The King's Mistress
by Nobel Grace
Summary: Book 2 of my currently unnamed series. A continuation of The King's Wife (the first book in my series). It is complete but will be updated weekly. Elizabeth Bennet is a beautiful woman who struggles with what her heart wants and what will secure her future. **WARNING: A large amount of sexual content!
1. Chapter 1

**SIX**

"Lizzie? Lizzie! Pay attention girl!" At the mention of my name I snapped to reality. I had been day dreaming of swimming in the river.

"Sorry Momma." I whispered as I sat up straighter and tried to pay attention to what Prior James was saying. Our church was a small place about a ten minute carriage ride away from our Manor. Our whole town went there. Papa even made our stable boys go. Naturally they had to walk so they always left earlier than us.

I casually looked around at the old people sitting close to us. Some were sleeping and some were nodding along with whatever the Prior was saying. There were a couple of other children who like me, were bored senseless. This place was boring. It was made of stone and the windows were small and up too high to see out of. And the "pews" were just wooden benches, nothing like the pews at the cathedral where Aunt Kitty lived.

Momma turned to me and glared. I jumped and faced forward. Papa always picked the front of the church. He would stand and let us slid in, youngest to oldest. So I was always sitting next to the wall. Lydia would sit beside me then Jane. Momma was next to her and papa was in front of the altar, the closest to God. Momma said he liked sitting there because he wanted God to know how thankful he was for three beautiful daughters but half the time he was cursing at God for giving him "three highly opinionated daughters." For six year old me, church seemed like the minutes were years.

When church finally ended Momma and Papa normally let the three of us walk home. Jane would hold my hand tightly and Lydia would walk ahead with the stable boys. She wasn't very girly. She liked to play in the mud and wrestle with the dogs. She even got into a fight once. And she was always making people laugh. I could barely make momma smile.

At 11 years old Jane was the eldest. Momma always said that she was going to be a great mother one day by the way she was always mothering me and Lydia. Unlike Lydia, Jane was very quiet and smart. She was the smartest person I know. She could do sums so quickly. And her poems always made momma cry. I only made Momma cry when I did something wrong.

But Momma would tell me that I was the one she worried about the least. "You'll marry one day." She told me. "You have that golden hair and those beautiful purple eyes. I have a great confidence that you will have many suitors in your lifetime." She smiled and would kiss my cheek.

"Lydia!" Jane shouted as we watched Lydia grab one of the boys and push him into some mud.

"Stop it Lydia!" I copied Jane because she was smart and it seemed like the right thing to do.

"Papa's going to be furious that his outfit is messed!" Jane snapped and yanked me to move faster.

"Oh he'll be fine! I'll just tell him it was my fault." She shrugged and kept walking laughing with the other boys. The boy blushed as he wiped the mud off his clothes. He was 7 and he was new to our house. He was always so afraid to get in trouble. Apparently his mother sent him there so he can learn and become someone's squire.

"Are you ok?" I asked as a hand came out of no where and helped him off the ground. He nodded and raced off.

"Your sister is something." Tad said smiling at us. Thaddeus Beaumont was one of Papa's stable boys. He had once been a kitchen hand but he had such a strong love for horses that Papa paired him up with our horse tamer and was training him on how to care for horses. Papa said if he truly loved what he was doing and tried his best then one day he could go on and work in the kings palace. At 13 though Tad never seemed to interested in the future. He liked to run and hunt rabbits and lay on the roof looking at the stars.

"Unfortunately she's out of my control." Jane said standing straighter and walking ahead. Her cheeks went pink and I couldn't understand it.

"Jane are you feeling alright?" I asked staring up at her.

"Of course." She snapped. "Watch where your putting your feet your about to step in…" and then I felt it. The hot squishy wet feeling of horse droppings covered my right foot. I closed my eyes and pictured my mother's horrified face. Jane shook her head and Tad chuckled. "I told you." She said dropping my hand and walking ahead.

"Come on Lizzie." Tad said holding out his hand.

"I can't go home with…poo on my shoes!" I said tears filling my eyes. Tad looked at me and then at my shoes. He looked around and sighed.

"I have an idea. Here quick give me your shoes." He said. I sat down and carefully peeled off my gross leather shoe.

"And the other one."

"Why do you need both?" I asked doing as he instructed.

"Because you're going to say that you didn't see a huge puddle and you walked through it." He said carrying my shoes to the stream close by. He plunged my dirty shoe into the water and started wiping the dung off.

"But that's a lie! Lying is a sin!"

"It's not really a lie. You didn't see the pile of manure on the ground and you walked through that." He dunked my good shoe in the water and smiled at me.

"But now I have to walk home with soaking wet shoes!" I whined and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Well walk bare foot then. It's not so bad once you get used to it." He said sticking his hands in his pockets and walking ahead of me. I took two steps, stepped one sharp little rock and then put my soaking shoes on. Tad smirked down at me as I appeared beside him. "Good choice." He called out to Jane for her to wait for us and raced ahead to her. I stared at the 13-year-old boy and felt a flutter in my stomach. It was a weird feeling that made me happy and scared at the same time. The whole way home Jane kept asking me if I was alright and I couldn't answer. My tummy was turning too much for words.

The sight of our manor made my stomach hurt a little less. The whole walk home I listened to Jane and Tad talk about horses and the different types of tricks he was teaching Sampson, his favourite one. They kept asking me if I was feeling well and the only response I could give them was a nod of my head. I feared that I would throw up my breakfast if I spoke one word.

As you walked along the main road the back of our house was first seen. When our house was constructed, Papa said, they did it all wrong. Our main gate was facing away from the road so if we were ever attacked then we would be in serious trouble. Momma always said "God Forbid!" when Papa talked like that but he liked to make sure we were prepared for the worst.

The one thing I loved about our timbered gate house was the carvings of swans on either side of the door. They were our sigil papa said, they represented our family. The gate house had one huge window where our guards would sit and watch and call down to unknown travelers. They also had little doors in the solid wooden gate that they would open to see who was calling on us. When we arrived the gates were open due to Papa's carriage. I smiled at Sir John, our oldest knight and continued through to the garden. The doors slammed behind me and my tummy felt a little better.

When you stood in the garden, which wasn't really a garden but a small field, you could see our whole house. The manor was surrounded by a tall stone wall. On the left was the south tower. This is where Momma and Papa slept. The south tower had three floors. The main door led into the first floor which contained a well. In the winter this well was always the coldest. One time Lydia was walking along the ledge of it and almost fell in. Sir John saved her and was rewarded a brand new horse. The second floor was their sitting room. Here Momma and Papa would talk and drink tea in the early morning. Momma did a lot of knitting and Papa would smoke his pipe by the large stone fireplace. When Momma was sad she often was found sitting by the window looking out over the back garden. The third floor was where they slept. They had a huge bed, made of special wood that had carvings of swans swimming and trumpeting. It was made of goose feathers and when you laid on it you sunk into it, like it was a cloud.

The second floor had its own door that led out to the front garden. And it had its own entrance into Papa's Solar. Papa told me once that a solar was supposed to be a room with lots of windows where people could sit in the sun without getting cold. Momma always rolled her eyes and said it was a useless room especially when our great hall had 12 magnificently large windows in it. Regardless papa loved this room. In the Solar there was a large fireplace with carvings of battles that Papa loved to talk about. Most were about King Arthur and all his victories. In the middle of the room was Papa's desk where he read and answered all his letters. On either side of the room was window seats overlooking the gardens. I loved to sit with him and read a book while he worked so he put cushions on the west side so I would be more comfortable. On each side of the fire places were two windows. Papa called them peep holes. These holes looked out onto the Great Hall. He said he would watch to see that we weren't up to mischief when we had our lessons. I was always on my best behavior in case he was watching. The first floor of the solar was Papa's library. It too had a fireplace but it was just a small one so the books wouldn't get damp, he said. It was barely ever lit. It had a door that led out to the front garden and another that led into the great hall.

The Great Hall was where we had all of our parties. It's main entrance was close to the North tower and the kitchen. There were twelve floor to ceiling windows with real glass in them. The sun was always shinning in this room and Jane often liked to dance around in here. During the warmer months we would have our lessons in here and in the winter months the great hall was left empty. With no fireplace it was hard to stay warm in here. The best times were when we had parties. Three large tables would be placed in the room to make one very long table. Then when dinner was finished being served the tables would be moved to the walls and the floors would be free for dancing. I loved when we had parties.

The Great hall had a staircase on the north side that led into all three floors of the North tower. The first set of stairs led down to the first floor where the north tower well was kept. This well was used for the horses and the baking. One time, our cook Betsy pulled up water and there was a dead mouse in the basket. Momma made sure that the water was boiled three times before we used it. Mice carried illness and we weren't allowed to touch them. Lydia and I still fed them pieces of cheese and even named some of them.

The staircase up had two landings. The first landing led into Jane's room. The second floor was all stone, even the fireplace. There were four small windows that looked over the pond. In the winter they were shut with wooden shutters and a piece of fur hung in front to keep the cold out. Jane rarely ever stayed in there for too long. She longed for the sun and for brightness.

The second landing led to the third floor, our room. This landing gave the best view of the whole Great Hall and sometimes Lydia and I would sit on the ledge and watch the parties below. Papa said that originally the north tower only had two floors and that once Lydia was born he decided to add the third floor. It was made of timber and had six large windows, two on each wall, that overlooked the pond below and the main road. This room was the nursery. Lydia and I shared it, along with our wet nurse, Sissy. Our bed was made of cotton and was along the back wall. It wasn't as big as Momma's but it was big enough for me and Lydia. Sissy's bed was under the east windows and she always wore three sweaters and had four wool blankets when she went to sleep. There was always a frigid breeze, she complained, and with no fireplace she was always frozen. I never seemed to mind and neither did Lydia. We too had wooden shutters for the winter and pieces of fur but Lydia hated closing the windows so they were almost always open.

The kitchens and stables were built of wood in the front garden beside the North tower. Sometimes when Betsy was making bread the smell would float in through our windows and wake us up. It was a small kitchen with a stone cooking pit and a large wooden table where the staff would eat. The kitchen led into the stables that held the four horses, three cows, one sheep and one pig. There were a couple of chickens too but they had their own house where they laid their eggs. The stable boys would sleep in the hay lofts and sometimes in the winter Papa would let them sleep in the great hall, allowing them to clear away a bit of the hay and build a small fire. The guards would sleep in the gatehouse and Betsy slept in the kitchen on a small bed in the corner.

I sighed as I looked up at the home I loved and watched the people move about it. Three boys were unhooking Papa's carriage and there was smoke coming from the kitchen. Momma was standing by on the landing by the solar door and spotted me before I could dash into the great hall.

"My God! What have you done to your shoes?" Momma screeched when I climbed the small staircase up to her. I looked down at my wrinkled, muddy, untied boots and tried kicking some of the mud off.

"I accidentally walked into a puddle." I said without looking up.

"Elizabeth Bennett you are completely careless with your things!" she scolded. "I have a good mind to never let you walk home again!" My head shot up and tears filled my eyes.

"Oh Mary. She's a child of six. Let her be." Papa said from inside the solar. He was sitting in the chair by the fire place.

"Give me your shoes." She sighed defeated. I slipped them off as a lady should and carefully handed them to her. She cringed and grumbled as she carried them away. I looked at Papa. He smiled and patted his knee. I raced and jumped on him causing him to groan and then chuckle.

"My my Lizzie. You're getting too big to sit on my lap." He said and when I pouted he grabbed my chin. "I still love you no matter how big you are." He kissed my cheek and I smiled. I climbed off of his lap and headed for the kitchen. I heard Tad's laugh and my stomach turned.

"Papa?" I said stopping at the door.

"Yes my dear?" He said looking up from the pipe he was packing.

"My tummy feels…funny."

"Funny? Do you mean you are feeling unwell?" He asked worried. I shook my head and then shrugged.

"It's just not right." I said. He narrowed his eyebrows and looked confused.

"You should ask your mother. She knows more than me." He winked at me and I smiled.

"Ok Papa." I blew him a kiss and then went looking for Momma. As I headed for the North Tower well I passed Betsy bringing hot cakes up to my sisters. I stopped and smelt them but then felt my tummy turn. I cringed and kept walking.

"What's wrong honey? You don't want my hot pies?" She placed a hand on her round hip and narrowed her dark brown eyes at me. Her black curly hair was poking out from her cap and her cheeks were pink from the heat of the cooking pit. I shook my head and hugged my tummy. "Are you feeling unwell?" She asked pressing her cool hand to my head. I was tired of explaining it so I said yes and kicked myself for telling two lies today. "Well you go and lie down. I'll send some tea up after lunch." She kissed my forehead and sent me upstairs. I avoided eye contact with any of the staff and just walked up the staircase to the third floor. I opened my bedroom door and sighed. It was a bright room and all the windows were open. The wind made the room cooler than it was downstairs. I climbed into the bed that Lydia and I shared and curled up on my side. As I lay there I thought about my tummy and ran my hands over it telling it to stop feeling peculiar. I realized I was in my church clothes and quickly changed into my night gown. I was just crawling back into bed when Momma walked in.

"I heard your not feeling well? Probably a chill from your wet feet." She said placing my tea on the night table and feeling my head. "You don't have a fever."

"I don't feel sick I just feel funny." I said.

"Funny? What does that mean?"

"I…I…my tummy. It's acting odd."

"Do you feel like you have to be sick?" I shook my head and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"No Momma I promise! It's just…" I heard Tad's voice from down below and my stomach turned again. I groaned and rolled onto my side. She looked at me and then looked out the window. "Every time I think about Tad my belly feels ...different." I said. She gave me that look again and I sighed. "Remember that time that Lydia brought home that big bag of frogs?" She nodded with regret. "Well she liked to shake the bag and the frogs would jump around a lot. My tummy feels like that." She looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Frogs?" I nodded. She studied my face and then smiled. She even laughed. For the first time I had made Momma laugh. Except I wasn't trying to make her laugh. I frowned at her and she gently touched my face. "Oh my darling girl. It's called a crush."

"A crush?"

"Yes. It's a feeling you get when your heart begins to love someone."

"Love?" My eyes went wide and I sat up straight. "Ugh! Bleh! I don't _love_ him Momma." She laughed again.

"You don't love him yet. But you're heart has told your brain that you might love him one day and your brain is worried so it makes your tummy bounce around like frogs." I looked down at my tummy and shook my head in wonder.

"That's so strange." I said.

"It's a big part of being an adult." She smirked. "Lie down and drink your tea. I'll come up in an hour and see if the frogs have gone home." I smiled and did as I was told. When she opened the door I thought of something.

"Momma?" She turned to me. "Why is it called a crush?" Her smile dropped and she sighed before smiling again.

"Because most of the time they end up making your heart feel like it's being crushed into little pieces." She said. I felt my eyes go wide again.

"I don't want to have a crush anymore." She smiled and shook her head.

"No body does. But it'll go away. I promise." She smiled and then closed the door behind me.

I lay in bed for an hour before Momma told me to get up. I put on my plain green play clothes and was sent outside with Lydia and Jane to enjoy the sun. "Who knows when it'll come back with all this rain that we have had." I blinked into the light as we stepped out onto the back garden patio stones. We played a game of skip, where we through a rock and could only step on four stones to get to it. Lydia made up the game and therefore she always won due to new rules. It was frustrating. So eventually Jane gave up and I followed her. She sat under a large tree and opened a book of blank pages Papa had made for her. It was so she could keep her poems neat and organized.

"What do you write about Jane?" I asked laying on my stomach beside her. I picked a dandelion from the grass and started pulling the petals off.

"A lot of things." She said looking up at the sky.

"Like what?" She closed her eyes and pulled the pins from her hair. I watched her mesmerized as she shook it out. She was so beautiful. She had long dark hair which she now started wearing in buns on her head. Momma said that a girl reaches a certain age that wearing her hair down becomes a privilege. Her hair fell from the bun and naturally curled down her back. Her nose was straight, her lips were small and her skin was porcelain white. She looked at me with bright blue eyes, like the sky on a cloudless day and smiled.

"Well Lizzie, sometimes I write of the birds and the trees. Some days when I am sad I write about my hurts and pains, normally on those days the rain is a big part of my poem. But mostly I write of love." She smiled at me.

"Love? What do you know about love?" Lydia said throwing herself on the ground beside Jane. Lydia was also beautiful but in her own way. Her hair was long and dark but wild. It's curls were always wind swept and the only time she wore it up was when Momma made her. She often complained about the pins hurting her head and as soon as she could her hair was down and her play clothes were on. Her eyes were dark blue with a white ring around her iris. It was like looking into the night sky. They always twinkled with amusement and her smile was contagious. She had a few crooked teeth but they were white as anything.

"I know more about love than you do." Jane said offended.

"I don't know anything about love." Lydia said with a raised eyebrow. "And I don't plan on ever wanting to know." She made a face of disgust at me and I giggled.

"You don't ever want to be in love?" Jane asked with a crease in her forehead. She always got it when she worried.

"Never. Love is for fools."

"Do you not want to find someone to spend your life with? Do you not want to get married?"

"Ugh absolutely not! Marriage leads to babies and I definitely wont get fat for someone else. Plus then I have to act like a proper lady once I am married. And that's no fun." Jane smirked and shook her head.

"One day you'll change your way of thinking."

"And one day you'll be an old fat married lady with children hanging off every limb." Lydia pulled on one of Jane's arms and mimicked a baby crying. Jane laughed and then trying shushing her but Lydia just smiled. "Think you can handle it Janey?"

"Jane will be an excellent mother one day." Tad said appearing out of nowhere.

"And how do you come to this conclusion Monsignor?" She said mocking his French background.

Tad was born and raised in our house, therefore making him English. But his mother had been French and when people learned about his French background they made japes at Tad. Papa often talks about that day that Tad's mother stumbled up to the gatehouse and knocked frantically on the door. She was, as she claimed, a nobel Frenchwoman who had been sent here to marry the Prince. But along the way her carriage was overrun by bandits and she got lost. Papa never gave me the details but I heard that one of the bandits did something bad to her. Papa said that the night she arrived it was pouring rain and Momma was in bed, crying about the second baby they had lost that year. He said all Momma did was cry those days and that Tad was a Godsend. His mother was cold and sick and about to birth the baby.

Papa said Momma jumped into action, called the help of all the female staff and together they brought little Tad into the world. He said he never made a sound, barely cried when he was born and rarely fussed thereafter. Papa said he was only inconsolable once and that was the day his mother died. A week after she had given birth her sickness took over and she passed away. She named him Thaddeus Beaumont and left him a ring with a family crest on it. Papa said that they often wondered if they should bring him to the courts. But Momma said they would send him back to France and he would be raised in a horrible orphanage. Momma begged Papa to let her raise him and until Jane was born it was as if he was their own flesh and blood. When Jane was born Papa said that people started talking about them raising some French woman's baby. He said it was the hardest thing they ever did sending him to the stables to be raised by the staff. He said even Tad had a hard time adjusting, and at two years old it was like he had lost his family all over again. Even though he was still in the same manor he was not allowed to eat or play with Jane and my parents.

Over the years, and especially when Papa realized he would have no sons, he still treated Tad as one of his own. They often went on hunting trips and always entertained us with a match of swordplay. Tad had not grown up as my brother but was definitely one of the family.

Jane hissed at Lydia but she just smirked up at Tad. He was so used to it that he smirked back at her and shook his head.

"Because she has you to teach her how much work it will be to tend to children. Especially ones so needy as you." Jane giggled and Lydia scowled.

"How rude!" She said pretending to be offended. Tad smiled down at Jane and she blushed again. I frowned at her and Lydia laughed.

"Well I guess you'll never find out, will you Thaddeus? She'll marry some old fart from the north and you'll have to stay here and marry a common wench with your own litter of stable boys." Tad frowned and then his fists clenched and his face went red.

"Lydia that is not kind!" Jane shouted. Lydia looked up at Tad and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Stable boys should remember their place." She said standing up. Normally she would have been shorter than him but because of the hill the tree grew on she was at his eye level.

"Lydia!" Jane hissed again. Her face was a red as a tomato.

"Nobel ladies should remember that us stable boys are the ones who make sure your horse is cared for and that your family is protected at night. They wouldn't want to be attacked in the middle of the night due to unfaithful stable boys." Lydia's smirk fell from her face and she held her breath. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds and then Lydia laughed.

"Come now Tad. I was only teasing! Let's not make harmless threats and ruin our dear friendship." Lydia said kissing his cheek. He stared at her and then forced a smile.

"Ladies." He bowed. "Always a pleasure." He stormed off into the Great Hall and slammed the door behind him.

"Must you always do that to him? You know how much he hates being teased about his status." Jane said with a sigh. She drew a flower in the corner of a page. Lydia sighed and shook her head.

"Oh Jane. Please don't be so silly as to fill your head with those ideas. It will never happen." Lydia said and I blinked at her confused.

"What will never happen?" I asked sitting up. Jane stood up suddenly.

"You don't know that! You cannot possibly foresee the future."

"I know Momma and Papa would never allow it. You're a nobel. He's a peasant. It never works." Jane blinked at her and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"You are a cruel, cruel child." She spat at her and she ran off. Lydia frowned and it was very quiet all of a sudden.

"Why is she crying?" I asked watching Jane disappear through the stone wall and out into the corn field.

"That is a prime example of what love does to someone Lizzie. Remember that." I stared at the open door where my oldest sister had disappeared through and wondered how she had fallen in love. Did she have frogs in her belly too? Did she want to throw up and laugh at the same time? And who was she in love with?

"Come little sister. Let's play cat and mouse." Lydia said with a hunger in her eyes.

"You always catch me." I complained.

"You'll just have to run faster." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'll give you a ten second start. One. Two. Three." I stood up took one last look at the door and raced off as fast as my little legs would carry me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ten**

"Sit still Lizzie. Ladies never fidget." Momma said scolding me from the other side of the carriage.

"She's excited Mary." Papa said giving me a wink.

"Excited or not she's going to crease her dress." I frowned and Jane grabbed my hand.

"We're almost there." She said with a bright smile. We were on our way to London where for the king's coronation. I couldn't sit still because I was so excited to finally see a castle. I had been to Aunt Kitty's "castle" as she called it but Papa said it was nothing compared to the real castle in London and Nottingham. He spoke of its high ceilings and grand staircases and all the beds were made of goose feathers. He spoke of hidden passage ways and how the gardens were larger than our own property. I couldn't wait to explore.

Lydia sighed and I looked over at her. She was sitting at the window frowning about being in, not only a fancy dress but a pink fancy dress. Jane and I laughed quietly when she came down the stairs with her hair neatly pulled back, half of it in a small bun and the other half in long ringlets. Her dress was a light pink with a bow at the top of the bodice, making her small breast barely noticeable, and two more bows on her hips. She tried pushing it down and complained about how she could barely walk from her petticoats weighing her down.

"If I fall in a lake I'll surely drown." She told Momma. Momma raised her eyebrows and calmly said, "Well stay away from lakes then." Jane and I erupted in giggles and Lydia scowled.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you two." She snapped. "You're dressed the same as me." And it was true but for Jane and me it was a different experience. We enjoyed being dressed up.

Jane wore a light blue dress that had a tight bodice and a wide skirt. Since Jane was now 15 her breast her hard to hide and her bodice seemed to make them more visible. Momma smiled proudly when Jane walked into the room where as Papa frowned and whined about missing his baby daughter. Her dress was beautiful and I longed to be wearing it. The whole dress sparkled in the sunlight and the sleeves came off her shoulders slightly, so she had to keep her arms at a certain spot. Her hair was up in a low braided bun, with a braid across the top of her forehead and a blue ribbon was braided into her hair. She pinched her cheeks to make them red and her eyes seemed to be brighter since wearing the dress.

My dress was plain green. Momma called in emerald green to make it sound fancier but with my child's body the dress was just plan and boring and green. Momma loved dressing me in green. She said it brought out my complexion and with my golden hair it made me look spectacular. But I was nothing compared to Jane and even Lydia. My hair was curled and there was a green ribbon tied around my head with a bow at the top. To keep warm we were each given a white fur shawl as an early Christmas present, but it was for special occasions only. When I had walked out to the carriage Tad was patting the horse. He smiled at me and pinched my cheek. "Well?" I asked holding my arms out. Those frogs never went away like Momma had said. If anything they got worse. I would find myself watching him while he worked and if something good or bad happened to me I had to tell him. When he looked at my dress he smiled. "You look adorable!" He said. Adorable! I frowned at this. I didn't want to be adorable I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted him to think of me as the most beautiful girl in all of England. I frowned and sulked in the carriage until we left.

We arrived at the Cathedral and joined the line of carriages. It seemed to take us forever to reach the Cathedral steps. Finally Tad jumped down from the drivers seat and opened the door. He was in his best suit and his blonde hair was brushed back. He bowed to Papa, offered Momma his hand without looking at her and then helped the rest of us out of the carriage. I was first, being closest to the door, then Lydia and Jane. I looked back as he helped Jane out of the carriage and he whispered something in her ear and she blushed. I felt my cheeks heat up and turned away. Momma noticed too and raised her eyebrows "Jane!" she said and Jane jumped into line, following Momma and Papa into the cathedral. Papa smiled and nodded at people while Momma whispered furiously to him.

"So what did he say?" Lydia teased as we entered the Cathedral in a line. We smiled and nodded at people we know, but mostly just smiled.

"Nothing." Jane hissed.

"He said something that made you blush."

"He just said that I looked pretty." Jane nodded at an old man.

"And then he told you that he wanted to take you round back and give you a ride on his stallion?" Lydia raised her eyebrows at her and Jane gasped.

"LYDIA!" She shrieked and Momma looked back with a scowl. Jane's face went purple and we all looked at the floor.

"Must I remind you that you are in God's house! There is no shouting in church!" She snapped. "Also remember that you are ladies, for heavens sake." She looked at Lydia and she gaped at her.

"I wasn't the one shouting!" Lydia mumbled to the ground as we continued on down the asile.

Due to our status we were in the middle of the cathedral. It was impossible to see. Momma and Papa were waving at people and talking about the future king to the ones closest to them.  
"Good morning darlings." Aunt Kitty's voice came from behind us. We turned around exited and saw her seat herself directly behind us. She gave each of us a kiss on the cheek and waved to Momma. She wore a pink dress and had her brown hair up in a bun, with little curls around her face. She was like Lydia, wild and enjoyed her freedom. She was always pulling at her dresses and complaining about the pins in her hair. Which is how we all knew that Lydia was her favourite.

Aunt Kitty was Momma's only sister. Their mother had died when they were little and Grandfather had never remarried. Aunt Kitty's husband, Uncle James was an older man who spoke very little and smiled even less. It had been an arranged marriage and had only produced one child, little Charlotte, who was 2 years younger than me. She had brown hair and green eyes that radiated innocence. Her thin face was spotted with light brown freckles. She was awfully shy and barely spoke, except to me. She always talked to me.

"May I sit with Lizzie, Momma?" She peeped at her mother.

"Alright but no noise." She said as if we were the loudest children in England. Charlotte was wearing a green dress like me but hers had white frills along the neckline and base and she had a white sash around the middle.

"I like your dress." I whispered to her.

"And I yours." She said with a bright smile. She had just lost her first tooth, the front top one. Her smile made me smile.

"Are you excited to see the castle?" I said raising my eyebrows. "Papa said it is very extravagant."

"I can't wait to see the king. I heard he has the finest robes in England." She said looking behind her.

"Of course he does silly. He's the king." I laughed and she smiled.

"I wonder what he's like. Do you think he's going to be a good king?" She said with a worried crease on her forehead.

"Of course. I heard he's very kind. Never shouts and always smiles." I grabbed her hand. "You worry about silly things cousin." She smiled at me and when her father coughed behind us her hand squeezed mine. She was always doing peculiar things like this and when I told her about things Papa did for me she always seemed sad. She never talked about him and when she did she only said bad things. I meant to ask her why she disliked her father so much but I always forgot.

The trumpets sounded and we all stood up and the cathedral went quiet. "Make way for Prince Adam, future King of England." We watched the procession of people come down the aisle, the bishop leading the way, the alter boys carrying the cross. The King's hat was visible before the king was. He wore a golden hat with three large white feathers sticking up. When the King appeared Charlotte squeezed my hand and smiled. His outfit was magnificent. He wore a white tunic with a golden sash and gold trimmings. His leggings were golden and his boots were polished black. We all bowed as he strode past us. He was a marvel to watch as he walked with confidence and pride.

"He looks wonderful!" Charlotte whispered.

"He's so handsome." I said unable to take my eyes away from him. Even as he stood at the altar I sat up straight and struggled to see him. At one point Lydia pinched my arm and Momma told me to sit down. I hadn't even realized I had been standing. There was a small commotion off to my left where a blonde woman led another dark haired woman out of the church.

"Looks like she's going to faint from boredom too." Lydia smirked and Jane scowled at her.

"All hail, King Henry Adam Michael McTavish the second, King of England, protector of the realm." We all stood and bowed as Adam stood with the orb and scepter, his magnificent crown atop his head. He radiated confidence and pride. He was our ruler, our leader and he looked the part.

As the cathedral cleared out Charlotte and I clung to each other and talked about the ceremony. We followed behind Jane and Lydia, giggling about the king and how handsome he was. It took quite a while to get our carriage. When Tad jumped down, Momma made everyone get in and then touched Tad's arm. She spoke to him softly and he frowned slightly before nodding and standing up straighter. I looked at Jane who was watching curiously and when Momma got in the carriage she turned and looked out the window. Her breathing was heavy and her hands were fidgeting in her lap. I reached over and grabbed her hand. She jumped, looked at my worried face and smiled. She held my hand the whole way there and the only one who spoke was Papa.

It felt like it took ages to get there but eventually we rode through the tall iron gates into the palace grounds. The castle was huge, like Papa had said. The driveway was longer than the road to church back home. Carriages lined up outside the entrance stairs and people were pouring into the castle.

Tad opened the door in front of the steps and let us out. He held out his hand for all of us but said nothing. He never even smiled. When we were all out he drove the carriage away without another glance back and Jane let out a shaky breath.

"Come dears." Momma said, looking at Jane's frown. "Smile. We are going to dance and eat excellent food." Lydia grumbled, Jane nodded and I smiled brightly. What was wrong with these two? It was the castle! The best place in England.

We followed the other guests into the great hall where we would eat and the whole time I couldn't stop looking at the ceiling. They were painted with angels and clouds. Papa was right, they were extremely high and it felt like I was looking up into heaven.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Papa whispered to me and I smiled brightly.

"It's amazing!" He smiled at me and touched my head.

"One day you will live here." He said to me and I raised my eyes.

"Really?" He smiled and nodded.

"One day. When you're older. Maybe you can be a lady-in-waiting. Or even marry the king himself." I stared at him with wide eyes. Me? Marry the king? Live in the castle? That was all I wanted was to call this beautiful place home.

"Don't fill her head with silly dreams John." Momma whispered. "You know she would never be considered a good match."

"She's only ten." Lydia said and then blushed when Momma scowled at her.

"You never know what might happen Mary." Papa said giving me a wink. He gave our names to the guards and we were announced to the rest of the room.

"Baron John Bennett, Baroness Mary Bennett, the honourable Jane Bennett, the honourable Lydia Bennett and the honourable Elizabeth Bennet." People nodded at our entrance and some called out hellos and greeted us. But most just went on talking to each other.

As Momma and Papa stopped to talk, I studied the ceiling. There were baby angels and grown up angels. There were men and women without clothes. Their faces held peace and happiness. They looked like they were having a party too.

"Momma look." I said pulling on her skirt. She smiled down at me but dismissed me. Jane and Lydia stood quietly behind, Lydia still scowling, only she was trying hard to hide it and Jane staring at the floor.

"Ah Bennett! How are you?" A man approached us. He was a tall, muscular man with bright orange hair and a red beard. He was young but not as young as Jane. He had bright green eyes and freckles on his nose. He wore a dark green tunic and white leggings. He had a big smile and perfect white teeth. He was quite handsome.

"Doing fine York, doing fine. How are you?"

"Well you know me. Battling all of God's temptations one at a time." He said watching a young blonde girl walk by. "Sometimes twice." He winked and Papa laughed.

"Such a struggle for you." Papa japed and Momma coughed with disapproval. "Oh you remember my wife?" Papa turned to Momma and she smiled slightly.

"Baroness, you're looking marvelous." He kissed her hand.

"You don't fool me with your charm Thomas Young. I've known you since you were in swaddling clothes." Momma said smiling at him. Thomas smirked and shrugged.

" Ah yes friends with my sister. That is either a very unfortunate thing or you are very blessed." He winked at her.

"Blessed to be her friend and unfortunate to have known you for so long? I agree." Thomas and Papa laughed and Momma looked proud. I looked at my sisters and we were shocked. Momma had never talked like this before.

"Ah Mary. Still a spite fire." He kissed her cheek. "Are these those scrawny little ducklings that I saw years ago?" He asked finally becoming aware of our presence.

"These are our daughters." Papa said. "Jane, Lydia and Elizabeth."

"My my, you have grown so much." He said kissing my hand. "I remember when you were just a baby." I smiled unable to speak.

"And Lydia. Such fire in your eyes just like your mother." He said taking in her scowl.

"She hates wearing gowns." I said and Momma raised her eyebrows at me.

"Does she?" Thomas smiled. "But you look so lovely. The pink brings out the colour in your cheeks and the brightness in your eyes." He said kissing her hand. Lydia blushed. She actually, truly blushed! I stared at her speechless pink face and couldn't believe it. Jane chuckled and looked away. This caught Thomas' attention.

"And Jane. How are you?" he said moving in front of her.

"Very well thank you." She curtsied to him and he smiled.

"No need to do that for poor old me. I'm just a regular man."

"A regular man with a large house, a lot of property and a house full of servants."

"You forgot the large amounts of money I have." He smirked and Papa laughed. Jane rolled her eyes with disgust and looked away. "Have I offended you my dear?" He said looking amused and taken back at the same time.

"Not at all." She said without looking at him. "Pompous prick." She mumbled and Lydia coughed back her laughter.

"Jane!" Momma hissed.

"It's alright Mary. No need to lecture her." He smiled and gently grabbed her hand. "I do hope you'll save a dance for me. I look forward to hearing more about how pompous I am." He kissed her hand, his gaze never leaving hers and she flushed, as usual. He nodded to Papa and moved on as the dinner bell rang.

"My goodness Jane I cannot believe you would speak in such a way."

"He was being pompous Mary." Papa defended as we headed to our seats.

"He's completely and totally arrogant. How dare he talk about money to us? Why would you want to keep someone like him in your company? Someone who dangles his wealth in front of you so you can feel jealousy?" Jane went on a rant, which caused some people close by to look over.

"Jane." Papa said for the six time finally catching her attention. "He doesn't have very much money left. His sister's husband spent most of it before he came of age and he's working his hardest to earn it back." Her scowl fell slightly.

"He still has a title." She snapped.

"But without money what good is a title? If you can't afford nice things and to care for a family then what is the point of having a title?"

"I heard he's been working in his own corn field just to cut back on the staff." Momma chimed in and this broke Jane. She frowned and tears filled her eyes.

"Don't cry girl. We're supposed to be happy." Momma hissed as more people started to watch.

"I just feel so…awful." She whispered.

"Don't worry he probably enjoyed it." Papa said with a smile.

"You can apologize to him later." Momma said and the conversation stopped as Aunt Kitty sat down beside Papa. The room erupted with Trumpets and announcer shouted "The King of England". We all stood and bowed as he walked by and then clapped as he took his seat at the head table. He smiled brightly and nodded to some of his guests. He had taken off his hat but still wore his golden robes. He whispered something to the man on his right and they both smiled at a girl with dark hair, the same one who had been left the church earlier that day. She wasn't even aware of their gazes for she was talking to the blonde woman beside her. I watched her curiously. When the soup was brought she used the desert spoon until the blonde lady stopped her. And she always held out her water cup when the wine was being brought around. It was almost as if she didn't belong in the room.

"What are you staring at?" Lydia snapped at me. I blinked at her and then tried to explain what I had witnessed. "Oh Lizzie. You can be so petty sometimes." She said. "You really should learn to mind your own business. Nobody likes being stared at when they're trying to eat." I frowned and pushed the food around on my plate.

"Leave her alone Lydia." Jane grumbled. She hadn't eaten her soup or the fresh green salad and she hadn't even touched her chicken and mashed potatoes.

"Are you feeling alright Jane?" I asked.

"Not particularly." She said with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked and then Momma became aware that Jane wasn't eating.

"Listen you start eating now or there will be serious punishments when you return home." She threatened as she used to.

"But I'm not hungry." She whispered without looking up. Her cheeks were bright red.

"Just eat a couple of bites then. Don't let this food go to waste. There are starving people just outside the gates."

"There are starving people inside the gates." She said and Momma blinked at her. She looked like she was going to lecture her and then sighed.

"I'm sure that they are getting fed. This isn't a horrible place Jane and the sooner you accepted your lineage the better." And the discussion ended. Lydia had all of a sudden lost her appetite too and from the look on Jane's face I couldn't eat either. Momma ignored us and continued talking to Aunt Kitty but Papa kept looking over at Jane and then raising his eyebrows at me. All I could do was frown back.

When dessert was served Jane was quietly crying. Lydia and I just sat there and tried not to look at her, for Jane could make anyone cry. All of a sudden the King got up, snapped at the man on his right and stormed out of the room. It was so quick that only half of the room stood up to bow.

"If you would all head to the next room. The dancing will start in a few minutes." The man on the King's left said. He looked a lot like the king only…meaner. I got a cold chill in my back when he walked by. People grumbled and groaned as they stood up with full stomachs. Momma turned to Jane and whispered something to her. She grabbed Lydia's hand and the two of them disappeared.

"What's wrong with Jane Papa?" I asked as we headed to the dancing hall.

"I was going to ask you that." He smirked. "Don't worry dear. She'll be alright." He smiled and pinched my cheek and I smiled back. I met up with Charlotte and we walked hand in hand into the dancing hall. It was an even bigger room with red velvet covered chairs all along the walls. There was an orchestra on the balcony and servants were offering drinks to the entering guests.

"Isn't this beautiful!" Charlotte squealed.

"I can't wait to dance." I said as the music came on. It was customary, Momma said, to wait to be asked to dance. But being a ten-year-old girl it wasn't likely that anyone would ask me. So Charlotte and I sat against the wall and watched three dances go by. Momma and Papa danced. Aunt Kitty danced and Uncle James looked bored. Even Lydia danced when her and Jane returned.

"Feeling better now Jane?" I asked as she sat quietly beside me. She smiled slightly and nodded.

"Just a little tummy ache. Nothing to fret about darling." She said and kissed my head.

"I want to dance SO badly." Charlotte whined as she placed her head in her hands.

"So go and dance silly." Jane said with a smile. We looked at her shocked.

"We don't know the steps." I said watching the choreographed steps.

"And we don't have partners."

"Be each other's partner." She laughed at our shocked faces. "How ever are you going to learn if you don't practice?" I exchanged a worried glance with Charlotte and she laughed. "Here I'll teach you." She said grabbing my hands. She showed me the steps and then we tried doing them together. She laughed when I stepped on her toes and traded me for Charlotte. When the song changed to a waltz She called me back and we started waltzing just in front of the chairs where Charlotte was sitting. We didn't dance with the adults; we had our own little section. She was about to switch me with Charlotte when there was a tap on her shoulder and she stopped.

"May I cut in?" Thomas asked me. I blinked at him and then laughed.

"Of course." I said smiling at my sister and then sat beside Charlotte. Jane inhaled deeply and then sighed.

"One dance." She said and then walked out onto the floor. Thomas looked back at us and gave us a wink before the song started. Charlotte and I watched in awe as Jane gracefully swept around the room. There were others dancing but there was something about the way Jane danced, everyone was watching her. She was beautiful. Her dress sparkled, her face was calm and elegant, her dancing was slow and perfect.

"I want to dance like her." Charlotte said.

"I want to be her." I said and Charlotte laughed.

"Poor Lydia. Her partner is just awful." Charlotte giggled and I noticed Lydia for the first time that night.

Lydia was dancing with some young pimpled boy who kept stepping on her feet and I could tell she was very much annoyed. She had the look on her face that she got when she was going to punch someone. I laughed as she passed me and she stuck her tongue out jokingly.

When the dance was done Thomas walked Jane back over to us and kissed her hand. "I hope you will dance with me again sometime soon." She studied his face and raised her eyebrows.

"If it is a lucky day for you, maybe." She said and then turned and gave us a wink before sitting down. Charlotte and I complimented her on her dancing and she blushed. After her dance with Thomas men and boys were lining up to dance with her.

Half way through her 5th dance I had the urge to relieve myself and went to tell Momma and Papa. They were talking with Thomas and didn't see me approach them.

"She is a beautiful girl and I would be honoured if you would allow me to marry her." Thomas said and I stopped.

"She's too young." Papa said with a stern look. It was his "no" face.

"She's the same age that I was." Momma argued.

"Why do you want to marry Jane? There are plenty of other girls in this very room. Why have you picked my 15 year old daughter?" I gasped. Thomas wanted to marry Jane?

"I promise I would treat her right. I know my financial situation is…awful. But I just have this feeling about her. She's like no one I have ever met." He gushed.

"You say that about every girl." Papa said trying to make a joke but when he looked into Thomas' face he sighed. "I'll think about it." He said but by then I had forgotten why I was there and had to go back to tell Jane.

"There you are. You just missed old Lord Lead-Foot step on Jane's toes. It was quite amusing." Lydia said with a laugh.

"You'll never believe what I just heard!" I whispered what I had heard in Lydia's ear and she looked at me shocked.

"You're sure that you heard this?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"You don't think that maybe you heard them say someone else's name?" She narrowed her eyes at me and I groaned.

"He said: My 15 year old daughter! Does he have another 15 year old daughter?" Lydia sighed and looked at Jane.

"This is not going to end well." She said.

"Why? He's handsome. And tall. And funny."

"He has red hair!" Lydia said blinking at me.

"I think red hair is nice." Charlotte peeped and we blinked at her. She blushed and then shrunk back against the wall.

"I think he'd be perfect for her."

"Well I think Jane has someone else in mind." She said and we watched her desperately trying to avoid getting stepped on again by the big man who was dancing with her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ten**

Jane basically collapsed on the chair beside us and sighed. "I'm tired of dancing with men who don't know how to dance." She frowned and rolled her ankles. "I think they broke my toes." All Lydia and I could do was nod and fake a smile at her. Both of us were so bothered by what I had heard that we could barely talk let alone dance or smile. Lydia had turned down that pimpled boy three times and Charlotte had gone off to find something more fun to do.

"What's the matter with you two?" Jane said eyeing us with suspicion.

"Who us?" Lydia jumped.

"Nothing Jane. Why?" We both smiled at her but our faces must've given us away.

"Alright you two! Tell me."

"Honestly Jane its nothing." Lydia said with a smile.

"It's just something we overheard." I said and Lydia glared at me.

"What? Who are we gossiping about? Come on tell!" Jane moved closer and smiled with eagerness. I looked at Lydia who studied her hands and I sighed.

"Well it was just Papa and Momma."

"Lizzie!" Lydia hissed and Jane's smile fell.

"What? What are they talking about? Is it bad? Is it about me?" Her eyes flicked from Lydia's sad face to my concerned expression and he narrowed her eyes at me. "Please tell me. Is it about Tad?"

"No." I said as Lydia said: "Not really."

"If you two don't tell me right now I'm going to scream." Lydia and I exchanged glances and then she sighed and nodded.

"I needed to use the lavatory and was going to tell Momma and Papa in case I was gone to long so they would know that I was missing. Also I didn't want them to worry when they noticed I was gone and-"

"Lizzie! Get to the point!" Jane snapped.

"She overheard Momma and Papa talking to that York guy about marrying you."

"Marrying me?" Her face paled.

"He wants to marry you Jane." I said with a smile and when I saw the sadness in her face my smile fell. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"He is handsome. And he's a Lord! He's apparently got huge pieces of land. It could be a good arrangement." Lydia said with quiet enthusiasm.

"A good arrangement? The man doesn't have a penny to his name!" Jane snapped.

"Neither does Tad." Lydia said quietly without breaking eye contact with Jane. Tad? Why would Tad care? I knew he and Jane were close but I couldn't see him caring about who Jane married. He was a peasant and Jane was pretty close to a Lady. She would be a Lady if she married Lord York. Maybe Jane was in love with Tad and that's why they were talking about him. It made sense the way she would blush every time they spoke.

"Do you love him?" I blurted out, my stomach in knots.

"York? Absolutely not! I just met the man." She stared at him across the room. He was talking to a young man with a thick black beard.

"I think she means Tad." Lydia said with a sigh.

"I…I…I don't even know what love is." Jane blushed. I frowned at her and shook my head.

"But you might love him?"

"I…I don't know Lizzie. Its so complicated." She sighed.

"What's complicated about him. Either you love him or you don't!" I snapped and she looked at me shocked. Lydia sighed with frustration.

"Am I the only one who does not love the stable boy?"

"He's not just a stable boy! He's smart and funny." Jane defended.

"And he's handsome and excellent with horses." I said.

"Your right. How could I not fall in love with him?" She rolled her eyes at us and shook her head. "Regardless wedding plans may be in your near future. What are you going to do?"

"Did they say yes?" Jane asked her face pale again.

"He didn't say yes or no but he had his no face on." I said and Jane sighed.

"I'll talk to him and try to convince him I'm not ready." Jane said with a nod.

"Technically you're at the perfect age to get married." Lydia argued.

"That's what Momma said." I added and Jane's face creased with anger.

"Who's side are you two on? Do you not realize that if I marry this York guy that I'll be sent off to York to live with him? I'll have to share his bed, have his children and run his house until he or I die? Is this the life that you would want for me? Have I wronged you so greatly?" There were tears in her eyes.

"Jane…" Lydia started but she shook her head.

"I'm going to get fresh air." She said standing up. Lydia and I stood to follow her but she held up her hand. "I will go alone." She said and then strode out through the garden doors into the freezing cold night. Lydia and I looked at each other and sat back down.

"That went splendidly." She said with a sigh. "Why did you have to tell her?" She snapped.

"I…I just wanted to warn her. Wouldn't you want to know?" I defended.

"Yes but here was not the right place to do that. It's not like they would be married tomorrow." Lydia said staring at the open door where Jane had exited.

"I thought I was helping." I frowned.

"Now she's out there in the freezing cold." She sighed. "I'm going to look for her." She stood up and I went to follow. "Stay here in case Jane returns." She said and headed off outside. I sat on my hands and bit my lip for six whole dances. The whole time my stomach turned and turned and I felt sicker and sicker with each new song. When the seventh song started Papa appeared in front of me and smiled.

"Where are your sisters?" He asked and I blinked up at him. Did I tell him or did I lie? What would happen if I told him? Would he get angry? Would Jane and Lydia be angry? Would I get in trouble? I apparently took to long to answer because he crouched down in front of me and his blue eyes met mine. "Lizzie, where are your sisters?" He said with a more stern voice. I cracked.

"I heard you talking to Lord York about marrying Jane to him. And well I came back and told Lydia." He inhaled deeply and nodded. "And then well, Jane came over and we weren't going to say anything but she knew something was wrong."

"Oh Lizzie." He said sitting on the chair beside me. "Im not going to give my daughter away that quickly."

"I told her that you had your no face on but she was still very upset about it."

"My no face?" He smirked at me.

"Yea the face you make when you say no. I thought telling her that would make her feel better but she ran off without her coat."

"She went outside?" Papa's smile fell as he looked out the open door into the dark night.

"And Lydia followed her." I whispered. Papa sworn under his breath and wiped his hands on his pants.

"Those fools. It's freezing out there." He grumbled. "I must go find them."

"I'll go with you." I said wrapping my coat around my shoulders.

"You stay here in case they get back."

"But Papa!" I whined and he grabbed my chin.

"I don't need to be looking for you as well as those two silly girls." He said clearly angry. "Stay here." He said and then he too disappeared. I sat and sulked in my chair for two more songs and then had enough of waiting. I looked at Momma who was talking with Aunt Kitty and then quickly slipped out the doors.

My breath was taken away by the coldness in the night air. I wrapped my arms around my body and thought about going back for my coat. But then I spotted Momma through the window and decided it was too great of a risk. I looked at the fresh snow and noticed three sets of foot prints; one big, two small and one set were father apart as if someone were running. So I followed them.

They went down the stairs around the side of the castle and headed through a small forest to the stables. I spotted Papa striding ahead to the stable doors and I ran up to him.

"Did you find her?" I asked out of breath.

"Elizabeth Bennet! You disobedient girl! I told you to stay there." He snapped. His nose was red and his eye were angry.

"I know but I was so worried that I thought I would go crazy." I said. He rubbed his face and shook his head. I shivered with the wind and he sighed.

"Here. Put this on." He said passing me his coat. I wrapped it around my shoulders and it fell to my knees. We walked up to the barn together where Lydia was standing peeking into the doors.

"What's going on?" Papa said startling her.

"Papa! I-uh-what are you doing here?" Her eyes flicked from me to Papa and back. "You told!" She snapped.

"I noticed you slip out the garden door and was curious as to why my oldest and supposedly smart children would go out during the night without coats. Apparently all of you are fools it would seem."

"I'm sorry Papa." Lydia and I said in unison.

"Have you seen Jane?" He asked. Lydia's face paled and her eyes flicked to the barn door before she looked at the ground.

"No I haven't found her yet." She said. Papa narrowed his eyes at her.

"Then what were you looking at." He moved towards the barn door and push it open. What happened next was a blur.

The brightness of the barn blinded me slightly and then a shirtless Tad came into view. He looked up shocked and beneath him in the hay was Jane. Her hair was messed and there were sticks of hay in it. Her dress was undone and her undergarments were showing. I blinked at her swollen red lips and her flushed cheeks. I felt Papa's whole body seize.

"Papa it's not what you think." Jane said and then Papa snapped and charged at Tad. I had never seen Papa get so angry before. Lydia and Jane were pulling Papa's hands off of Tad's throat. It took a lot of effort but eventually he let go. He took a step back clenched his fist and punched Tad hard in the face, knocking him to the ground. Jane shrieked and went to rush to Tads side when Lydia caught her waist and held her back. She was crying, Lydia was crying, Tad was clutching his right eye and Papa was shaking with fury.

"I love her." He said.

"Love?" He laughed sarcastically. "If you truly loved her you would want what's best for her."

"I could say the same thing to you." Tad said standing up, his fists were clenched at his sides, his eye starting to swell.

"You think you're the best for her?" Papa shouted. "A bastard horse boy with no claims, no money and no family history?"

"Papa please!" Jane begged as Tad's anger faded into sadness and he looked at the ground. Papa stepped up to him until he was inches from his face.

"I know what's best for my daughter and that sure as hell is not you." He whispered causing all three of us to shiver. Papa turned and scowled at us. "Out!" He ordered and we all jumped and scurried out. Jane took a little coaxing from Lydia but eventually she was led out.

"I'm not sorry! I still love her! Whether I am good enough for her or not, we love each other and there is nothing that you or anyone else can do!" Tad said from behind us. We all stopped walking and watched Papa clench up again.

"We'll see." He said and shook his head. "I raised you as my son and this is how you repay me?" He spat at Tad's feet and then pushed us out of the barn.

He sent us straight to bed once we entered the castle. Momma looked from Jane's crying face to Lydia's and my worried expression and to Papa's furious one.

"What on earth…Where have you been?" She asked catching us on the way up to our suite.

"It's a long story Mary." Papa sighed. "But our brilliant daughters don't seem to be as brilliant as we thought they were." Lydia and I looked at Papa hurt but his gaze never left Jane's tear stained face. Momma looked at us worried. She touched Jane's face and she lifted her eyes to meet Momma's. They had a silent conversation with only their eyes and Momma sighed.

"To bed with you. And if I catch you out of bed there will be further punishment." Papa snapped. Momma let go of Jane's face and the three of us headed up the staircase to the west tower where all guests were kept. As we headed up the stairs we heard Momma ask Papa what happened.

Our suite held Momma and Papa's room, a sitting room and then an extra bedroom with one giant bed where the three of us would sleep. The fireplace was going and our nightgowns were laid out for us. Lydia and I helped undress Jane who was sobbing and then we helped put her nightgown on and tucked her into bed before helping each other unlace our dresses. Jane sobbed the whole time we got dressed for bed, while we got settled in bed and for about an hour afterwards. Lydia and I lay on either side of her and at one point Jane's whole body started to shake with silent sobs. I snuggled close to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her as Lydia did the same thing. After a few moments she stopped shaking and started breathing normally and then she fell asleep, breathing softly into my hair.

The next morning we woke to the sound of a knock on the door. Jane rubbed her swollen eyes and Lydia yawned. Momma opened the door and smiled slightly at us.

"You're still asleep?" She said shocked. "I guess after last nights commotion you would be extra tired." She sat on the edge of the bed and I sat up.

"What time is it?" I asked wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"It's almost lunchtime." She said. "Their about to serve it in the serving hall."

"I'm not hungry." Jane said covering her face with the blankets.

"I'm not very hungry either." Lydia added. Momma looked at her two oldest children and then her sad eyes landed on mine.

"And you?" I looked at my sisters and felt the grumble in my stomach but the urge to side with them was stronger than my hunger. I shook my head and she sighed. "Very well." She stood up and walked to the door. "You must awaken anyways. Your father has requested our presence at the games once he returns."

"The games?" I asked.

"The jousting match." Lydia said as Jane asked "Where is Papa?"

"He's at a meeting with the king."

"He's meeting the king!" My eyes went wide as fascination and jealousy filled my stomach.

"He said something about making a deal with him. I think it has something to do with our stallion."

"He's going to sell the stallion?" Lydia said.

"But that's Tad's horse." I said. Jane inhaled deeply and I could feel her shudder with sobs.

"I don't know what's happening. That is all I know." She sighed. "He is very cross so it would be best if you got dressed and came down for something to eat. It's going to be a long day." She said before closing the door.

Two servant girls were sent in and dressed us quickly. Jane wore her yellow dress that had long sleeves and a tight bodice. Her hair was up in a black hair net and she wrapped a black shawl around her shoulders. Lydia wore a dark blue dress with long sleeves that were trimmed with white lace and had a white sash around the middle. Her hair was also up in a braided bun and black hair net. I was dressed in green. Another dark green dress with a gold sash and my hair was curled with a gold ribbon in my hair. Lydia wore a dark blue coat matching my dark green coat that buttoned at the navel. We both wore white gloves and black riding boots so our feet wouldn't get cold or wet from the snow.

Momma sent Jane up to get her coat before we headed to games and she took as long as she possibly could. She made Momma wait so long that Momma was furious by the time she returned. Jane said nothing just stared at the floor and followed us out to the arena.

Papa met us at the entrance and gave us a nod. He said nothing to any of us just led us to our seats, the second row off to the kings right. The king sat magnificently in his high back wooden chair. He smiled brightly and clapped his cousin, the man on his left who was a meaner version of the king, on the shoulder. He laughed with the dark man beside him as his cousin cringed and rubbed his head.

The king was dressed in a dark purple tunic with golden leggings and a long purple robe that was lined with white fur and sat on his shoulders. He wore his gold crown proudly on his head and smiled with perfect white teeth. Once the stands were filled he stood, held up his cup of wine and announced the start of the games.

We watched the knights from all over the country joust. We cheered when they got knocked off their horses and cringed when blood was present. The crowd was addictive and encouraged feelings in me that wouldn't normally be present. I watched with wonder as the big strong men rode the horses at top speed towards each other aiming long pieces of wood at their opponents and closed my eyes at the sounds of the wood meeting the steel.

Then all of a sudden Lord Jesse De Silva, the dark man who always sat at the king's right, was led out on Tad's stallion and Tad was the one pulling the reins. Jane sat up when Lydia gently elbowed her in the side and Papa inhaled deeply. His opponent was Lord York. Both men were led to the front of the king where they would bow their heads and offer the fight in his honour. Lord York kissed a flower as he passed and stopped in front of Jane. He offered the flower to her and she just stared back at him as if she weren't actually seeing him. Momma hissed her name and she reached out and took the red rose, nodding quickly and studying it in her lap. I looked up at Tad and he was scowling at the crowd in front of him. A sharp pain shot through my heart as I thought of what I had witnessed last night. The reason he thought I was adorable was because he was in love with Jane and not me. He never loved me and he never would because Jane was older and pretty and smarter and I was just silly baby Lizzie who had so much to learn.

As the two men kicked the horses into a gallop I watched as our young black stallion race towards the other white horse and watched as both men missed each other's shields. We did not cheer or cry out with angst.

"That horse of yours is a wonder." The King called out to Papa. Papa smiled and nodded.

"You mean that horse of yours Your Majesty." The King smiled at him and raised his cup.

"I look forward to all the rewards our arrangement will bring." He said with a large smile and without breaking eye contact.

"As do I." Papa bowed again and turned back to watch Lord York knock the king's right hand right off the stallion. Tad raced over and collected the horse while others tended to the man. He stood up laughing and bowed to the crowd.

"You sold his horse?" Jane asked Papa. He didn't look at her or even acknowledge that she spoke. He just inhaled and clapped.

"Later Jane." Momma hissed. "This is not that place or the time." Jane blinked at Papa and Momma and then shook her head.

"What's next? Are you going to sell me to the highest bidder as well?"

"Don't be foolish Jane." Momma whispered furiously.

"Whatever you think you're accomplishing by selling his horse your wrong! You cant stop love like ours. No matter how many things your try to take away from him we will always be together. You think a horse matters to him as much as I do?" She snapped and Papa finally looked at her, along with the ten closest people around us.

"Jane please!" Momma begged.

"Nothing matters to him as much as I do. You can sell everything he owns. Take away everything he's worked for and he'll still be happy as long as he's with me. There's nothing you can do." She said through tears. The longer Papa remained silent and watched her the more she started to shake. "There's nothing…" She said with a violent shake.

"I think you've underestimated the man's love for horses, particularly that one." Papa said nodding to Tad who was whispering to the stallion. "He loves that horse and would do anything for it. He's raised it for the past four years. He'd go wherever that horse went." Papa then turned back to her and let the words sink in.

"N-n-no!" Jane inhaled deeply and shook her head. Papa gave a small smile and turned back to the games. "You cant do this!" she said louder causing more people to look over.

"Jane stop it!" Momma hissed.

"People are watching." Lydia said looking around.

"I don't care! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" She stood up and shrieked. Papa didn't even blink as the whole arena looked in our direction.

"Lydia remove your sister back to her room please." Papa said. Lydia jumped up and practically dragged Jane from the arena. "I'm sorry your majesty. The games get to her sometimes."

"A very a passionate girl! It's refreshing to see such feistiness for the games." The King nodded but there was something in his face that let me know that he knew what was going on in our family. I glanced over at Tad and he tightened the saddle onto the horse and looked as if he hadn't even noticed the commotion with his so called love.

I stayed with Momma and Papa and watched the rest of the games without actually seeing what happened. Between the cold and the commotion I was numb to everything around me. When the games were over Papa decided that it was time to leave.

Jane hid in the room until the carriage was ready. She never spoke and she walked meters behind us all the way through the castle. Papa and Momma exchanged small talk but I could tell he was upset but the way he clenched and unclenched his fingers. And she kept fidgeting with my coat collar and biting her bottom lip. It was like they were anticipating a huge storm.

As we walked into the bright December sun we spotted our carriage, short one horse and one driver. I heard Jane stop walking and I turned to her. I reached out my hand and she froze.

"Where's Tad?" Lydia asked. When Papa opened the door for Momma Lydia said, "Oh no," quietly. Jane stood frozen in place.

"No." She whispered and shook her head. I went to her side and gently grabbed her arm.

"It's gong to be ok Jane." I whispered. "Come on."

"I cant leave without him." She said staring at the carriage. "I'm not leaving without him."

"If you stay here you'll only be in more trouble."

"I don't care Lizzie." She said pulling away.

"Jane please! I need you." She tore her eyes away from the carriage and stared at me. "Please Jane. Come home for me. Once your home we can talk to Papa about bring Tad back. Maybe give him some time. You know how he always gives in once he is no longer angry."

"This is different Lizzie. He is furious." She said. I heard Momma call our names and I sighed.

"You don't know what could happen though. He could be doing this just to scare you." I said with a fake smile. She studied my face, her blue eyes red and puffy, and sighed.

"Ok." She said grasping my hand tightly. Together we walked towards the carriage. Papa helped me in and then turned to Jane. They exchanged a glance and he walked away, climbing up onto the drivers seat, without offering his hand to help her into the carriage. I heard Momma gasp and Lydia's eyes went wide as Jane stood at the step dumb founded. Papa was never rude. I had never seen this side to him before. Jane glanced back at the castle and I was ready to chase after her if she started running. But she took one deep breath and then climbed into the carriage shutting the door behind her.

Two weeks later and it was Christmas. It came with such a rush that I couldn't believe it. I woke up Christmas morning and Lydia smiled at me.

"You slept later than me." She said.

"I must've been more tired than you." I said wiping my eyes.

"Silly you forgot what day it is today, didn't you?" I blinked at her and then my eyes went wide.

"It's Christmas!" I shouted and we jumped out of bed. Since we returned home the house was so solum it was as if Christmas had already come and gone. Jane wasn't speaking to anyone. Papa stayed locked up in his room and Momma seemed to be crying a lot. Papa had made us sleep in our own rooms and for the first week we slept beside Jane and held her as she cried herself to sleep. At the end of the week she told us to go back to our room and that she wasn't going to cry anymore. For the first couple of days her eyes were puffy but day by day they shrunk back to normal.

As we raced to get ready in our Christmas day outfits we heard the front gates open and a parade of people came through the gates. There was a large black carriage with gold trimmings and the driver had a red hat with a blue and green feather. There were two knights at the head of the parade and two knights at the rear.

"Who do you think it is?" I asked Lydia and she shrugged.

"Who's sigil is a clover?" She asked with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

"Someone Irish?" I blinked at her and she laughed.

"Come on lets go find out."

We struggled through the hour long process of Sissy brushing, braiding and pinning up our hair. She even took the time to put little pieces of Holly in our buns. When she finally dismissed us we raced out of our room and looked down at the grand hall below.

The long table had been set up and fresh hay had been laid. We watched as servants rushed around the table decorating it with holly and candles. We could smell the chicken cooking in the kitchen and the smell of hot cakes and apple pie made our stomachs grumble.

"You're looking marvelous Joan." Momma's voice floated through the hall and she appeared beside a short red headed woman who was very pregnant. The woman snorted and rubbed her stomach.

"I looked like a swallowed a sack of potatoes." She complained. A tall boy raced past her chasing one of the barn cats. She reached out and grabbed his collar so quickly I wasn't sure what happened.

"No running around! We are guests here." She scolded the boy who was no older than I was. He bowed his head, his long dark hair covering his face and apologized to Momma. She laughed and waved it off.

"Come now it's Christmas and we will be family soon." She said with a false merriment.

"Yes isn't it wonderful! I couldn't believe it when I heard. My baby brother had finally found a woman that he wanted to marry. And I was doubly shocked to find out it was your daughter." Lydia and I exchanged looks of shock.

"Yes well," Momma sighed. "She's being very stubborn and I'm afraid that it wont be such a joyous occasion for her as it should be. I mean she will find no better husband and your brother is such a handsome man that she should be thrilled. Any girl would be." Joan nodded and then smiled as she reached for a slice of cheese on the table.

"But Mary you know as well as I do that at 15 you don't think of stuff like that. You and I both married men that we didn't love. You grew to love yours and I'm still learning." Joan said rubbing her stomach. "It's not easy being a woman. You feel like cattle being sold to the highest bidder."

"That's what she told me when we told her last week."

"She's only just found out? I thought it was arranged right after the coronation?"

"Yes but I didn't have the heart to tell her." Momma frowned and studied the piece of bread in her hands. "She's still my daughter and to see her so heartbroken…over a stable boy none the less." She sighed and shook her head. "But this wedding will give us something to look forward to, bring our moods up."

"Yes it will!" They clinked glasses and Joan laughed. "Your grandchildren will be my nieces and nephews." The women erupted in laughter and Lydia and I quietly went back into our bedroom. We went down our own staircase into Jane's room, knocking furiously on the solid oak door.

"Would you two stop hammering at the door. I almost poked her eyes out." Sissy said when she opened the door. Jane was sitting at the window. She was wearing a beautiful red dress, with gold trimmings and gold sash. The dress had long red lace sleeves that came off her shoulders and the bodice was so tight that her breasts looked as if they had grown three sizes. Her dark hair was pulled back hallway with a headband made of red rubies and her hair was in loose curls. Her cheeks were red and the tops of her eyes were traced with black charcoal. Her lips were dyed dark red and she blinked her dark eyelashes at us with amusement.

"Happy Christmas." She said and we stood with our mouths open.

"Jane!" Lydia said with shock.

"You look beautiful!" I said smiling brightly at her. She blushed and smiled at us. It was the first time she smiled in weeks.

"Are you being truthful?" she stood up and twirled. The skirt flowed as if it were in water and she barely made a sound when she walked.

"Your breasts are huge." Lydia said reaching out and poking her left breast. Jane laughed and turned away.

"That's the point." She smirked. "They want to send me away, well then I'm going out with a bang."

"Why didn't you tell us Jane?" I frowned sitting on the edge of her bed. She blinked at me and sighed.

"Oh Lizzie." She wrapped her arm around me. "Don't you worry I have a plan. And if it fails I'll only be a short distance away."

"It's like a four hour carriage ride away." Lydia said and Jane glared at her. "Uh I mean yes, just a short ride and we'll be there."

"Besides I wont be married for months. There's tons of mischief I can get into by that point." She smirked at Lydia and Lydia raised her eyebrows.

"I think I might like this new Jane." She said and my stomach turned.

"I want the old Jane." I said clutching my sides and pouting.

"Everyone has to grow up Lizzie. One day you will have to too." She gently grabbed my chin and kissed my lips. The dye rubbed off onto my lips and she showed me how to rub my lips together to spread it out evenly. "Come. Let's go meet my future husband." She said with inhaling deeply, pressing her skirt down and opening the door.

There were more people in the grand hall as we walked down the steps. Jane went first and Lydia and I followed her. As we walked down the steps everyone stopped talking and turned to us. I could hear Momma gasp in the corner and could feel fathers look of disapproval but Jane radiated confidence and this made me smile.

"My my Lady Jane, you look magnificent." Lord York said bowing and kissing her black gloved hand.

"Lord York you are mistaken. I am no lady." She said without breaking eye contact. He blinked at her and Lydia snickered beside Jane.

"Happy Christmas dears." Momma said rushing to us. She kissed Lydia's cheek, then mine and whispered furiously in Jane's ear. "What happened to the dress I picked out?"

"This is the dress. I just made some…adjustments." She smiled at Momma and Momma scowled back.

"Jane go-" Jane kissed Momma's cheek.

"You can't make me change Momma. You're marrying me off remember. I am someone's fiancé now, not your daughter." Momma blinked back at her and shook her head. "Besides your already creating a scene." She smiled at Momma and then strode past her. Lydia and I just blinked at Momma with as much shock.

"Happy Christmas Papa." Jane said bending down to kiss his cheek. He didn't even look at her and even flinched when her lips met his skin. A brief flash of hurt crossed her face and then she shook it off and smiled. "Lord York walk with me?" She said filling a cup to the brim with wine and heading into the solar room. He blinked after her and then followed dutifully. I looked at Papa and Momma. They shared the same look of worry.

"Lizzie," Momma whispered as she fidgeting with my collar. "Follow her but don't let her know you are there."

"You want me to spy on her?"

"She's not in the right state. She could make a bad decision." She sighed and there were tears in her eyes. "If something bad happens you are to come and get me. Do you understand?"

"Yes Momma." I nodded and went out the garden entrance. I walked up the solar stairs and sat in Papa's office. I stood close to stair case and listened as they traveled through the solar into Momma and Papa's sitting room. So I followed quietly, lifting my dress and crawling along the cold wooden floor so that I wouldn't make a sound. I froze when a pair of brown eyes met mine from under Papa's bed.

"What are you doing in here?" I whispered furiously to the boy from earlier.

"I'm hiding." He said. "Why are you whispering?" He asked and I shushed him and quietly crept down the window stone staircase. "What are you doing?" He asked following me.

"I'm spying on my sister." I said and stopped and hid behind the corner. I could see Jane and Thomas. She was standing by the window and he was lighting a fire. She sipped her glass of wine and glanced over at me. I jumped back and held my breath. I was worried that she had seen us but then she started talking and I peeked back out into the room. They were talking about the boring tournament at the castle and about getting married.

I was just about to leave when Jane went to pour Thomas another glass of wine and spilt it all over his leggings.

"I'm so sorry." She said and rushed over and got a cloth.

"That's quite alright my dear." He said holding his hand out to take the cloth but she bent down and started wiping it off his lap herself. His breath quickened and he jumped. "I can do it." He exhaled heavily.

"I don't mind." She said softly. She looked up at him as she wiped the wine away and smiled. He coughed and turned away. "Is there a problem?" She asked brushing her hair back.

"Jane, you are very beautiful and I…I…" he looked at her and sighed. "I cannot wait for the day we are married."

"Then why wait?" She said pushing her chest out. A nervous giggle rose in my chest and the boy raised his eyebrows.

"Jane," Thomas sighed. "We have to wait. I will not taken your innocence and ruin your reputation."

"What is this innocence you speak of?" She said biting her lip. Thomas smirked and shook his head.

"You're quite the mischievous one. But I wont fall for your tricks. I've seen your type many times before." He said turning away from her. She sat back defeated for a second and then smiled. She stood up and walked to him.

"What type would that be?"

"The type that likes to cause her parents heart ache." He said and she stepped back.

"I-I-I never even thought of my parents."

"Oh no?" He moved closer to her and she stumbled backwards. "Well then lets not wait." He said calling her bluff. She stuttered and kept walking backwards. He pressed her up against the wall and placed both hands on her waist. He lowered his face to hers and kissed her gently. After a moment her eyes fluttered closed and she wrapped her arms around his neck. It looked like her knees were going to give out. His hands travelled from her waist to her neck and back to her waist. When he lifted her skirts she inhaled sharply. "Problem?" He asked her and she blinked at him. She shook her head and he smiled at her. He pulled up her skirts and exposed her bare legs. "No petticoats?"

"Easier access." She swallowed her nerves and smiled. He blinked down at her and shook his head.

"You are a mystery Jane Bennet." He let go of her skirts and kissed her one last time. When he broke the kiss he smiled at her and strode out of the room.

"Just when it was getting good." The boy said. I scowled at him and he raced up the stairs. I watched Jane slump down to the floor and start crying. I considered if I should go to her or not.

"You can come out Lizzie." She said her head resting against the wall and her eyes were closed. The charcoal was running down her cheeks. I raced to her side and wiped it away with my handkerchief.

"Don't cry Jane." I said with a small smile.

"I don't want to marry him." She said with a sigh.

"But it looked as if you do want to marry him." I said looking back at the stairs.

"I wanted him to not want me anymore." She said.

"That's impossible Jane!" I said with a frown.

"No its not. Papa doesn't want me. Tad didn't want me. It's possible." A tear rolled down from her closed eye.

"Jane they both want you in their lives. They just don't want each other in their lives. You are so precious to Papa that he only wants whats best for you even if you don't agree that it's the best for you. He loves you he just knows that you hate him right now and that hurts his heart. You are a wonderful good person Jane." She opened her eyes and smiled at me. She pulled me into her lap and wrapped her arms around me.

"What would I do without you Lizzie?" She asked kissing my cheek. I sat in my sister's arms and felt a pain of sadness. What was I going to do without her?


	4. Chapter 4

**Eleven**

I had my eleventh birthday on the 15th of June and Jane's wedding was scheduled for the 16th of June. My birthday was spent bumping along the dirt road heading for York. It was an exciting event but I felt sadness in my heart. There had been no mention or well wishes given to be for my birthday. I stared at the trees and fields that passed by and sighed.

"What's wrong my dear?" Momma asked, leaning across to grab my hand. I looked at her and wondered how she could have forgotten my birthday. Was I that unimportant? Was I that forgettable?

"She's probably just sad that Jane's leaving us." Lydia said staring out the window. Jane's head dropped to her chest and she studied her white gloved hands.

"It'll be alright darling. She wont be too far away." Momma said with a smile. I smiled slightly and looked back out the window.

"Besides, you never know what the future has to hold." Papa added. He was barely speaking these days and when he did it shocked us. We all looked at him, even Jane who had vowed she would never speak to him again.

"What do you mean Papa?" Lydia asked. Momma's face tightened and she looked out the window.

"I meant what I said. God is full of mysterious ways. Each one of us has a plan set before we are even born. Who knows what is in store for each of us." He said with a smile.

"Oh Papa." I sighed with a smile. "You're always full of riddles."

"It's not a riddle Lizzie. It's a known fact." He winked and I shook my head. I looked out the window again.

It took majority of the day to get there. We arrived just as the sun was starting to fall and we were starving. We entered through the city gates without a problem. Papa passed a satchel of coin to the gatekeeper and we continued on through the winding streets. They were quiet wooden houses, so close together it was as if they were one long house that matched the length of the street. There were children playing in the streets, mother's beating their laundry and men laughing. As our carriage passed they turned and waved to us.

"Why do they wave to us if they do not know us?" I asked Papa as I waved back to a small girl. She was covered in dirt from head to toe. Her feet were bare and her dress was old and torn. But she smiled happily and jumped up and down with excitement.

"They are excited for the wedding." He said looking at Jane. "A nobel wedding brings the promise of wealth and change to their small lives."

"Also they get a holiday." Lydia added with her nose in the air.

"Do you not think it fair that these poor people should be allowed a rest from their duties? Even if it is for only a day?" Jane said with a shocked voice.

"I think it is ridiculous that because you're marrying a man you don't love they get to celebrate." She snapped and Jane's head fell. The carriage fell into its awkward silence again and Momma sighed.

"Let's try to be positive. Thomas is a good man and he is very fond of you." Momma smiled. Jane nodded and touched the locket that hung on her neck. It was a silver pendant with a four leafed clover on the front. Inside was a picture of Thomas. Momma was shocked when she showed us, claiming that he must've given his right leg to pay for that. Since his visit in December he had written to Jane often and even come and visited us during the Spring festival last month. During his stay they often walked through the front gardens, where there were plenty of eyes watching, and sat under the trees talking for hours. Jane said she wasn't in love with him but she was starting to enjoy his company.

As we watched the town pass by we came to bride over a small river. Papa said its name was the River Ouse. It was always running faster than its brother the River Foss which ran on the other side of the city. We watched as people floated down the river in fishing boats. Once on the other side of the bridge we turned right and the castle came into the view. Well a tall tower and the high stone walls of the castle came into view. I pointed excitedly and Jane frowned.

"Is that round tower the castle?" Lydia asked.

"That is Clifford's Tower. It is the town gaol." I exchanged glances with Lydia. "It was named that after Sir Roger Clifford."

"Who's that?" I asked.

"He was the leader of the rebellion in the mid 1300s. Also he was the first man hung their." Papa smiled as he watched our reactions.

"That's horrible!" I said.

"Do you think it is haunted?" Lydia's eyes were white with excitement. Jane stared with worry as we approached the castle gates.

"They say that men of the rebellion often roam the halls, cutting the throats of the soldiers who man the walls." Papa said with a scary hushed voice.

"That's enough. Lizzie's going to get nightmares." Momma said, just as the fear started to bubble into a scream. I hated ghost stories. I wasn't afraid of many things, but I was terrified of ghosts.

"The tower is actually shaped like a clover." He said with a smile.

"Isn't that Thomas's sigil?" I asked.

"You will call him Lord York and yes it is." Momma corrected.

"Of course it is." Lydia said with sarcasm. Jane smiled slightly at her and then turned back to the window.

"Blood is the only thing that matters Lydia." She whispered and the carriage went silent again.

We rode up to the tall castle gates, on the other side of the moat, and they opened immediately. We rode through the gate and our excited smiles faded. We looked around at the wooden buildings and the trampled green grass and frowned.

"It's so…" Momma started.

"Spacious." Jane added.

"Brown." Said Lydia.

"Boring." I added and they all laughed. "Where is the castle."

"This is a war compound Lizzie. Its soul purpose is for defence not for show."

"Defence from what? We haven't had a war in hundreds of years." Lydia said.

"That is not true Lydia. We just haven't had a big enough war to teach you about." Papa corrected.

"Either way its been a while since we've fought. Doesn't he think the place could use some…colour?" She added.

"Jane is the colour." Momma added.

"No Jane is the money." Jane snipped.

"Now Jane…" Mother started but Jane sighed.

"I know mother. Be positive." She shook her head as the footman opened the door. "This place is so dull it sucks all cheer from my face." She mumbled. Papa climbed out of the carriage and then Momma followed. Lydia and I gave Jane's hand a squeeze before we both exited the carriage. Thomas and all his staff, which was about 10 people, were standing outside of the manor. It was a tall building made of stone. The only one in this courtyard made of stone. But it was small, around the same size as our home. It had large windows and a wooden roof. Aunt kitty's house was nicer than this and Uncle James was an earl.

"Welcome." Thomas said. He strode to meet us halfway and shook hands with my father. He had cut his hair and trimmed his beard. His green eyes sparkled with excitement and nervousness. He kissed mother's cheek and then smiled brightly at us. "My dears." He said kissing each of our hands. "So good to see you again.

"Thank you for having us Thom-ugh Lord York. You have a beautiful home." I lied. Lydia looked away towards the Tower, trying to hide her smile.

"Ah thank you Elizabeth but you needn't lie. I know this place is sore on the eyes."

"You can say that again." Lydia mumbled and Momma glared at her. Thomas smiled and shook his head.

"I'd love for you to sit with my councilmen Lydia. You can tell them all how this town needs a new face."

"I'd be honoured." Lydia blushed and Thomas then turned to Jane.

"My Lady. Welcome." Was all he seemed to be able to say. Jane blushed and smiled.

"It's lovely." She said looking towards the north gate. The grass was trampled, there were droppings everywhere and the armory was falling apart. "Well it has the potential to be lovely." She smiled and he let out a heart filled laugh.

"At least it smells delicious." I said noticing the smell of cakes on the air.

"You must be starving. I've arranged for dinner to be served in the dinning hall when you are ready." He said with a smile. He placed his hands behind his back and clenched them nervously. "I have arranged for you and your youngest daughters to sleep in the apartments up stairs. There aren't very roomy but their clean and warm. I hope this is alright." He said nervously.

"Of course." Said Papa. "All I need is a nice drink and a good bed and I happy as can be." Momma rolled her eyes. Jane frowned behind and then smiled when he turned to her.

"The guest house is entirely yours my lady." He said with a bright smile. "It's just recently be renovated. It has a sitting room, bathing room, bedroom and dressing room. There's also a little side garden but I wouldn't go in there, it hasn't been tended to in years." He blushed and Lydia sniggered. Jane smiled and nodded.

"Thank you. You are very kind." She blushed.

"I'll leave you to get settled in. Dinner will be ready in an hour." He whispered something to a tall old man and three boys raced to the carriage to get the lugagge. We all went our separate ways. Once entering the manor. Jane followed her handmaid through the sitting room and out a garden door that had a path to her apartments. Lydia and I followed Momma and Papa up the grand stair case that was 20 steps made of stone. Our apartment was at the top of the steps. Momma and Papa's was to the right and Thomas's was to the left. We remembered it by the doors. We had one solid oak door. Momma and Papa had two solid oak doors and Thomas had two solid oak doors with a clover on the front.

Lydia opened the door and we stepped into the dimly lit room. There were two little chairs in front of the fireplace that the maid rushed over to light. There was a door to our bedchamber where a large bed was decorated with a yellow cover. The other door led to the dressing room where a large looking glass hung on the wall and a cushioned sitting table sat in the middle. There were two windows, one in the sitting room and one in the bed chamber. It was nothing like back home.

"I cant even open this." Lydia said fighting with the iron latch that kept the glass windows shut.

"The maid just informed me that they don't open." Sissy said appearing behind us with our gowns.

"The windows don't open?" I asked with shock.

"How…am…I…supposed…to…breath?" Lydia said pushing now on the window. I laughed when she slipped on the curtain and fell on the floor. She glared at me and I covered my mouth to hide the smile.

"Stop being dramatic Lydia." Sissy scolded. "Come and get dressed." Sissy laid out our best dresses, mine green and Lydia's pink. And tied our hair back in matching styles. Both were in a bun with a braid across the top.

"Can't you learn new ways of doing our hair." Lydia complained while studying it in the looking glass. "I'm not a child anymore." Sissy put her hands on her hips and gave a shocked amused expression.

"She has her monthly bleed one time and suddenly she's a lady." She jested. I snickered and Lydia punched my arm.

"I'm not a lady I'm just…tired of these hairstyles." Lydia said blushing.

"Well I'll just ask around and see what hairstyles are popular shall I?" Sissy asked sarcastically.

"I meant no offence Sissy." Lydia smiled when she realized Sissy's feelings were hurt. "You know I am ever so fond of you." Sissy rolled her eyes.

"Get going both of you before you miss dinner." She said patting our bottoms as we walked from the room.

Dinner was full of laughs, awkward interactions between Jane and Papa and Thomas and delicious food. York's one saving grace was the food. We were served a light salad with onion soup, roasted chicken, baked potatoes, peas, carrots and for desert there was iced cream and butter tarts. By the end of dinner my stomach was so full I felt nauseous and we were all yawning from the days journey. We bid our parents goodnight, thanked Thomas for the lovely meal and went to bed. When we opened the bedroom door there was a note on the bed.

"It's for you." Lydia said passing it to me and then heading into the dressing room. I blinked at it. It was Momma's writing.

If you believed that we had forgotten your birthday then you are wrong. Happy birthday my darling daughter. You're present awaits you in the dressing room.  
Momma and Papa.

I blinked at the letter and smiled. I rushed into the dressing room and Lydia smiled brightly as she held up the most beautiful yellow dress I had ever seen.

"Happy birthday." She said. I felt tears in my eyes.

"I thought everyone forgot." I said touching the beautiful gold material. It was soft to touch and shined in the light.

"Don't be silly. We were all there the day you were born and you made it impossible to forget, with all the screaming you did." She smiled and kissed my cheek. "The dress is from Momma and Papa. She knows how much you hate green so she had it made in yellow."

"It's beautiful." I said letting a tear run down my face.

"I got you these." She said giving me a pair of white small heeled shoes. "I know how much you want to grow up and since we have the same size of feet I gave you my heeled shoes for your flat ones." She smiled. It would seem like a silly gift but Lydia never shared anything with me willingly. And even though she said she hated them I knew by the way she looked at them that she liked them. But she also liked to run and heeled shoes would never allow her that luxury.

"Thank you Lydia!" I said throwing my arms around her.

"Jane got you these." She said giving me a small black box. Inside was my first piece of jewelry. A string of pink pearls. I blinked at them with wonder.

"How did she afford these?"

"It's a gift from both her and Thomas." She smiled. "He thinks of us as sisters already I guess." She laughed and shrugged.

"I just want to put all of these things on right away." I said with excitement.

"They're for the wedding." Sissy said appearing behind us. She kissed my cheek and wished me happy birthday. "I wanted to make you a cake but since you ate so much at dinner I'll have it made for you when we return home in two days." I smiled and thanked her but then felt the smile fall from my face. In two days we would return home without Jane. Jane was forever going to be stuck in this boring and dreary place. I looked at Lydia and her face held the same pain. She shook her head, pushing away her tears and smiled.

"There's one more gift." She turned and took a parcel wrapped in brown paper with a white ribbon. On the front was a messy scrawl of: My dearest Lizzie. I tore it open and inside was a leather book about horses. It even came with drawings of the horses.

"It's from Tad." I said with shock. It felt as if years had gone by since I had seen him.

"I told Momma that it was from Charlotte, but I knew he was sending it." She smiled at me. "He knows how fond you were of…the horses." She smiled at me.

"I didn't know he could draw." I said sitting down and flipping the pages.

"He can't." She sighed. "But Jane can. She drew them while he lived with us. See this one has him in it." Lydia flipped to a page with Tad's prized stallion and his strong face came back into my memory. I stared at his sparkling eyes and his strong lips and felt a pain in my chest.

"I miss him." I said sadly.

"We all do." She admitted with a sigh. "And clearly he misses us."

"Do you write to him often?" I asked and she shrugged.

"Once a month. But when I told him of Jane's marriage he stopped writing. This is the first that I have heard from him since March." She said sadly.

"Do you think he stopped loving us?" I asked feeling sad.

"He sent you a birthday gift about horses. That says a lot when it comes to Tad." She smiled and brushed the stray hairs from my face. I smiled and looked at the drawings.

"Do you think he stopped loving Jane?" I asked as Sissy undid Lydia's dress. She looked down at the book and shrugged.

"I think it's too painful for him to think about her." Sissy added. "He loved her a great deal and to have things like those pictures would only crush his poor heart more." I blinked at the pictures and a tear fell, smudging a bit of the old charcoal.

"Don't cry on it now!" Sissy jumped. "You'll ruin it." She pulled it away and gently placed it on the table.

"Come Lizzie. Don't cry. Like Papa said. You never know what the future holds." She kissed my cheek again and smiled. It was so out of character for Lydia to be kind and yet it was strangely comforting as well.

In the middle of the night I woke up in sweat. I had a nightmare about Jane and couldn't get back to sleep. After I tossed and turned for half an hour Lydia said, "Want to go and see if Jane's awake?" I jumped when she spoke, not knowing that she was awake and then nodded yes.

Quietly we snuck past a snoring Sissy, who slept in front of the fireplace. We crept down the grand staircase and through the sitting room doors. We jumped when the garden door creaked loudly, our hearts beating loudly and when no one came we continued through the dark garden and into Jane's guest house. She was awake, sitting in front of the window, clutching her knees to her chest. She didn't even hear us enter.

"My God! You gave me a fright." She said when Lydia tapped her arm. Her hair was down to her bottom and her blue eyes were red and tired.

"Can't sleep?" Lydia asked. And she shook her head. "Neither can we."

"Can we sleep with you?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"Like old times." She said and we all raced into her bed, Jane in the middle Lydia and I on the outsides. She always slept in the middle because she was the biggest and if we needed to relieve ourselves it was easier to get out of bed. We lay in bed for hours talking about our fondest memories of childhood. We fell asleep just as the sun was coming up.

"My God! You two girls have put this entire house into a frenzy!" Momma shouted, startling the three of us awake. "What are you doing in here."

"We wanted to see Jane." I said.

"Jane is late getting dressed because we were searching for you! Do you not know that today is a very important day for our family?" She screeched. She snorted like a disgruntled horse and then turned to the handmaid. She started instructing her on Jane's preparations. When she turned back to us she gave us a look of annoyance. "Get up! You still have to get ready! If we hadn't been looking for you we'd be leaving by now."

"Why would you not think that they were here? Do you know us at all?" Jane snapped. Momma stepped back as if Jane had slapped her. Jane shook her head kissed each of us and slammed the dressing door open, disappearing inside. Momma blinked at the door while Lydia and I snuck past her and up to our rooms. Here was got the exact same lecture from Sissy only she added things about Papa taking her head or worse her job.

An hour later we were all dressed. Lydia wore a light green dress with a matching surcoat that had short sleeves and buttoned in the middle. I wore my beautiful yellow dress that tied at the back, my pearls which looked magnificent in the sun and my beautiful white shoes. As it was custom, because Thomas's family was of higher status, they would lead the procession through the town to the Abbey Of St. Mary. He left before Jane walked out of the guest house.

When she entered into the sun we all gasped. She looked magnificent. Her hair was pined back with a braid at the top of her head, another braid starting from behind her ear and ending at the other ear and the rest of her long dark hair was tucked into a golden hairnet that held dark blue saffires in it. Her dress was made of golden satin and her surcoat was made of the palest blue silk that opened at the front and exposed the dress underneath. It had bell sleeves and a tight bodice that exposed a decent amount of cleavage and sat just above her shoulders. She wore the silver pendant around her neck and a veil sat snugly on her forehead. The silver bad rested on her forehead and the two pieces of white lace fell over her hair. She walked up to Papa and Momma, who was crying and smiled slightly.

"You look beautiful." Momma said. Papa, who also looked as if he might cry nodded at her. He lowered the veil over her face and got into the carriage. Jane, Lydia and I rode in our own special carriage. It was made for Jane with white leather covering and red velvet seats. It was the bridal carriage, one of Jane's many gifts from Thomas.

The ride to the church was quiet. We looked out the open windows and smiled at the peasants who shouted well wishes at Jane. They were excited about her joining their town. Maybe they hoped Jane would change this town and make it a better place to live. I studied my silent sister as she squeezed her hands tightly together. Out of the three of us if anyone would make a difference in the world it would be her.

When we got to the cathedral the crowd was enormous. They all turned and cheered when they saw our carriage. We watched as Momma and Papa strode into the church. The footman opened the door and Lydia and I got out of the carriage. We smiled and nodded, like ladies, at the townspeople. Jane slowly emerged from the carriage and everyone cheered.

"God bless you my lady." A man shouted throwing flowers on the ground. Lydia and I followed Jane into the church, waiting while she stopped to touch the town folks hands. We entered the brightly lit church and I immediately was marveled by the high vaulted ceilings and the stained glass windows. I was so fascinated by the ceiling that I stepped on someone's foot.

"Oh my I am ever so sorry." I said and then blushed a deep red as my eyes met his. "Your majesty." I curtsied so low to the ground I fell over. He let out a chuckle and grabbed my arms.

"I've never had someone fall at my feet before." He teased and I felt my face go purple.

"I'm so sorry for my daughter Your Majesty. She is the clumsiest of the bunch." Momma said in a nervous panic.

"Not at all. She is just a child after all." He said and pinched my cheek. "Now you two follow behind while I walk the young bride down the aisle."

"You grace us with such an honour Your Majesty." Jane said with a curtsy.

"You're father and I are good friends. I couldn't miss this day." He smiled at Jane and then nodded at Papa. It was a tremendous honour for the king to give away any mans daughter, especially a Baron's daughter, but at the same time I could tell Papa that he felt as if he were being robbed of the duty. He inhaled and bowed to the king, gave Jane one last look and then led Momma down the asile to the front row. As they reached the pew the trumpets started and the King offered his arm to Jane. She didn't even shake as she reached for his arm, she never stumbled or fell as she walked up the aisle and she smiled calmly at Thomas when the King placed her hand in his.

"Who give's this woman to this man?"

"I do, Adam McTavish, King of England." The priest nodded and the king and sat beside Papa. Lydia and I stood at Jane's left during the whole ceremony.

After the blessing and the homily about how Jane supposed to respect her husband, never say things that would offend him or do this to upset him, they exchanged their rings.

Thomas said: "I take the Jane Mary Bennet to be my wedded wife, to have to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for pourer, for fair for fouler, in sickness in health, till death do us part, if the holy church will it ordained and there to I pledge my truth." Then he placed the silver ring on her thumb and said "In the name of the father" and then moved it to her index finger "and of the son" and then secured it on her middle finger "and of the holy spirit. Amen."

Lydia handed Jane Thomas's gold ring (which we had custom made with the mixture of the two crests, a swan holding a clover) and she repeated the same vows to him. Once the ring was on his middle finger the priest smiled and said "as God has willed it you may now kiss your bride." Thomas looked at Jane for a brief second and then slowly lifted her veil uncovering her face. A single tear rolled down her cheek but she still smiled as his lips touched hers with the gentlest of kisses. The guests erupted with cheers and well wishes. Thomas and Jane smiled at each other and then turned to the crowd.

The strolled out the church hand in hand. People threw rice so they would never go hungry. People threw coin so they would never go poor. A woman placed her swaddled infant in Jane's arms and wished her many years of fertility. They smiled and shook hands with the crowd and then climbed into Thomas's carriage. The King smiled and waved to the crowd but made no effort to touch them and was guarded by two knights who pushed the crowd back as he walked towards his golden carriage with a giant golden eagle on the top. He climbed in and called to Momma and Papa for them to ride with him. Lydia and I exchanged faces of shock and then climbed into Jane's bridal carriage. We were headed for the guild's hall where the celebration would take place.

We traveled with the crowd and when we passed through the gates the crowd was left behind, wishing that they could be apart. The hall was bigger than Thomas's guest house and Manor together. Inside there were white lilies and red roses everywhere. The tables were along both sides of the room and the head table is where Jane and Thomas and their families would sit. But since the King was present he would sit on Thomas's right and push his family down the table.

A small musician played the lyre while singing the lyrics softly. The meal was an extravagant one. There was so much food we could have fed the whole town. Thomas had, somehow with his lack of funds, served 400 loaves of bread, 300 eggs, 100 lbs of cheese, 2 quarts of oxen, 2 boars heads, 15 chickens, 10 quarts of mutton, countless pigeons and topped it off with plenty wine and ale. When everyone was full and the dancing was about to begin the king decided it was a good time to give gifts. He clapped his hands and two serving boys came in carrying a pie the size of Betsy's iron cauldron.

They placed it on the table and the king handed Thomas the knife. He looked at Jane and she smiled before he plunged the knife into the middle of the pie. He frowned as he pulled the knife out and there was nothing on the knife. He looked at the king about to question it but then the pie began to move. He looked closer and Jane stood up to study it as well. The crowd began to murmur when suddenly the pie burst open and 24 white doves flew out of the crust and into the hall rafters. Jane and Thomas, along with the rest of the guests erupted with laughter and the King smiled proudly of his little joke.

Jane was then presented with a golden chest. It had markings and sigils of all kinds, each one containing a clover, but on the lock was their sigil, the swan holding the clover. He handed her the key and inside were the smallest little outfits I had ever seen. Baby clothes. She blushed as she held them up and the crowd clapped in between raised eyebrows and nudging each other in the ribs.

"My sister and your mother thought it would be helpful. I didn't know they were baby clothes." He said to her quietly. Lydia and I exchanged smiles as his face went red. Jane smiled and touched his hand.

"They're lovely. " She said before kissing his cheek. Her small act of love and respect quieted the crowd down and Thomas was presented with his own gold chest, Jane's dowry. We sat back and watched as he opened the chest and we were shocked when coin fell out.

"My good sir how much is in here?" Thomas asked shocked and forgetting his place.

"Well you see we had agreed on 3000 pounds but you have married my first born daughter and I am expecting you to take very good care of her. She is very important to my wife and I so we through in a couple thousand more."

"About 7000 more." Momma said proudly holding Papa's hand from her chair. Thomas stared at them flabbergasted and Jane was barely breathing. She stood up and walked to their table, the room completely silent. She stopped in front of Papa and they stared at each other for a few moments before she grabbed his hands and kissed them. He wrapped her in a tight hug and kissed her cheek. Lydia and I had to look away so that we would cry.

They exchanged two more gifts, she gave him a green velvet tunic with gold trimmings, telling him that it would match his eyes perfectly. The she motioned to a boy standing a the back door and he ushered in a beautiful brown stallion.

He gave her a broach made of gold with red rubies in it. He grabbed her hand and kissed it gently. "I know you didn't plan on your life being with me but I hope that you will love me even if it's half of how much you have loved others." She smiled slightly and nodded. He snapped his fingers and a young boy carried out a small round box.

"You have already given me three presents." She said.

"This is more of a promise that though this is not the life you dreamt of, it can be the life you wanted." She lifted the lid and her hand touched her mouth. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and reached into the box. She finally lifted out a small white and brown puppy that had floppy ears. Jane gushed when she saw it and laughed. She laughed so much that she cried.

"They're called Spaniels. I got him straight from Spain." Thomas said proudly.

"You got her a puppy?" the king asked with a unamused expression. "Wont having children keep her busy enough?" He laughed and I frowned.

"It has more meaning than you think it does Your Majesty." Jane said smiling at Thomas.

"Ah one of those couple things." He said taking a large gulp of wine. "Well congratulations on your puppy and may you have many more." He laughed as did the crowd. Thomas blushed but Jane cuddled the puppy happily and kissed his cheek again. "Let the dancing begin!" The King ordered and then the rest of the musicians set up their instruments and started playing as a group.

After the dancing started the night seemed to fly by. Before I knew it Jane and Thomas were leaving and were headed back to the manor. Lydia hugged Jane tightly and said "Are you nervous?" She looked at Thomas for a moment and then smiled.

"Not even the slightest." She said with a wink. I watched this exchange with confusion and both of them laughed when they saw my face.

"Little Lizzie! Thank you for everything." She said and when she let go of me both of us were crying.

"I love you." I sobbed.

"Come now Liz." Lydia said wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"Yes, no crying. We'll see each other in the morning." She pinched my cheek and hugged Momma who sobbed into her veil. Papa wanted to cry but he had to put on a show for his peers.

Charlotte appeared at my side and grabbed my hand. She had been so tired an hour ago that I thought she had left already.

"Lizzie. Would you like to sleep over with me?" She asked with excitement.

"And leave me all along to that huge bed?" Lydia said and then looked thoughtful. "On second hand you should go Lizzie. It sounds like it will be fun." She smiled and I rolled my eyes. After Momma and Papa confirmed I could go and we waved as Thomas and Jane rode back down to the house I set off with Charlotte, Aunt Kitty and Uncle James.

Aunt Kitty went on and on about Jane's dress and the king and how when Jane was walking down the aisle she thought that they were a better suited couple than Jane and Thomas were. "It's such a shame that lineage and family come in the way when people look so beautifully matched together."

"I like Lord York." Charlotte peeped.

"I think he's a splendid young man, but he's not as good looking as our Jane."

"The king's too arrogant for Jane." I said watching the brightly lit houses pass by. We reached the inn where Aunt kitty was staying just as she was scolding me about treason and how I had to be careful who I was trusting with my opinions.

Charlotte rolled her eyes and raced me up the stairs in her bed. Her bed was smaller and the room was plainer, but it was cheap and they were only staying for one night so it had to do. Plus all the other places were in use. I stripped down to my smock and crawled into bed with Charlotte. We talked until the candle went out.

Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke to a quiet crying. There was movement and a dim light coming from the hallway. "Charlotte?" I asked feeling the other side of the bed but no one was there. I blinked and rubbed my eyes before I pushed back the covers of the bed. I heard a soft grunt coming from the hallway. Then I heard it again and again and then there was crying and grunting. My stomach was in knots as I walked to the door. Something was telling me not to look but something stronger was telling me that I had to.

I peered through the open door and saw a mans bare bottom flexing and unflexing. I closed my eyes and he gasped and let out a moan. I gagged when I heard him panting and almost raced back to the bed, but then I heard a little sniffle and I looked back.

"Now remember what I said. No one will believe you, do you hear?" He pulled his pants off the floor and moved so I could see his victim. She was lying on her side in a little ball, her dark hair sprawled across her face. He looked down at her and brushed his sweat soaked hair back. "Go back to bed." He spat and then went into Aunt Kitty's room and shut the door. She lay on the floor in a little ball and I thought she was dead.

I opened the door and rushed to her side. I lifted her head and brushed back her hair. She stared at me with blank green eyes, she wasn't seeing. She wasn't feeling. She wasn't even there. I touched her cheek gently and held her tightly in my arms.

"Come on Charlotte. My poor Charlotte." I held my 8 year old cousin in my arms and vowed to protect her for the rest of my life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Eleven**

The next morning was a blur. After leading Charlotte back into the room I noticed she was bleeding. She lay on the floor shivering as I carefully wiped the blood away. She cried into my chest for an hour before she fell asleep, but I could not sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Uncle James's naked backside and my stomach turned.

When I saw Momma in the morning her smile fell and she eyed me suspiciously. "What's happened?" She asked me, then Charlotte and then finally looked to Aunt Kitty.

"There were up giggling long into the night. I think they're just tired." She smiled brightly and touched Charlotte's head. I stared at her with complete shock. How could she pretend that she hadn't known what happened? Did she not know?

Momma touched my forehead and raised my face to hers. "Your eyes are swollen. Have you been crying?" She asked and I shook my head quickly. She held my gaze for a minute before kissing my forehead. "You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" I felt Charlotte squeeze my hand and I nodded.

"Yes Momma." I practically whispered. She inhaled deeply and shook her head.

"Momma wait." I grabbed her arm tightly and she looked at me with shock. I let go as if it were on fire and noticed I had been squeezing rather tightly as I watched my handprint appear on her arm. "I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"What is it?" She asked rubbing her arm.

"Would- would Charlotte be able to stay with us for the summer?" I said. I could feel Charlotte tense up and watched Aunt Kitty's head snap towards me.

"The whole summer?" Momma asked.

"You want to take my daughter away from me?" Aunt Kitty asked with a laugh but there was a hint of panic in her voice.

"Of course not." I faked a smile. "It's just…with Jane living here, Lydia will have Jane's old room and you see… I'm so used to having someone sleep next to me…it will be unnerving to sleep alone." I said crossing my arms over my chest and hugging myself tightly.

"Oh my darling." Momma touched my cheek. "You'll have to get used to it someday."

"I suppose it wouldn't be such a bad idea Mary." Aunt Kitty said with a look of sadness on her face. "I remember what it was like losing a sister. It's very lonely." I looked at Charlotte and there was hope in her eyes.

"She has another sister." Momma sighed with exasperation. "And I didn't abandon you for the last time. You never answered my letters."

"If you had sent me letters I would have." Aunt Kitty stuck out her tongue as if she were a small child. Momma laughed. "We'll send a rider to your place to get her summer clothes." Aunt Kitty nodded and touched Charlotte's head.

"Is this something that you would like to do?" She asked Charlotte. Her eyes met mine and she smiled.

"Yes please Momma." She said. And it was settled. Charlotte would stay with us until the summer and once the summer was over I would think of a new plan to keep her far away from my uncle as possible.

If we thought leaving Jane behind was hard, the ride home was even worse. Momma cried the whole way and none of us spoke. Every time Papa said she would be all right, or tried to comfort Momma she'd break into sobs. "My baby." She would say while tears raced down her cheeks. By the time we arrived home we were exhausted just from listening to her.

When we pulled up to the gates Charlotte squeezed my hand and I smiled at her. The sun was setting and the kitchen had smoke pouring from the chimney. The smell of roasted chicken and fresh bread filled in the air. Sir John and the stable boys met us at the gate and quickly grabbed our luggage from the carriage. Momma was too tired for dinner so we were served in our rooms after getting dressed for bed. Charlotte and I lay side by side and stared at the roof. Neither one of us spoke. We just lay there and listened to the wind flow through the field below.

Soon Charlotte's breathing changed from short quick breaths to long deep ones. I fell asleep with her clutching tightly to my hand. That night I tossed and turned. I replayed the horrible event in my mind over and over. I woke every time I saw Charlotte and I was always covered in sweat.

"Are you alright Lizzie?" Sissy asked appearing at my side with a candle.

"I had a nightmare." I said wiping my face on my sleeve. Sissy touched my cheek and I sighed at the coolness of her skin.

"You've got a fever." She said with a frown. For the first time I noticed all the wrinkles in her eyes and the deep line in her forehead. I became aware that she wasn't as young as I had thought. She had been 16 when she was brought here to care for us, her own child died in childbirth and she was the perfect wet nurse. One day we were sitting around talking about how weird it was that she never flirted with the men or talked of marriage when Jane told us that horrible things happened to her and that's why she was so happy to stay here and care for us. She saw us as her own children. She was a great mother, I thought as I looked into her worried expression. It was nice having two mothers. I pulled the blankets up to my chin and inhaled deeply.

"I'm fine Sissy." I whispered and she shook her head. She disappeared through the great hall door and I stared at the blackness of the great hall, watching the light from her candle fade away. I rolled over and met Charlotte's large green eyes that were full of worry. She blinked at my face, taking in the sweat droplets on my forehead and the cracks in my lips. I smiled as I shut my eyes and gave her hand a tight squeeze.

When I awoke the sun was out and there was a cool breezing blowing on my face. I blinked and rolled over, wincing at how stiff my body was. Charlotte's eye went wide and she squeezed my hand. I smiled at her and she jumped up and raced from the room. I fell asleep again.

The next time I woke it was dark and there was snoring coming from my left. I turned my head and saw the silhouette of Momma sleeping beside me. She looked so peaceful in her white nightgown and her long dark hair in a braid. Her face was calm and worry free. I smiled at her and tried to reach for her hand but my arm was so heavy that they fell across my chest and I couldn't move it. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. I fell asleep again.

The next time I awoke I heard voices. They were hushed but furious. I blinked at the sun coming through the windows and tried to make out what I was hearing.

"It's ridiculous that he would even ask that of you!" someone snapped.

"He's the king! He can ask whatever he wants and we are obligated to do it." Papa's voice. Momma hissed at him to be quiet and they started whispering again. "We could use the money."

"Is the money worth your life?" She said.

"If it means that my wife and my daughters will be taken care of then yes."

"John!" She sighed with frustration. "Stop being an idiot. We're fine."

"You know that the crops took a big hit last year and with all this talk of war…"

"He's not actually serious is he?"

"I can not be certain. But it's better to be prepared then to be left starving." They were silent for a second and I heard a sniff. "It'll be alright."

"I just don't understand why it's so urgent. You could be caught and hanged. Not only that but how are these people supposed to survive after losing everything? Why would he want to hurt someone so deeply?"

"I didn't ask but he told me he would take care of them. He wants to build a new house for them but he wants it to be a surprise."

"This doesn't leave a good feeling in my heart John." Momma sighed. "I can't believe you'd want to leave us with Elizabeth so sick." She was crying. I frowned at the mention of my name. I wasn't sick. At least I didn't feel sick.

"I didn't ask for this."

"I know." She inhaled deeply. "But maybe you can talk to him and pursued-"

"It's done Mary. I've given my word." He sighed. "Don't cry." I chose this moment to sigh and I turned over.

"Momma?" I said but my voice was weak and dry. She looked between her fingers that covered her face and gasped.

"My darling!" She shrieked. "Oh Lizzie! Oh my poor Lizzie." She wrapped me in her arms and held me close to her chest. She rocked me back and forth. I closed my eyes as I listened to her heartbeat and felt her tears splash on my forehead. When I opened my eyes Papa was sitting beside Momma and he was holding my hand. He had tears in his eyes too and he smiled slightly.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Dizzy." I peeped. He gave Momma a look and she stopped rocking. "I'm thirsty." I whispered and Papa reached over and poured a glass of water for me. I took small sips as Momma instructed while she held it to my lips. My arms were still too heavy to lift. "What happened?" I asked feeling my mouth come back to life.

"You had Scarlet fever."

"Scarlet Fever?" I asked.

"You developed a bad fever. Sissy said you woke with a nightmare and that's when she noticed it. Then you wouldn't wake for two days. Charlotte said you had awoken but you were sleeping by the time we got to you. That's when we noticed your rash and called the doctor." Momma inhaled deeply. "It was horrible Lizzie!

"But you're fine now. God answered our prayers." Papa smiled and squeezed my hand. "You've always been a fighter. Came into this world on the hottest night kicking and screaming. I didn't expect a little fever to take you out of this world." He kissed my hand and I smiled.

"Where's Charlotte?" I asked noticing that she wasn't there.

"She's getting ready to go home. We didn't think it safe having her here."

"No!" My heart started to race and I pushed away from my mother. "You can't!" I needed to see her. Nothing was going to stop me from keeping her here.

"Elizabeth. Lie down. You have been in bed for a week. You're not ready to walk." Momma's voice came from behind me but I didn't hear her. I pushed the blankets back and shivered at the cool air on my little legs. I noticed the pink dots all over my legs but my only concern was Charlotte. My feet touched the floor against my parents protests and my body collapsed to the floor.

"Come now Lizzie." Papa said catching me as Momma shrieked.

"We can't send her back there. It's not safe. He'll do it again!" I fought but I could feel myself starting to loose consciousness.

"What's not safe Lizzie?" Papa said. Momma held her breath and the room went quiet.

"He's not safe Papa. We have to save her! We must save her!"

"Do you think it's about James?" Momma whispered to Papa. "Sissy said she was screaming about him before she woke from her fever.

"Keep her away! She must stay away from him."

"What has he done to you my darling?" Momma said tucking the blankets around me. I shook my head.

"Charlotte." I gasped. "Protect Charlotte." I said and then it all went black.

I awoke hours later to a setting sun and the sound of shouting. My room was empty but the door to the grand hall was open. I pushed the blankets back and sat on the edge of my bed listening to the sound of two women shouting at each other. Instead of walking I slid to the floor and crawled to the door. It was less work and I didn't have to worry about making a lot of noise.

I crept to the ledge and lifted myself up, resting on the stone balcony. I looked down at Momma and Aunt Kitty screaming in each other's faces.

"If you cared about your daughter at all you'd do what's best for her!" Momma screamed.

"You think you know everything! You've always been that way! Did it ever cross your mind that maybe in her current state she's convinced herself this horrible accusation happened? Did you ever think that maybe your perfect child might be lying!" Aunt Kitty screamed her face purple with anger.

"Don't you dare!" Momma jabbed a finger into Aunt Kitty's chest. "I have never said my children are perfect. I know them better than anyone in this world. I know that she isn't lying. Look at Charlotte. She barely speaks and jumps whenever he talks to her! It's weird Katherine and you know it." She jabbed her again and Aunt Kitty stepped back. She shook her head at Momma with pure shock.

"I can't believe you." She said quietly. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm trying to save your child. And you for that matter." Momma sighed. "We've always known there was something wrong with him Kitty."

"Because he married me, there must be something wrong with him, surely." Aunt Kitty said through tears.

"You know that's not what I meant!" Momma said as Aunt Kitty stormed out of the house. I felt my legs start to shake and sat down clutching my knees to my chest. I don't know how long I was there for but the sound of horses had long gone. I was shivering when Lydia climbed the stairs.

"Lizzie?" She blinked at me lifting her candle higher to see my face.

"I couldn't save her." I whispered staring into my sister's worried eyes.

"Who? Charlotte?" I nodded and she sighed. She wrapped an arm around my body and helped me onto my feet.

"You did all that you could." Lydia said as she tucked me in bed. She stared at my face and gave me a small smile. A tear rolled down my cheek and Lydia stared at it. She touched my face. "Sleep Lizzie. It'll work out in the end."

"Every time I close my eyes I see…" I shut my eyes tight and fought the pain in my chest. I heard Lydia inhale deeply and felt the bed move beside me. She pushed the covers back and crawled into bed with me. "I couldn't save her Lydia." I said sobbing into my sister's chest. She held onto me so tightly I could barely breathe, but for the first time in a week I felt safe and calm. For the first time in a week I slept without a worry.

I sat at my window seat with three plumped pillows behind me, a blanket over my lap and the book about horses face down onto my legs. I was watching the birds fly in the sky and I was thinking about Charlotte. All I seemed to do was think about Charlotte. It had been three weeks since Charlotte left and we hadn't heard a single word from them. I had written her three times and each time the letter was sent back. Momma would receive them and she would shake her head before tossing them into the fire. Each time they came back I went up and wrote another. I was determined and I wasn't going to give up on her. Today I was tired. After two weeks in bed I finally was able to walk by myself but I was so tired and never hungry, so I had no energy. I liked to sit in the warm sun and listen to the birds.

It was around tea time when the sound of horses came from the road. I turned my gaze away from the birds and noticed a black carriage coming up to the gates. I blinked at the driver and watched as my sister and my mother rushed out to greet our guests. It wasn't Papa because he had left in the middle of the night on a single horse with promises to be back in a fortnight. I assume it was that dangerous task they had been talking about. Surely I hadn't dreamt it, although everything was starting to feel like a dream.

I watched the driver jump down and open the door for a man wearing a black hat to step out. He smiled and turned back to the carriage offering his hand. A white gloved hand filled his and a black wisp of hair appeared. Jane stepped out from the carriage and greeted Momma and Lydia with a bright smile. She looked around and frowned. Lydia turned and pointed at me in the window. Jane looked up and smiled while Lord York waved. I smiled back but didn't wave, a waste of energy. I watched as they disappeared inside, followed by the puppy that she had gotten.

I heard the sound of people in the hall below and went back to watching the birds. I didn't even hear them come up the stairs. One minute I was alone with the birds and the next minute there was a three month old Spaniel by my side desperate to lick my face. I laughed and lowered my hand to it.

"Nell! No!" Jane's voice came from the door way as the puppy started to bite my fingers. I looked up and smiled.

"You called her Nell?" I asked raising my eyebrow. Thomas chuckled and Jane rolled her eyes.

"Why must everyone say it like that?" She said and then kissed my cheek.

"It's a…peculiar name." I said with a shrug as she lifted the puppy onto my lap and she liked my face.

"It comes with a story." Thomas said and he too kissed my cheek.

"I'd like to hear it." I said laying back on my pillows as the puppy lay beside me chewing on the blankets.

"I'd like to hear how you are feeling first." Jane said with a mother's tone. I had forgotten that she had one of those voices, or maybe she was just growing into it.

"I had scarlet fever and I can barely walk but I like sitting here in the sun and I like hearing stories." I said with a bored attitude. I was tired of people poking at me and asking how I was feeling. Jane inhaled deeply and shook her head.

"Fine." She sighed.

"I have heard this story so many times. I think I'll go get some tea." Thomas said with a wink. I smiled as he closed the door and raised my eyebrows at my sister.

"Are you sure there's nothing else you want to talk about?" Jane said crossing her legs like she was a child again. Charlotte's green eyes popped into my head and I closed my eyes. I shook my head, trying to get the image out of it but Jane took the hint as well. "Alright. In the days of King Arthur there is the love story of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle."

"You called your dog RAGNELLE?" I raised my eyebrows at her with disbelief and she frowned at me.

"Shall I continue this story?" I giggled and shook my head with disbelief. "One day King Arthur and his knights went hunting for deer in this enchanted forest. While hunting they met with Sir Gromer, who hated King Arthur, or at least in my version he did." I laughed at my sister and she brushed a long dark strand of hair away form her face. "He challenged King Arthur with a question. He asked him to find the answer to the question of what women desire the most. Now King Arthur was a smart man and he became depressed because he knew it was going to be impossible to figure it out. But his nephew Gawain was enthusiastic about it and he decided to go around asking the neighbouring farmlands to try to come up with the answer.

Whilst in the enchanted forest King Arthur met an old hag. Her name was Ragnelle and she was Sir Gromer's sister. She told Arthur that she knew the answer but it came with a price. If he wanted the answer then she would marry his nephew."

"He married off his nephew to win a bet?" I said with shock.

"Men are very proud creatures Elizabeth." Jane said in her pretend Momma voice. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Men are idiots." Lydia's voice came from her doorway and we smiled at her.

"Jane's telling me the reason why she gave her puppy a…strange name." She grumbled again as Lydia made herself comfortable beside me. She looked from one face to another and then smiled. "Where was I?"

"He was marrying off his nephew." Lydia said.

"Ah yes. So Gawain, being selfless and having so much love for his uncle agreed to the marriage. Ragnelle told Arthur that women desire to make their own choices. And when Arthur told this to Gromer he won and Ragnelle married his nephew. Now that night when Gawain and Ragnelle went to bed, he discovered that Ragnelle had become beautiful. She was no longer an old hag. She explained to him that she was under a curse and he had to chose. Did he want her to be beautiful at night where only he would see her or during the day where others would see her?"

"He picked the night." Lydia said and I frowned at her.

"Why would he pick the night? Wouldn't he want to show off his beautiful wife?" Lydia laughed and Jane smirked.

"Oh Lizzie. There's so much that you still have to learn." She teased and I frowned.

"Like what?" Jane raised her eyebrows at Lydia and Lydia just shrugged.

"You'll figure it out when your older." She said and I sulked.

"Let's get back to the story." Jane said trying to distract me. "He didn't chose the day and he didn't chose he night. He told her to make her own decision and that broke the spell. She was forever beautiful. Well she was for at least 5 more years. She died after giving birth to her son, or something along those lines." I laughed and Lydia shook her head. "But the moral of the story is that sometimes you do things for people that you love. I called her Nell because she is a reminder of the sacrifices I made for my family. But she also reminds me that not all sacrifices turn out to be bad. Some things may look horrible but be truly beautiful." There was a smile on Jane's lips as she scratched behind the puppies eyes. She had a weird look on her face which made Lydia and I exchange the same glances.

"Are you feeling ok?" I asked and her eyes flicked up to ours and she sighed.

"I'm perfect." She smiled and I raised my eyebrows at her. Lydia groaned.

"Oh no. She's in love." She made a puking sound and I giggled.

"In love?" Jane said with a confused expression.

"Well I hope she would love me by now." Thomas appeared at the doorway with a tray. He placed it on the tea table and pulled it closer to us. "I've put up with her bossiness for two months without any complaints."

"That's because she has a vagina." Lydia said taking a bite out of a sugar cookie.

"LYDIA!" Jane shrieked as Thomas choked on his own cookie. Nell jumped off the bed and ate the crumbs off his lap. Lydia shrugged her shoulders and smiled. I looked at my sisters and my new brother and somewhere along the way I became happy again.

We were on our third game of cards when we heard a rumble in the field. I looked out the window at the dark storm clouds that were rolling in.

"It's gonna be a loud one." Thomas said and we nodded.

"We should have a sleepover like we used to." I said looking from Jane to Lydia. "Please?" I begged. They exchanged glances and then looked at Thomas.

"I'm fine with it. I don't mind sleeping by myself during a…thunderstorm." He gulped, pretending to be scared and I laughed.

"Alright that sounds like fun." Jane said and Lydia nodded. I looked back out at the clouds and noticed a figure in the distance. It was coming towards the house and fast.

"Look. It looks like a cow." I said pointing.

"It's probably just a stray dog." Lydia said turning back to her cards.

"It might be a sheep. Someone should tell Sir John." Jane said putting her cards down.

"It's moving to quickly to be a random animal. And its not straying off the path." Thomas said as we watched the figure become bigger and bigger. We sat in silence and listened to the rumble of the clouds. Then the soft sound of hoof beats came through the window and I jumped.

"It's a rider!" Thomas said.

"It's Papa!" I shrieked. Lydia jumped off the day bed and raced from the room shouting to Momma.

"He's moving so quickly. Do you think something is wrong?" Jane asked sitting up on her knees.

"He could just be trying to beat the storm." I said but the look on their faces said I was wrong.

"I'll go down and find out." He said.

"I'll come with you." Jane hopped off the bed and followed him.

"Wait! Please don't leave me here alone." I begged. Even Nell had gone after them. They looked at each other and Thomas smiled.

"Of course not." He gathered the blankets around me and swooped me into his arms. It was lucky that he was so strong because I was barely able to hold on. He carried me down the stairs and out into the gardens just as Papa arrived and with Papa came the rain.

"Why is she out here?" Momma asked, glancing from me to the slowly opening gate.

"She wanted to see Papa." Jane said.

"She's sick. Take her inside." Momma said as a torn and tired Papa appeared through the door.

"Papa!" I shouted and held out my hand. His eyes met mine but they did not see me. He was covered in red sores and the skin that wasn't red was black. He gasped and then fell out of the saddle "What's wrong with him?" I screamed.

"Take her inside." Momma snapped as she raced towards him.

Thomas hurried inside, placed me carefully in a chair and then raced back outside. I sat in the great hall by myself, desperately trying to see out the rain streaked windows. I saw their silhouettes carry Papa past the windows and Momma shut the solar door before I could see him. Jane and Lydia came into the room and both their faces were grim.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked again, tears in my eyes.

"He's got some bad burns but he'll be fine." Jane said rubbing my shoulders.

"He's just tired Lizzie, don't worry." She smiled that fake smile that she gives me when she's pretending she isn't worried. I narrowed my eyes at her and there was a cry from Papa's solar. "Come on, let's get you out of those wet blankets." She wrapped an arm around my body and with Jane's help we went up the stairs and into bed.

"Why does it feel like nothing good ever happens here?" I said letting the tears fall from my eyes.

"What do you mean silly?" Jane said rubbing my feet to try and warm them.

"First you leave. Then Charlotte. Then I get sick. Then Papa leaves and comes back almost dead. What's next?" I shook my head and stared at the black sky.

"Well I don't know if this is good news or not but… I'm pregnant." Jane said.

The next morning it was still dark and raining. Jane, Lydia and I had sat up practically all night talking about the baby. At one point Momma came and kissed us goodnight, after informing us that Papa was resting. After breakfast, Lydia and Jane dressed me in my winter clothes and helped me walk down the stairs. We sat in the great hall and played cards while the rain hit the windows.

Around lunchtime Momma let us go in and see Papa. He was breathing heavily and he was barely awake but he was all clean and bandaged up. He even smiled at us when we walked in.

"My girls. I probably gave you quite the fright." He said.

"Yes Papa." Jane said.

"I thought you were dead." I said, tears filling my eyes.

"Well look at my Lizzie. Walking around, healthy as a horse." He said proudly and I couldn't help the smile on my face.

"Well she's healthier than _your_ horse." Lydia said with a snort. "He's not going to make it much longer. Too bad Tad isn't here anymore." At the mention of Tad's name the room went silent. A heavy tension hung in the air. Momma inhaled deeply and Papa smiled.

"Ah well I'm sure I won't be needing a horse for a while." He mumbled.

"Why not Papa?" A loud blast of thunder drowned out his response. "Pardon?" I asked again.

"The King has declared war." He sighed.

"No!" Momma gasped.

"This cannot be!" Jane reached for Thomas' hand. Lydia and I just looked at each other.

"But why?"

"Because that's what King's do." Lydia snapped.

"He can't! It's not fair." Jane started to weep. Thomas patted her head and smiled.

"Pregnancy seems to make her cry more often." Momma smiled and then turned to Papa. Another loud bang cut off her words.

"A fortnight. We're to all gather in London and then move for France."

"Dear God!" Momma knelt beside the bed and started praying. I turned and shuffled to the window. I pressed my head against the cool glass and shook my head. Why were only bad things happening? What were we being punished for?

The neighing of a horse caught my attention and I blinked through the rain on the window. In the front garden was a black carriage. "Momma is the doctor here?"

"The doctor left this morning." Thomas answered. "Why Lizzie?" He moved to stand beside me but by the time he reached me I was half running half staggering out the door. I heard someone call after me but I only had one thought in mind. I through open the door and raced to the carriage. The horse jumped at the sound of the thunder but I didn't even flinch. I got to the carriage door and yanked it open. My gaze met a pair of big green eyes and she smiled at me!

"Charlotte!" I shrieked and wrapped her in a huge hug. Next thing I knew I was being wrapped in a blanket and carried inside. Thomas placed me beside the fire and ran back out for Charlotte's things. Momma met us in the great hall and wrapped a blanket around Charlotte's shoulders.

"Did you travel alone?" She asked looking back outside. Charlotte shivered and nodded her head. She reached into her riding coat pocket and handing Momma a piece of parchment. She looked at me with a worried expression and I grinned at her.

"It appears that your mother has come to some sense, although she still sounds angry." Momma sighed. "You are to stay here until your mother comes up with a better idea." I raised my eyebrows at her and Charlotte grinned at me.

"See Lizzie. Good things do happen." Lydia said from the doorway.


	6. Chapter 6

**Eleven**

"Smelly Nelly come here!" Charlotte laughed as we chased Nell around the yard. She had gotten into the cook's rotten vegetables and smelled awful. She raced across the yard towards the gate house for Clifford's Tower. The guards watched us carefully and one man bent down and caught her right at the last second. He smiled and held her out to us.

"Smells like someone's in need of a bath." He said with a laugh. His black hair was going grey and his green eyes were wrinkled. But he had a contagious smile and something about him made me feel like laughing.

"She got into the cook's rubbage." I said taking Nell from his arms. He smiled the way adults smile at children. I frowned slightly. I was halfway to being 12 and yet everyone still treated me as a child. Of course I still had a girls body (no breast, skinny arms and legs and still no monthly bleed like Lydia had gotten) but I felt older than I looked. Why couldn't people see that I was mature for my age and not just a silly little girl?

"You two should be wearing cloaks." The other guard said. His hair was blonde and his eyes were dark brown. He was a lot younger than the other guard and when he smiled he had perfect white teeth. I felt butterflies in my stomach when he smiled.

"She raced out so quickly that we didn't even think of it." I said noticing the cold air on my arms. I felt Charlotte tugged on my sleeve and she started walking back.

"Well thank you Sir." I said nodding my head and turning back towards the guest house.

It had been five months since Papa and Thomas left and after a midwife confirmed Jane's pregnancy we decided to all come to York to be with her. Momma and Lydia stayed in the house whereas Charlotte and I got the guest house all to ourselves. Lydia complained but then realized that she wouldn't be bothered by two "boisterous children".

Aunt Kitty had stayed with us for the month of September, to celebrate Charlotte's birthday but to also get away from Uncle James. Ever since she caught him sneaking out of Charlotte's room life for her was miserable. She had gotten so skinny you could see her bones. And her eyes were so swollen that I was surprised she could see. She had promised us that she would be here for Christmas, but Christmas was a week away and she still wasn't here yet.

Charlotte and I scooted around the stones and the men who were building Jane's new suite. When she got her dowry Jane and Thomas paid off his debt and were left with a small amount of money left over. After hearing Jane complain about her apartments Thomas hired builders and stonemason's to go over plans for new apartments for Jane. It gave Jane something other than a baby to look forward to while Thomas was gone.

"Oh no. What has she gotten into?" I heard Jane before I saw her and jumped. She was standing in the doorway of the house hanging a Christmas wreath. She placed her hands on her hips and shook her head with disapproval.

"It's nothing Jane." Charlotte said.

"Don't worry. We'll clean her up nicely." I smiled and Jane sighed.

"How am I supposed to take care of a baby when I've got that little wretch." She sighed as she rubbed her belly. It was starting to show under her new gowns and she had needed to order a new girdle, which had made her cry. Everything seemed to make her cry these days. We were never allowed to mention Thomas or Papa, or talk about the baby, or talk about the summer, or talk about Christmas. Basically we just left Jane alone, pretending she wasn't there, so that we did not upset her.

We closed the door behind us and Sissy, as we had asked, had filled the small iron tub with warm water. We used the scented salts Charlotte got for her birthday and a bar of soap and scrubbed Nell as much as we could. It took almost an hour to get her clean and dry. Once we were done we were afraid to let her out into the snow and mud. She stared at us from the doorway, her brown floppy ears and brown eyes added to the pain on her face. I looked at Charlotte, who was thinking the same as I was, and sighed. She opened the door and Nell raced for the puddle of mud where the stones were being kept. The snow hadn't started falling yet, but we had a lot of rain and she was constantly getting into trouble.

"NELL!" I shouted and once again we raced after her. The blonde soldier from before scooped her up and looked over at us.

"No coats again." He scolded with a smile.

"I'm going to get a rope." Charlotte whispered and disappeared into the house.

"That dog is the most troublesome dog I have ever seen." Lydia appeared from beside the house and patted the dogs head. Nell licked her hand excitedly and Lydia smiled. "She is adorable though." She smiled up at the guard and he passed the dog to me. I looked at Lydia and frowned. She was wearing her blue surcoat that had a low, square neckline, with sleeves just reaching the tips of her shoulders and trimmed with white fur. The surcoat had three buttons at the bust and opened up to reveal the white dress underneath. It had silver vines and flowers all over it. She wore white gloves and wore a white fur hat on her head. I blinked at my sister in shock. She had never put this much effort into her appearance before.

"What are you gaping at?" She asked me with annoyance and a dash of self doubt.

"You look so beautiful." I said studying her gown. She stuck her nose up in the air and raised her eyebrows at me. "Are you feeling ill?" I asked reaching up to feel her forehead like Momma did when we had the flu. The soldier laughed out loud and Lydia slapped my hand away.

"Go away Elizabeth!" She snapped. "If I wanted the opinion of a child I would have asked you first." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks as she and the soldier walked off towards the stables. I blinked at her and tried desperately to think of something witty to say back. But all of a sudden it began to rain and Charlotte pulled me into the house.

"Don't let her get to you Lizzie." Charlotte peeped at me. "She seems to fancy that man and wants to look pretty for him."

"But why? Is he supposed to love her more if she looks pretty?" Charlotte shrugged.

"It doesn't mean he will love her more but it will make him think of her more often." Momma's voice came from the staircase and we jumped. "Men like are vulgar, dirty and messy creatures. But they love pretty and pristine things. For example your father and his horses. You know how he gets after a long ride. They always have to be washed down and they have to look their best."

"But Lydia isn't a thing. She's a girl." I said with confusion.

"Lydia is a woman now and she's at the right age to find a husband."

"It makes it easier for men to fall in love with pretty women." Charlotte said and I looked at her with wonder. 9 years old and she knew more than me.

"Men will love whomever they want. Not all girls are pretty. Luckily for you two, and for Lydia, you are all beautiful. Catching Nell will be harder than finding you husbands." Momma said brushing back my wild blonde hair.

"I am not going to get married." Charlotte said. Momma looked at her for a moment without even moving.

"Why not Charlotte?" I asked.

"Don't you want to have a beautiful house and children who have your eyes?" Momma smiled and kissed my cheek. Her eyes were blue and mine were purple but people often said that we had the same eyes. I smiled at her and felt a sense of pride that I looked like my mother.

"I think I want to go to Spain. One of the soldiers was telling me that it's very warm there and it never rains." Momma pressed her lips together and eyed her carefully.

"You're going to marry a Spaniard?" I asked with a laugh.

"I'm not interested in marrying anyone." She said firm and determined. Momma sighed.

"Well you are still young. You may change your mind." She turned and headed for the library. "Just don't tell your mother. She'll die of a broken heart." She said and disappeared into the library.

We stood there for a moment and just looked at each other. "Do you think it odd that I don't want to get married?" She asked with a worried expression on her face. I looked at her and thought about her life. I tried to picture her married with children and it was as if the thought were impossible.

"No. I think it makes sense that you wouldn't want to spend your life belonging to a man. I think you'll have a better life travelling the world than you would being someone's _wife_." Charlotte laughed.

"You make it sound like being a wife is the worst thing in the world. Don't you want to be a wife?"

"My mother would kill me if I didn't marry. Your mother only has one child so she's not likely to kill you about your life choices." We laughed as we entered the parlor.

We sat by the fire and played a game of cards while Sissy poured our tea. Then she sat down and read to us while we practiced our needlework. After that it was spelling lessons and then supper. Lydia came in with rosy cheeks as dinner was being served. She headed right up to her room and changed into her dark green cotton gown and her brown surcoat that was sleeveless and tied a black leather belt around her waist. She wore fresh white stockings and her old black boots. She pulled her hair out of the hair net and tied it into a long black braid that she wore over her shoulder.

I raised my eyebrows at her and she smiled.

"Back to normal I see." Jane said from the head of the table. She wore her hair in a black hair net and sat back resting her pale hands on her blue velvet dress that outlined the top of her stomach.

"I like to dress up, but it gets very uncomfortable after a while." Charlotte laughed and I shook my head.

"I was afraid you had lost your mind." I said as the butler appeared at the door.

"My Lady, Lord Bennet had arrived." He said with a bow.

"Papa?" Jane looked at mother and both exchanged worried glances. We all rose from our seats and followed mother out to the front entrance.

Papa stood at the front door, soaking wet, wearing his war uniform. He looked tired and seemed to have more grey in his hair but he was alive. He smiled at mother and held her hands tightly in his. He kissed her cheek and smiled at the rest of us.

"Don't hug me. I wouldn't want to ruin your beauty with my filth." He said.

"You are home?" Momma asked.

"Is Thomas with you?" Jane asked holding her hands together tightly.

"I'm sorry my darling. I was sent home due to an infection." He winced as the maid helped him take his boots off. "I went home at first and John told me you had come here. So I rode here as fast as I could."

"You're a fool sometimes John Bennet." Momma scolded. "Why wouldn't you just wait until the morning and take the carriage?"

"I was afraid it would get stuck in the mud and I wouldn't be here for Christmas." He winked at me and I shook my head with a laugh.

"Oh Papa." Jane said. "Come and get changed. I'll have your things brought up to Momma's room."

"You don't look injured." Momma said eyeing him suspiciously.

"Are you not happy to see me my darling?" He pinched her cheek and we laughed. "It's from the burns. One spilt open the day I got there and it never healed properly. I came down with a bad fever last week and they sent me home fearing I would be too contagious." The butler offered him his arm and Papa leaned on his as they headed to the stairs. "I have to go to London after Christmas to speak to the king and see if he wants me to go back." He headed up the stairs as Momma followed scolding him and tutting about the king.

We headed into the parlor and sat by the fire as we waited for Papa to finish his bath. He came down in a fur trimmed robe, his sword hanging off a belt tied around his robe and finished it off with worn out slippers on his feet. We stood up and gave each other shocked glances at his appearance. Lydia cleared her throat and Charlotte stared at the table.

"Did you forget to change Papa?" Jane asked with raised eyebrows.

"I did change. I'm nice and warm now thank you for asking." He said with a carefree expression. He sat across from her at the other end of the table and looked at her.

"Aren't you forgetting certain items of clothing?" She asked annoyed. We all stared at him and his brows furrowed with confusion. He looked down at his robe and bite his lip.

"Ah yes of course." He snapped his fingers and the butler came in carrying the coronet that was handed down to him from his father and grandfather. He put it on his head and tilted it back. He looked up at Jane and smiled brightly. "Better?" She stared at him and we all held our breath. Jane smiled for the first time in months and then started laughing. "Your mother said it would be alright to wear this. My legs are very sore and I didn't want to wear pants." He shrugged and a smiled played at his lips. "You ladies never have to wear pants so I thought I would partake in the trend." We all burst out into laughter and Momma walked in shaking her head.

"We have to wear more clothing than you do when you go into battle." She defended.

"I strongly doubt that the weight of your dresses feels the same as the weight of armour my dear." He said taking a sip of his wine.

"It all depends on the dress." She said.

"And the horrible hoop skirt." Lydia added.

"And the weather." Jane said scratching at her stomach.

"Let's say grace now children." Momma said as she normally did. She looked at Papa and he led us in the lords prayer. We talked and ate for almost two hours. It was the best time I had had with my family in months. We discussed the upcoming Christmas festivities and what kind of presents we were expecting. Papa talked little of the war and told Jane that Thomas had been sent to the southern parts of France. He gave her encouraging words but his expression was sad and grim. The crease in Jane's forehead got deeper and she pushed her food around her plate for the rest of the night.

After dinner Papa, Momma and Jane went into the parlor while they sent the rest of us off to bed. Lydia grumbled at having to go to bed the same time we did but Charlotte and I were happy to go. We dressed in our nightgowns and jumped into bed. Sissy kissed us goodnight, gave us the usual threats of no talking and then shut the door. We listened to her blow out the candles and then we started whispering about Christmas. We were so excited. This year we had made all of our presents. We made Momma a painting of a horse. Papa we knitted him new slippers and even got soles for the bottoms (we bribed the shoemaker in town with sweets from our bakery). We got Lydia a glass bead necklace and for Jane we got her bath salts that were supposed to calm her nerves. We even got Nell a pig's foot. We just had to get Sissy a present and then we were done.

Two days later Charlotte and I were walking up to the castle after a shopping trip. Hugh, the horse tamer, was paying us a sixpence for mucking the stalls. We agreed that if we mucked the horses' stalls every day when the boys went out to walk them that he would pay us a sixpence. This was how Charlotte and I were able to buy Christmas presents. Momma thought it was barbaric but Jane seemed to think it was a smart idea. She would cover for us when we walked into town and sometimes she even came with us. But when she came she would take so much time to stop and talk to people about the baby and wish them a marry Christmas. She would stand and listen to people complain for what felt like hours and would eventually spend all her money on donations to the poor people. It was extremely frustrating.

Shopping with Lydia was no better. Lydia loved to walk, but she loved running even more. She was constantly betting us to see who would win a race to the first shop. If we didn't bet she would tease us until we gave in and we'd lose half of our spending money. Then once we got to the shops she never wanted to look at the items we wanted to look for. So Charlotte and I convinced Sissy to make us some "play clothes" so we looked like the towns people and we would walk into town together.

The first time we went we were terrified, especially Charlotte. Sissy had bought horrible itchy brown dresses and gave us white linen smocks underneath. She wrapped dark brown wool blankets around our shoulders and put white caps on our heads, tucking our hair into buns and hiding them beneath the cap. She gave us each a basket and told us to drop everything and run if someone tried to hurt us. Basically we tip toed down the street, clinging to each other tightly, jumping at every sound. I'm sure people were laughing at the sight of us.

Today was a great day. We had boughten Sissy a pair of white leather gloves that were lined with Rabbit fur. They cost 10 shillings, but we paid 5 and gave 6 butter tarts to the tanner. As we walked up to the house we noticed that the gates were open and that a carriage had just arrived.

"Look Charlotte." I pointed and we stood watching as trunks were unloaded.

"That's my Momma's trunk." She said excitedly and stepped forward towards the gate. I grabbed her arm and pulled her behind the wall. We peered around the wall and watched as Momma and Aunt Kitty embraced and stood at the door talking about something.

"Back from your trip already?" A man's voice came from behind us and we jumped. It was the older guard with darker hair.

"Shh. We're hiding!" I hissed and we pressed ourselves against the wall as Momma looked in our direction.

"What are we going to do?" Charlotte whispered in my ear. I shook my head and shrugged. How were we going to get back in when Aunt Kitty was clearly looking for Charlotte. We'd have no time to change back into our clothes before she found us. The guard looked at us and smiled.

"I have an idea." He said. He disappeared through the gates and walked up to Momma. He bowed politely and told them that he had seen us wandering up to Clifford's Tower. Aunt Kitty shrieked and Momma's eye went wide. We heard her screech: You let them go up there where the murders are kept? What is wrong with you!

When they raced off towards the gate the guard turned to us and smiled and then followed them. We waited until they were through the gates and then raced as fast as our legs would let us into the guesthouse and changed into our clothes. Sissy braided my hair as I braided Charlotte's and when Momma knocked on the guest house door 30 minutes later we were pretending to be dancing around the sitting room (an excuse as to our heavy breathing and flushed faces).

"We have been looking for you everywhere." Momma scolded as Aunt Kitty embraced Charlotte.

"We were playing catch on the hill and then decided to come in and have a dance before Christmas." I lied and felt the familiar heaviness in my stomach as the lie settled there. Momma narrowed her eyes at me and looked at my boots.

"You don't look like you have been outside." She said, knowing I was lying.

"We changed Momma." I said pretending she was silly for thinking we would be dancing around in our dirty clothes. When in reality we never noticed when our clothes were dirty. "We're trying to act grown up." I said curtsying to her and she eyed me suspiciously.

"Look Momma." Charlotte said pulling on Sissy's hand. "We can dance now." Charlotte, Sissy and I all stood in a circle.

"It's called the Carole dance." I said and watched Momma and Aunt Kitty exchange smiles. Sissy started humming and the three of us danced in sync to the music. After the dance was done we all turned and curtsied for our mothers and they laughed and clapped for us.

"Well done my darlings." Momma said.

"You're all ready for the Christmas ball." Aunt Kitty said and then bit her lip when Momma pinched her.

"Ball?" I looked at Charlotte and her eyes grew wide like mine.

"It was going to be your Christmas surprise." Momma rolled her eyes at her sister. "The King has invited us to celebrate Christmas and the New Year at the London Castle." Charlotte and I exchanged glances and then we both shrieked. We clutched each others arms and jumped up and down. Christmas couldn't come fast enough.

Our twelve days of Christmas celebrations started off with a mass at the break of dawn. Sissy awoke us and dressed us in our emerald green Christmas dresses, tied half of our hair back in a green ribbon and sent us on our way. We rode with Jane, who watched the silent city pass with a tired gaze, and Lydia who slept the whole way. The church was full of townspeople but our seats were always at the front, next to the richest family in town, Tom Butcher and his wife Margaret.

After Mass was finished we went back to the castle, accompanied by Fr. John. He was a short man with a bald spot at the back of his head and a small thin moustache above his lip. He held his hands together tightly behind him when he walked and when he smiled he was missing three front teeth. He blamed it on his rambunctious childhood. Regardless it was unsettling to converse with him so Charlotte and I spent Christmas afternoon together while Jane and Lydia were forced to sit and talk with him. Christmas dinner was a feast of everything I could imagine and the best part was the Christmas Pudding. Charlotte got the piece with the penny in it and Momma let her keep it with hopes of good luck for the new year.

Day two of the festivities was the day where masters and servants would dine together and the master of the house would give out gifts. Jane had spent the last three months learning how to cook and she forced Charlotte, Lydia and I to help with the dinner preparations. Charlotte cooked the vegetables, Lydia made the desserts and I got the job of "watching the chicken cook" while Jane napped. When dinner was served everyone clapped at our wonderful feast. Jane's gift to her servants was a vacation. Everyone was allowed to take the rest of the week off and were still going to be paid. Needless to say the celebration lasted all night.

Day 3 of the celebrations we went into town and watched the plays the townspeople put on. This one was the story of Jane and Thomas. The people talked of how their love was sudden and true. They portrayed the couple as being meant for each other with love that could withstand anything. They acted out Thomas at war and Jane cried. They acted out Jane producing a male heir and Jane cried. They ended the play with Jane and Thomas watching three little red headed children (who were in fact dwarves) run around playing. She cried the whole way home and went to bed early.

Day 4 was not a celebration. It was December 28th, or "Holy Innocents Day". This was the day that King Harrod ordered his men to go out and slay all the little babies in attempts to kill Jesus. So to ward off bad luck children were beaten or punished. Luckily my parents we not so cruel. They just told us to remain in our room until dinner where we had a small dinner of soup and bread. Day 4 was not my favourite day.

We left the next day for the castle. The King was throwing a New Year ball and as Momma had promised we were all invited. Charlotte and I could barely sleep for the excitement was so strong. We arose early and barely touched our breakfast. Charlotte was dressed first. We each had matching dresses. Unlike our green dresses on Christmas day we were given light blue dresses. Momma explained that we were given dresses of this colour because we were young women now, even though neither of us had experienced our monthly bleed. We did not object.

We wore our smocks under our kirtles and covered it with a white corset made out of reeds and linen. They were tied tightly to our chests and made them flatten. We wore our light blue dresses over top. Our dresses were double laced with soft blue ribbon tying loosely over white linen and tied the dress tightly behind. The sleeves were long trumpet sleeves that touched the ground when we walked. They were lined with white linen and we had to keep our hands clasped at our waist to keep them from dragging on the floor.

Our hair was washed and Sissy braided a long braid around our head. She laced a blue ribbon through our braids and fastened it to the rim of our hair line. She tied the rest of our loose hair in little braids and weaved them around each other, fastening them to the back of our head so all of our hair was up. At the top she placed a piece of holly and after giving us a once over she nodded with pride. She gave us each a new mantle of white sheep's wool and we wrapped it around our shoulders as we rode the four hour journey to London.

When we reached the castle the sun was setting and the town was starting to light up. We talked about all the dancing that was to take place and watched the handsome men and women climb out of their carriages. The castle was decorated beautifully with candles and evergreen lining the door frames and windowsills.

Inside the grand entrance there was a large ever green tree that was decorated with large red apples and bright red ribbon. Underneath the tree were the gifts for the king. Papa handed the servant boy the rabbit fur riding gloves we had gotten for the king and he placed the small parcel amongst the thousands of other presents. I raised my eyebrows with surprise to Charlotte and she shook her head. It would be awfully wonderful to get that many presents at Christmas time.

"Do you think the King will even be here?" Lydia asked Jane as the door to our carriage opened.

"Don't be silly Lydia. It's the King's ball. Why wouldn't he attend his own ball?" I asked with a laugh.

"There is talk that the King didn't spend Christmas here. His family all arrived for a Christmas feast and they celebrated it in his name for he wasn't even present." Jane whispered as we walked up the steps.

"Where was he?" I asked smiling politely to the other guests.

"He's got a new love interest." Lydia smirked and Jane giggled. I felt a strange pain in my chest. My petty girl like mind dreamed that I would be the one he loved. Even though I was only Eleven and of little nobel lineage a piece of me hoped that one day we would be married.

We entered the dinning hall and marveled at all the beautiful colours. Charlotte held my hand tightly as we watched men and women dressed in all sorts of colours walk by. There was one women who stood by the dark window in a small group that was absolutely beautiful. She had rich dark hair that she wore in a low bun with a golden hairnet. Her skin was darker as if she had exposed herself to the sun for too long and her eyes were a dark brown with long dark eyelashes. She had a large blue feather that stood out of her hair and matched the rich blue of her dress. It sparkled in the light and swayed perfectly with the way she walked that you could barely tell she was moving.

"That's the Queen of Spain." Jane whispered to Charlotte and I.

"She's beautiful." Charlotte whispered and was mesmerized by her.

"Is she going to marry the King?" I asked and Jane laughed.

"She's already married. That's why she's the queen." Lydia said as she rolled her eyes. I blushed and pouted slightly.

"Come Lizzie. Don't pout." Papa said before turning to greet another of his friends.

"Come let's go and get a drink." Jane said pulling my hand gently and heading towards the boy who was offering glasses. She handed us each a cup and I sniffed the cup suspiciously. It was warm and smelt of cinnamon.

"What is this Jane?" I asked.

"It is honey wine." She smiled and shook her head. "Oh Lizzie just try it. You'll never experience any joy in this world if you are always so hesitant." She turned to talk with another young pregnant woman. Lydia wandered off and started talking with a girl from the last party leaving Charlotte and I to ourselves. We watched people glide by and greet each other for what felt like hours. Eventually the dinner bell rang and we were seated close to the head table. Jane looked at Papa suspiciously and he just shrugged.

"People are looking at us Papa." She hissed.

"Should we be sitting here?" Momma asked picking up our name cards written in neat black ink.

"Of course. Our names are on these seats are they not?" Papa said but there was a red blush to his cheeks as he smiled at the people around us. And it was true. People were eyeing us with great suspicion. One women turned her nose up once I made eye contact with her.

"This section of the table is designated for Dukes and family to the king." Lydia whispered in my ear when she noticed my confusion. "We're not supposed to sit here. We normally sit down there." She pointed to where Aunt Kitty and Uncle James were sitting far down the table. She gave us a worried expression and Charlotte smiled excitedly at me from behind her mother. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged at her and she laughed.

Once the King entered and the party was underway people stopped paying attention to our seating dilemma and started enjoying the cheese and fruits that were offered to them. Before the roasted boar was served the King stood and the room went quite.

"I have a few announcements to make before our meal is served." He said with a proud strong voice. "I shall start with the sad news to remember the past year. War is never a happy time and it often brings down those involved and the loved ones that they leave behind." He looked around sadly at all the women seated without husbands. A few were dressed in black and the others had a look of unfathomable sadness in their eyes. "I want to thank you for coming out and spending the beginning of the new year with us. We are a strong country and it's times like these that show we are a united front. I have suffered my own loss." He looked down into the golden chalice in his hand and his brow furrowed. "My childhood friend, which most of you may remember for his harmless pranks and his quick wit." He smiled. "Lord Norfolk, my best friend Jesse, has gone missing in battle. I do not have the full details but about a month after heading off to war he was leading a group into battle and the whole region was…" He looked up at the horrified faces and sighed. "Well to Jesse and all the other fallen soldiers." He raised his glass and took a drink. His gaze settled on father and I looked at father who nodded at him before he too drank from his glass.

"Now onto the happier times. This new year has a lot of change to look forward too." He smiled. "I am happy to announce there will be some changes to my council. Seeing as Lord Norfolk had no male heir, my cousin, Lord Pembroke, will replace him. Rise Lord Norfolk, former Lord Pembroke." He smiled proudly as a young skinny redheaded boy stood and blushed as the guests erupted in applause.

"That's Charles Bingley." Lydia whispered. "His father died when he was seven and he became the Earl of Pembroke. He is the most eligible bachelor to date."

"He's the most eligible bachelor because he's 14." Jane laughed. "Look at his baby face." She teased and Lydia frowned.

"I'm 14." Lydia said sitting taller and prouder.

"My point is then proven." Jane winked at me and I hid my smile behind my hand. "I never took you for one to settle."

"I don't want to settle." She admitted. "But a small fortune would be nice. And now he's a Duke." There was a hungry flicker in her eyes and Jane shook her head.

"Poor fellow." She said and I giggled.

"Next I welcome a new member of my council who has no family relation. Yes I understand customs and the rules, but what are rules if they are not meant to be broken once or twice?" The King smiled at the guests. "Sir Bennet please." Papa coughed and then stood and smiled slightly. He placed his hands behind his back to hide his jittering hands as we all exchanged glances of surprise with each other. "Sir Bennet has proven to be a very loyal and _valuable_ member to this country. We have grown to be quite good friends and I think his views and ideas about the country could be useful to me and my country. Therefore I have given Sir Bennet the duty of being the Duke of Nottingham." The room erupted in noise. People were shocked and words flew around the room as we sat back completely flabbergasted. Papa's false smile remained on his face but his eyes were blank. He could not hear the comments that were made.

"What could he have possibly done to deserve a rank as high as that?" One lady said to her husband.

"From a Baron to a Duke, this has never been seen before." A man shook his head with disapproval.

"You don't suppose he's the one who got rid of Lord Norfolk?" A woman mumbled close by.

"But why would he be promoted?" Her companion asked staring at Papa's face.

"Why indeed!" The woman raised her eyebrows. "I heard that they shared feelings for a woman."

"They loved the same woman?" Her companion said shocked. "You don't suppose the King would stoop so low as to kill his dearest friend?"

"I shall say no more for that would be treason, but I'll say this. Two months into war and his _dear_ friend goes missing? It is too much of a coincidence don't you agree?" They turned back to Papa and eyed him suspiciously. I looked up at my father's face with horror. There was no way he could have killed someone. Why would he want to kill someone? Would he do it for this position? Was he really a man so selfish? Did I truly know the man who raised me and was my closest friend?

"Now now everyone. I know it is exciting. But let us drink to our two new council members." The King raised his glass to his cousin first and then to Papa. They nodded to each other and everyone drank. "Lastly I am happy to announce that I will be getting married in the month of August." The chatter instantly erupted again only there was a happier tone to it. People started shouting and asking who the woman was. He grinned from ear to ear at all the applause and cheer that was in the room. "All will be revealed shortly but in the meantime let us raise a cup to the new year which will bring new changes and a new life for all. May God Bless us. Waes Hail!"

"Drinc Hail!" Everyone replied lifting their glasses and toasting to the new year.


	7. Chapter 7

**Eleven**

"There it is!" I exclaimed as I turned back to look in the carriage. Selling the house and packing all of our things had been a nightmare. It had taken us almost a fortnight to get everything ready. Papa left with the animals days prior and Momma ran around like a headless chicken for the remainder. Lydia had threatened to give her a sleeping draught if she didn't calm down. Charlotte and I just stayed up in our room and slowly packed away all of our dresses. Moving to Nottingham castle was the most stressful task I have ever endured but it was also the most exciting. I was going to live in a castle. Every girl my age would be plagued with jealousy.

Nottinghamshire was a large trade city due to the river Trent which flowed from York to London, passing through Nottinghamshire. Here people would stop and pay a toll to continue on through to London or York, trading their cheaper wool before stopping in London to make their larger profits. We came from the south side and passed over the river Leen, which met the river Trent on its left side, and headed west through the town. People watched us curiously. Our train was 9 wagons long, plus our carriage. There were 10 guards who had accompanied us and there were a few dogs running behind the last carriage. I smiled and waved at the townspeople. Some smiled back, a few children jumped and waved but most just scowled and watched us pass by. A feeling of unease sat in my stomach.

As we passed St Mary's Church the castle gatehouse came into view. The castle sat on a cliff side, with tall walls and our family sigil was painted onto a flag that flew from a tall tower. We passed quickly through the tall solid oak doors and into the outer bailey. It was a field of white with small pathways to the different guard towers. There was a small boy throwing a stick for his mutt to chase. When he spotted us he got up and ran to the castle gates shouting whist jumping up and down. The gates opened immediately and he smiled and waved as we rode through.

As we rode into the inner bailey we were met by a flurry of people. It was like a small town in here. There was a a large two story stable to my left with a little chicken coop. Beside it were the gates to the inner ward where we would be staying. Along the wall to my right was the servant's quarters. Here is where the soldiers and staff would sleep. When the our servants and soldiers would share their quarters when the King's staff, for the Inner Bailey was where the King would reside on his visit. Richard's Tower was built for King Richard the Lion heart. It was solely for the king. At the base of the tower was the king's sitting room. The second floor was a small library and study and the third floor of the tower was his bed chambers accompanied with a bathing room. There were two buildings just outside the doors to Richard's Tower, one was the King's kitchen and the other was the small Hall where he would hold meetings. Both were dark and silent for the King was in London. Beside the small hall was the chapel and the priest's house where Fr. Robert would hold mass when the King visited.

We climbed out of the carriage and marveled at our new home. It was beautiful. There was a frozen fountain in the corner and there were wrapped shrubs all along the left wall. The workers stopped and bowed to us and we all glanced at each other with shock. One boy stepped forward and bowed again.

"Please my Lady. Follow me." He said clutching his hat tightly in his hands.

"What is your name boy?" Momma said.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy. But they call me Will." He said with a blush. Fitz meant bastard which would explain the blush on his face. When he looked up his dark brown eyes caught mine and I couldn't help but smile. There were freckles all over his nose and his brown hair was pushed flat due to his hat.

"Well William it is very nice to meet you." Momma said and he smiled. We followed him through the gates to the Inner Ward. The gates closed behind us and Will smiled.

"This is the inner ward. Those doors lead into your quarters." Will explained pointing to the oak doors that replicated the gatehouse doors. In the middle of each door a swan had been carved into the wood. "They were just put in yesterday." He said to me, noticing my stare. "This large building is the great hall." The later Lord Nottingham never used this room." He pushed open the heavy doors and showed us the long room with a large stone fireplace at the back of the room. Off to the left side, almost directly in the middle of the wall was a door. Will told us that it led to the third Chapel where our Sunday Masses were held. He showed us two secret doors. They were made of the same wood paneling that the walls were and aligned perfectly with each stone. They were completely undetectable. He pointed out a small notch in a stone where the servants would pull the doors open and slip through. The door beside the fireplace led to the brewery and the one on the left wall beside the fireplace led to the kitchen. Beside the brewery was the third chapel and this one was for the parties and balls. The priest would hold a small service and would come and say Grace before the meal was to be served.

When we excited the great hall Will led us through the swan doors and into the courtyard. Here we were met by a sea of faces all standing in front of the steps to the West wing. There were hundreds of people smiling at us. Papa stood at the front of the group with the biggest smile. As we approached they all bent and bowed to us. Papa reached out his hands and kissed Momma gently.

"Well?" He said and she looked around.

"It's beautiful." I said. And he kissed my cheek.

"It's very big." Momma said with a nod. "I'm afraid I wont know what to do with myself."

"Oh my dear there is so much to occupy oneself. Come." He looped his arm through hers and led her through the doors. He took us on a tour, up the grand staircase and to the North Wing where Charlotte, Lydia and I would sleep. We each had our own rooms. Each room came with a large goose feather mattress and the softest blankets my hands had ever felt. There was a fireplace in each room and a vanity with a looking glass attached. We all shared a dressing room and a bathing room. But each wall was dedicated to one of us and the third wall had large windows that overlooked the fields below. We shared a sitting room and there was a secret passage way at the end of the hallway which led to the bakery and the kitchen below. The Kitchen and bakery was one room but was divided by a single white sheet. It was the largest bakery and kitchen I had ever seen.

Next was the West wing. Papa showed us the Library with floor to ceiling bookshelves full of books. There were winding iron staircases on both sides of the room with balconies that wrapped around the whole room for three floors. It was breathtaking. In the middle of the room was three cushioned benches and on the back wall was a large stone fireplace with two large windows on both sides. Next to the library was the dinning hall.

East Wing was last and that was where Momma and Papa would sleep. At Nottingham Castle the Duke and Duchess did not share a bed, so naturally Momma got the larger bedchamber and Papa the smaller. Their rooms were the same as ours only they had their own dressing rooms and bathing rooms. There sitting room was in between their two rooms and it had its own library on the back wall. I sat on a cushioned bench and marveled at the high ceilings and the carpets floors.

"Can you believe we live here?" Lydia said sitting on the adjacent bench. I shook my head. Words could not even begin to describe the way I felt. I was in awe and wonder at this place and also the fact that it was mine. It was marvelous and extravagant, yet old and spooky. So many generations of men lived amongst these walls. It had so much to tell.

"Come my darlings. You must change and get ready for supper." Papa said excitedly as Momma floated around the room touching the mantel of the large fireplace and feeling the stones in the walls. "There are many people that you need to meet." He clapped his hands and shoed us out of their apartment. We stood outside the bedroom door and looked at each other.

"Want to race?" Lydia said with a bold smile on her face. I looked at Charlotte and she smiled. I looked back at Lydia and she took off with a bolt.

"Lydia!" I screeched. "That is unfair!" Charlotte laughed and took off after Lydia leaving me to trail along behind.

Sissy dressed us all quickly in dinner gowns Charlotte wore green and I wore pink. She braided two small braids at the front of our heads, pinning them in the back. She placed a silver chain linked wimple around our heads, resting them in middle of our foreheads and smiled. Then she sent us on our way. Lydia was dressed in Jane's blue gown that she wore to the Coronation, with her long brown hair curled down around her shoulders and a necklace with a large teardrop pearl on it. I stared at her and felt a pang of jealousy.

"Where did you get that?" I said touching the necklace gently.

"Jane gave it to me for Christmas." She said with a smug smile. I scowled at her.

"I didn't see her give that to you." I crossed my arms. "And why haven't you worn it since."

"There wasn't an occasion." She shrugged and headed down the grand staircase.

"We went to the New Year Ball last month." I said and then I heard Sissy hiss at me from the top of the stairs. I inhaled deeply and put a smile on my face. At the bottom of the steps we heard a rustling from a door close by.

"I've forgotten what room that is." Lydia said pausing on the bottom step.

"That would be the dinning hall My Lady." A man said appearing beside the staircase. He was an older gentleman with a clean shaven face and short cropped graying hair. He smiled with a perfect set of teeth and there was something about him that made me feel safe.

"Thank you sir." Lydia said nodding to him.

"I am no sir." The man said with a smile. "You may call me Henry. I am the butler."

"What is a butler?" I asked him. He blinked at me in wonder and then smiled.

"A butler is in charge of looking after your poor old father." Papa said appearing from the door in question. There was a smile on his face but his eyes held worry and I wasn't the only one to notice.

"Papa?" Lydia asked descending down the stairs with haste. "What is it?" I looked at Charlotte and we raced after her.

"Thank you Henry." I called back and he smiled and bowed again before continuing on down the hall.

"It's Jane." Momma said passing Lydia the letter in her hands. "She has gone into her birthing chambers. Fear was all over Momma's face and I frowned.

"Is this not good news?" I said taking the letter and noting that it was not Jane's writing.

"It is too early." Momma said. She turned to a young woman who stood behind her and she started giving orders to pack up a trunk and to get a carriage ready.

"May I accompany you Momma?" Lydia asked. Momma looked at Papa and he sighed.

"More hands might be better Mary." He said.

"Very well. Instruct Lady Lydia's chambermaids to pack her things as well. We'll leave in an hour."

"Can I go as well?" I asked watching them leave the room.

"I need you here my darling." Papa said placing his hand on my shoulder. "You wouldn't leave your old Papa here with all these strangers now would you?" I looked up at my father and sighed.

"Alright Papa."

"Come. Caroline and her girls have created a beautiful supper for us." Three young men stepped out of the shadows of the room and pulled the chairs out for us. Then they disappeared into the walls and came back with bowls of soup. I looked at Charlotte and her eyes widened.

"Papa?" He looked up at me and smiled. "How many servants are there?" I tried to whisper so I wouldn't cause offence but the man behind me coughed.

"In total about one hundred servants." My eyes widened and I looked at Charlotte.

"One Hundred!" I gasped.

"Well think. At the old house we had at least 30 servants. The cook, the cook's assistant, the guards, the squires, the stable boys, the serving girls, sissy." He paused and looked pensive. "I think that's it."

"What about Tad?" I asked his face popped into my head less and less these days. At the beginning I could hear his voice perfectly but then, as time passed, even his face was starting to fade.

"Well I included Tad in the stable boys." Papa said with an uncomfortable cough. Our dinner of roasted chicken and baked potatoes with fresh peas and a loaf of bread was placed on the table. As we ate and talked the sky darkened and the fireplaces roared. Dessert was a berry pie with whipped cream on top. Charlotte and I exchanged glances of pure joy and wonder as we started to eat the delicious dish. Papa laughed when he noticed our empty plates a moment later.

"Would you two like a second helping?" He asked and when we both nodded excitedly he turned to the man behind him and he disappeared with our food.

"One helping should be enough." Momma's voice came from the door way. "We don't need glutenous girls who cant fit into their ball gowns." She sat at the end of the table, across from Papa and placed a napkin on her lap.

"Oh Mary. It's a special occasion." Papa said winking at me. Lydia sauntered in wearing her blue dress and sat beside me, copying Momma by placing a napkin on her lap. She lifted her glass delicately and a servant filled it with wine. I looked at Momma and Papa and they exchanged a glance of concern. "What time shall you leave in the morning?" He asked Momma.

"I was rather hoping to leave tonight."

"No Mary! It is too dangerous." Papa said with a crease in his forehead.

"I cannot leave her suffering alone." Momma said, her eyes watering.

"What if we send a note with news of your arrival tomorrow. That will give her hope and she'll push through the night." Papa smiled slightly but we all knew he was worried. Momma shook her head and wiped her eyes with the napkin. "It is also our first night at the castle." He said quietly. "We must meet our people."

"What of our daughter? When did servants become more important than blood?" Momma's voice raised and the room went quiet. Papa sat with his lips pressed together for a moment and then sighed.

"You know when a woman gets married she is her husband's responsibility." Momma's mouth opened with protest but Papa cut her off. "You have a duty to these people, which you agreed to when you married me. I will not allow you to make a fool out of me or my family." He snapped and Momma's face went red. Lydia, Charlotte and I studied our hands in our laps until there was a knock at the door and Momma's meal was sent in. As soon as it was placed in front of her she turned it away. Papa clenched the napkin in his hand and inhaled deeply. Lydia picked at her meal and Charlotte and I were suddenly full when our desserts were delivered. 10 minutes of silence passed before Papa spoke and he asked the boy behind him to get the staff and invite them to the sitting room for tea. Dishes were cleared away rather quickly and Papa led the way to the sitting room where he placed us in specific seating. Momma sat between Lydia and I on a cushioned bench, Charlotte sat in an arm chair by the window and Papa stood by the fire. It was a very obvious staged setting and yet the staff strode through the doors as if this were normal.

"Ah yes. Come in and meet my family." They 10 people bowed to us and I glanced back at Charlotte who smirked. "Let me introduce my wife, Lady Nottingham, my daughters, Lady Lydia and Lady Elizabeth and my ward, Miss Charlotte." They bowed again and even smiled at us. "My darlings," Papa said turning to us. "Let me introduce you to our staff." Papa went down the line of characters in our new story. I was horrible for remembering names, but I rarely forgot a face.

First was Lord Chamberlain Robert London. He was a tall lanky man with a wisp of black hair and a long pointy nose. When he stepped forward and smiled his teeth were horrendously crooked and his small green eyes were dull. His only saving grace was his lisp he enhanced for our entertainment. He was in charge of our parties and events.

Next was Ben and Caroline. Ben was the baker and Caroline was the cook. They were older, about the same age of my parents. Ben had graying short hair, a small black moustache and bright blue eyes. Caroline was very short with graying orange hair that she wore under a starched white cap. Her eyes were brown and there were freckles on her nose. She looked kind but when she glanced at Ben there was a fury in her gaze and his matched hers. The two were always at a crossroad, I later learned, they hated sharing a room which is why they put up the white sheet. Charlotte was convinced that they were secretly in love with each other.

We met Henry the butler, he bowed and smiled with a wink. Then Joseph the candlemaker, Lord Treasurer Rowland, who was in charge of the money, Seamus the red headed marshal who was in charge of the stables and Helen our head laundress.

Next was Phil. When he stepped forward and removed his cap Momma gasped and Lydia and I exchanged glances. For this man dressed in brown trousers and a green tunic was in fact a woman. She was young, a few years passed Jane, with long dark hair and tanned skin. Her eyes were brown and there was a mole just beside her nose. She wasn't ugly but she wasn't a pretty girl either.

"My name is Phillippa." She explained with a scottish accent. "And during the summer I am the head gardener. During the winter I work the stables. Both things are a man's job so I am required to wear these garments. Fear not m'lady I will stay out of the way when guests have arrived and shall not reveal myself to any but your highnesses." Momma looked at Papa and he smiled with amusement.

"Of course. It only makes sense that you would dress this…way." Momma said taking in her outfit one more time. She swallowed her judgments and smiled at her.

"This is my Steward, George Wickham." Papa said placing a hand on a young man's shoulder. He was only a few year older than Jane and pleasantly handsome. He had shoulder length blonde hair with bright blue eyes and a perfect smile. He bowed with a certain elegance and when he smiled my breath evaded me. He was tall and lean and I couldn't find one flaw. He carried a sword at his side and a dagger in his boot, the hilt was clearly visible. He smiled at Papa and then he gaze landed on Lydia. I looked at her and her cheeks burst with red.

"Such a beautiful family you have sir." He said with this voice that was as smooth as water. I looked at Momma and she was enchanted by him.

"George is going to help me manage the castle and town. He is my advisor."

"Such a big job for a man so young." Momma said with a smile but her cool blue eyes narrowed at him. He smiled and stood straighter.

"I was trained from a young age by the Former Duke of Nottingham, my lady."

"He had a boy for an advisor?" She asked and he smiled back, hiding the discomfort of being scrutinized in front of an audience.

"He had other, _older_ advisors until I turned the age of 18 years. He thought I was ready by that point." He said proudly.

"Was he right?" She asked and the room went eerily quiet.

"He was indeed." George smiled broadly as Papa laughed.

"He's perfect for the job, don't you think Mary?" Papa said clapping him on the back. There was something in the way Momma was questioning him and the way he was responding that made me unsettled. My stomach churned when he smiled at Papa. He looked like a cat right before it was about to catch a mouse.

Papa invited the staff to sit and have a drink with us. Most of them refused and went back to work. Henry stayed as did Phil and George. Charlotte and I talked with Henry about the castle and he told us a few funny stories about market days in the past. Nottingham was famous for it's weekend markets. Friday afternoon people passing from York to London would stop in and sell some of their goods. It was one big celebration that night. He talked of the fresh baked cakes and the pies, the sheep and the pigs, the drunks and the fools. Charlotte and I looked at each other and then begged Papa to take us to the next market.

George stood in the corner talking with Papa and Momma while Lydia talked with Phil. He was constantly glancing at her but she stood with her back to him. Only she stood taller and was holding herself to firmly that she was shaking a little. I raised my eyebrows and nudged Charlotte who shook her head and we laughed. Momma announced bed time an hour later and the three of us bid our "fair wells" and headed up the stairs.

As our new chambermaids undressed us and brushed our hair Lydia started to hum. Charlotte giggled and I shook my head.

"I think he fancies you Lydia." She blinked at me through her looking glass and raised her eyebrows.

"Who?" She said pretending to be unaware of what I was saying. I rolled my eyes.

"George of corse."

"Oh him." She shrugged. "I was the only woman in that room close enough to his age."

"Phillippa is close to his age." Charlotte argued and Lydia blushed.

"Charlotte, with the way she dresses." She paused, "It is not men she fancies."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, her heart goes to people with much rounder chests." The chambermaids all snickered and Lydia smiled proudly.

"What you speak of is a sin!" I gasped and Lydia rolled her eyes.

"Oh Lizzie. So young and nieve." She patted my head as she passed by my chair. "Sometimes men love men and women love women. There's nothing you can do of it."

"But it's illegal." I said and she stopped at her bedroom door.

"A lot of things are illegal." She smiled a wicked smile. "But you only have to worry if you get caught." She let it sink in and then blew us a kiss. "Good night my darlings." She said in that annoying pretend grown up voice she had taken to using and then disappeared into her room. I said goodnight to Charlotte and laid in bed for an hour, tossing and turning. I kept seeing George's snakelike smile and imagining Phil getting her head cut off. There was a quiet knock on my door and Charlotte's little face peeked through the door.

"I cant sleep." She peeped.

"I can't sleep either." I said and she jumped into my large bed and we lay their looking at the stone ceiling.

"Do you think Phil really does prefer women to men?" She whispered.

"I don't know." I said honestly. "If she does she leads a very scary life." We fell into silence thinking about her.

"Lizzie?"

"Yea?"

"What if…I'm like that?" Charlotte asked with worry in her voice. I turned and looked at her and then smiled.

"Don't be silly Charlotte. You cant be like that."

"Why not?" She looked at me with her big green eyes and I smiled and touched her cheek.

"Because you're like me. I don't prefer women and you don't prefer women."

"But what if I grow up to prefer…a woman's company?" There were tears in her eyes. I pulled her close to me and hugged her tight.

"Oh Charlotte. If you grow up to love women, which you won't, you'll still be my Charlotte. My little cousin and closest friend." I said kissing her forehead. She sighed and I felt a tear on my neck as she fell asleep.

A month later we awoke to the sound of a rooster. The chambermaids came in pulled back the curtains and smiled at our sleepy faces.

"Are you never going to sleep in your own bed Charlotte?" Betty said. She was a young maid with Blonde curly hair that stuck out despite her cap.

"It's what we are used to." I said and the two women smiled at us.

"Well it saves us from making up another bed." She laughed.

Momma and Lydia had left bright and early the morning after we moved in and so far Jane still had not had her baby. She was getting a lot of rest and it was driving her insane, or so she wrote to me. Momma was constantly fluffing her pillows and Lydia was constantly complaining about how bored she was. So Jane was not too happy at the moment.

We were served breakfast in our sitting room and we dressed in warm blue gown with long sleeves and a thick white stockings. We wore our black leather boots and Charlotte's hair was let down with a blue bow at the top of her head, where as my hair was in a braided bun, laced with a blue ribbon and a silver fillet sat across my forehead. They were painfully annoying but I was a nobel lady now and this is how a nobel lady must dress.

We wore our dark blue winter coats and walked out into the cold spring air. It was the middle of March now and the snow was just starting to melt. The courtyard was alive with people going in and out. Lord Chamberlain was standing with George and Papa looking at the Great Hall.

"I'm afraid it's going to need a new roof My Lord." He said and Papa sighed.

"Where is Rowland?" Papa said to George. "Do we even have enough money for this?"

"I can be done My Lord." George said in his smooth voice. "Leave it to me."

"Good morning Papa." I said startling all three of the men.

"Ah my darling. Good morning." He kissed my head and then smiled at Charlotte. She was still a little weary of being touched. "How was your sleep? Did you eat yet?"

"We had a small meal this morning but we are not hungry. Will said he would show us the caves today." I said excitedly. Papa's smile faded and he shook his head.

"You've been spending a lot of time with his Will boy."

"He's my friend." I said wounded.

"He's a bastard." George added and I scowled at him. The more he talked the more I hated him. I was starting to notice things that clearly no one else was seeing. The hunger in his eyes was also in his smile. His nostrils flared when ever he was talking to Papa and he scowled a lot when he thought no one was looking.

"He's my FRIEND!" I said again and George smiled at me.

"Lizzie it isn't proper to be…friendly with a bastard when you are of nobility."

"I wasn't of nobility two months ago. Would it have been proper then? You had no problem with me talking to Tad!" I snapped and Papa's cheeks went red.

"I will not have my daughter talk to me this way!" He said, word he learned from George after I had scolded Papa for taking away my horse. I bit my tongue and stood back. I knew I would be locked in my room if I dare say a word. "Besides you have a dancing lesson today."

"Oh no! Not again Papa please!" I begged. He looked down at me with fury and I sighed. "Alright Papa." I said.

"Good girls. Now run along. Don't be late." He smiled with tired eyes and we turned and sulked into the great hall.

"I like our dancing lessons." Charlotte said.

"That's because you are good at them." I whined. "This huge castle and we haven't had a chance to explore it yet. Doesn't that make you want to scream?"

"Not really." Charlotte said with a shrug and we were met by the strong smell of Maxine, our dancing instructor.

"Good morning little birds." She said and I rolled my eyes. She was always so sweet at the start and then she got mean and angry, especially when I stepped on her toes. I sighed as the minstrel in the corner began to play a painfully familiar tune. "Back's straight and one two three. One two three."

An hour later there was a knock at the door and the music stopped. Maxine was red with fury. I had messed up the steps again and she was claiming that I better pray to St Jude for learning to dance was indeed a lost cause.

The person knocked again three loud raps and Maxine gritted her teeth "what is it?" She snapped! The door creaked open a bit and will stuck only his head through the door. He stared down at the floor and his cheeks were red. "Well? What is it boy?" He jumped and opened the door. He placed his hands behind his back clutching his hat tightly in his grasp and coughed nervously.

"Lord Nottingham wishes to speak with his daughter." Will said sticking his chest in. The air with pride as he relaid a message. I smirked and thought about how cute he was with his wild brown hair and the light freckles on his nose. He looked at me and I blushed.

"You better get a move on. Don't keep your father waiting! Especially now that he's a duke." She mumbled as I scurried out of the room. I frowned at Charlotte but she just shrugged and gave me a quick wave.

"So what am I in trouble for now?" I asked will as I wrapped my black fur cloak around my shoulders. It had started snowing again, light tiny flakes but the sun was out and it made the almost empty courtyard look magical.

"Nothing. I thought I would rescue you from MAXINE!" He said with a cringe and we both giggled.

"I'll surely get in trouble is papa finds me." I said looking up at the house.

"That's why I'm going to show you the caves." He said with a mischievous grin. I felt the flutter of excitement fill my belly as he grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen door. He poked his head through the door and then pulled me into the kitchen shutting e door behind him. "Quickly!" He hissed and led me me past the wooden table and stopped at stone fireplace.

"What are we doing here?" I whispered. He smirked at me and then took a rock out of the fireplace. He placed his hand into the hole and pulled a string. The wall popped open and I gasped. He smiled and then we both jumped as the kitchen door creaked open. Caroline came in whistling. Will pushed me through the door and quietly shut it behind us. We were frozen solid in pitch darkness listening to any sign of someone headed our way. When Will finally exhaled I knew we were ok. I couldn't see him but I could feel the heat from his movements beside me. "Will I cant see anything!" I whined. I heard two rocks being banged together and then their was a spark. Light appeared with haste and I turned away from its harshness. Will smiled proudly at me and I shook my head.

"Are you going to tell me what we're doing in the caves?"

"Have you ever heard the story of Robin Hood?" He said with a flicker of excitement in his eyes. I smiled and shook my head. "Well then let me tell you." He headed off down the hall with a dramatic glide. I laughed and then chased after him.

"Hundred of years ago, during the rule of Richard the lion heart, Nottingham was not the happy beautiful place you see today."

" I can't really see anything at the moment." He frowned at me and I giggled and apology.

"As I was saying during this time Richard the Lionheart was king and he hated England."

"He hated England? He was the king!" I said with shock.

"He still hated it. He spent most of his time in France. He hated our food and our weather. He even hated speaking English. He had a negative attitude about England and and when he heard the pope needed an army he left as fast as he could. He became the pops assassin in the war against the Muslims."

"The crusades?" I asked and he smiled with a nod.

"Thousands were killed and wounded and on his journey home King Richard was taken captive in Germany. The price of his ransom of was three times the prime of the royal crown. His youngest brother, Prince John, told his mother is was too much but she didn't listen. When he heard she was going to pay it he tried to bribe the Germans to keep his brother. But alas they freed him and he made his way home, at least that's what he should have done.

Once he was freed he avenged his defeats and took back the French towns and castles he had lost. During a battle he was hit in the shoulder with a narrow and died. Heart broken and nearly bankrupt the king's mother named her youngest son the new king.

King John was now faced with the horrible task of making the crown wealthy again. And his biggest struggle was that he was not a people person. He decided that increasing the taxes would be a good way to make the money back. But of course the people hated this idea. People could barely support themselves after the wars in France. He was a liar and he was constantly abusing the nobels by taking their money and their wives."

"Their wives?" I said horrified.

"He would give them back, just took them." He said with more emphasis on the word took. I stared at him confused and he sighed. "You know Lizzie. Like when two people get married the first night of their marriage is when he would take them." I was still so confused I stood thinking about it and then realized he meant sex! I stared at him with shock and felt my cheeks turn red. He nodded with raised eyebrows and smiled. "Exactly."

"That's awful!" I said shaking my head and trying to get rid of the unease in my stomach.

"People were in an uproar. And thus the greatest outlaw was created." He stopped and peaked around a corner, handing me the flame. "Stay here." He said and before I could answer he disappeared. I went to follow him but heard the linking of keys and stood frozen. They were moving closer and closer and then the man coughed. I felt as if my heat was going to burst from my chest. Just as the man was about to come into view will grabbed my arm and stuck the torch in the dirt letting it go out. He pressed me up against the wall and covered my mouth with his hand. I could see nothing but my ears could hear everything. The guard walked by carrying a small flame, half asleep, buried in his own thoughts. He didn't even notice the unwashed boy pushed against the girl dressed in the blue silk gown. He just marched on by without a care or concern. The hall went dark again.

"That was close!" Will said releasing my mouth.

"He didn't even see us!"

"They never do. You could jump up and down in front of them and they would never notice." I stared at them horrified! So far will had shown me two flaws in our castle. The secret passageways led right into the castle walls so any murderous outlaw could come in and kill us in our sleep. And the guards would make the way even easier for them.

"I must tell papa about this." I said as will handed me a bundle of fabric. I studied it as he lit the flame again. "What is this?"

"Clothes." He said checking down the hallway.

"Clothes?" I asked confused and studied he harsh brown material. "What for?"

"You can't wear that where we are going." He said looking at my dress. I stared at him with shock.

"You want me to wear these?"

"Yes your highness!" He laughed his preadolescent laugh.

"And what do you suppose I do with the clothes I'm wearing?"

"Leave them here."

"Leave them!" I shouted and he hissed at me. "Don't you see the problem with this idea?" He rolled his eyes. "My papa will surely wonder where my new clothes cam from seeing as I'm supposed to be at dance lessons and then with my tutor. And if I were to change into my original clothes, which would take hours and would surely be dirty from all...this-" I waved my arms around the hallway. "He would be curious as to how I became so dirty."

"Leave your silly clothes on then. It's not going to be my funeral." He said exasperated. I rolled my eyes at his short temper.

"I'm going back!" I said with a huff.

"Lizzie wait!" He grabbed my hand and sighed. "Just wear the cloak then. And the cap." He reached into the bundle and dropped the brown scratchy dress on the floor. He handed me a large brown cloak that I tied around my neck and best and wrapped my arms around my body. I looked at the cap with curiosity and Will sighed. He placed it on my head, rather aggressively, and tied it behind my head. He looked me over and sighed. "Let's go." He turned the corner and headed down the sloping hallway.

"So who is this great outlaw you were talking about?" I asked trying to defuse our tempers.

"His name was Robin Hood!" Will said excited once again. "He would rob from the rich and give to the poor." As Will led me through the caves, past the cells with shouting prisoners and the sleeping guards, he told me of this Robin Hood.

Legend says that this man was a yeomen, a working class man, who fought for king Richard during the crusades. After experiencing disturbing things he returned home and joined forces with a group of men who lived in Sherwood Forest. This forest was royal property therefore no one was allowed to hunt or cut down trees without the kings permission. Since the king was in German custody, the sheriff was in charge of all of Nottingham.

The taxes were raised and the bandits grew rapidly. Robin returned to a city that was full of violence and lacked authority. He and his band of what were called "merry men" robbed constantly from the sherif and the other rich nobels in the area and gave back to those struggling to survive. As we passed a large wooden door Will stopped and told about the one time Robin stole from st. Mary's church. He threatened the friar's li and got away. But weeks later the friar recognized him in a crowd and set e guards on him. He killed 12 guards before he was finally arrested. The guards through him in the oubliette, which was on the other side of this thick wooden door, and left him there to rot. An oubliette was a wine bottle shaped hole in the floor where prisoners were sent but never came out of. They were left to starve or go mad.

Friar Tuck, the one who had turned him in, became aware of who had robbed him and set out to free him. With the help of the merry men and a long rope they got Robin out of the oubliette and were forever friends. Friar Tuck remained at St Mary's church but acted as a spy for Robin.

The wolf heads (know as this for having bounties on their heads) tees and became stronger than ever. Among Robin's merry men were Little John who was said to be as tall as 7 ft and was a master with the quarter staff. He was Robin's right hand man, his closest confidant. Then there was William Scathelocke who was a pick pocketer and was highly skilled at picking locks. He was also Robin's nephew and after killing his fathers steward he was exiled to Sherwood Forest where he joined forces with his uncle. Allen A Dale was the minstrel, singing of Robin's amazing tricks and talents and of his glorious victories against Prince john and e sheriff of Nottingham. It wasn't too long before Robin Hood became the god of the Nottingham people.

As we exited the cave we were met by blinding white light and the sound of the rushing river below. Will grabbed my hand and led me down the rocky cliffs to the snow covered grown below. We were outside the town. I blinked at the sunlight and all the open field and was shocked at how many little cottages were located on the riverside. I had never noticed them before.

"Come on. I have to show you something." He led me into the forest and after hearing the tales of Robin Hood and his bandits I was feeling more adventurous. We raced through the trees and through the snow drifts and came out onto a field f white with a large stone in the middle. Will raced to the stone and touched it gently.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's the motto of Robin Hood." He smiled at he stone and I read the words. Rise and rise again, until the lamb becomes the lion.

We walked back casually to the castle after about an hour of playing in the snow and pretending to be Robin Hood. Will showed me a passageway that led right to my bedroom. We bid farewell and agreed to meet there again the next day after lessons. Papa never suspected a thing at supper and asked me how dance lessons had went. Charlotte and I shared a secret smile and when I told her of my adventure she was eager to hear more. She made up excuses for me every day that week and the next week.

One day I entered my room laughing at the story of Robin Hood and Little John fighting on the bridge and then becoming friends. I washed my face with a wet cloth and took out the pins in my hair to let my curls fall and to take the messy wild look away. As I exited my bedchamber I almost stopped breathing when papa coughed from the window seat.

He looked me up and down with a face of disapproval. He didn't speak and I could barely control my breathing let alone say anything. After a minute I smiled and said.

"Oh papa I'm feeling much better. You didn't need to check on me." He blinked at me and there was a glimmer of surprise in his eyes. He looked down at his hands and sighed.

"Pack your things." I panicked horrified that I was being sent away. I almost started apologizing but he spoke. "Jane has given birth to a son and we must be there by the days end for the christening tomorrow. He stood up and walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the door and turned to me. "You're still my girl right Lizzie?" He said with a look of sadness.

"Of course Papa." I said with a smile and felt a pang of guilt as he shut the door behind him. I knew what that look was. I had never lied to him before. I had never done anything to defy him. But he had never been so careless with my feelings either. Will was my friend and I was not going to stop being his friend because Of his lineage. And if that meant hurting Papa then so be it.

I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time I didn't see a little girl who was constantly seeking ways to please my elders. I saw a strong confident 11 year old who knew what she wanted and would do anything to get it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Twelve**

"Look Flynn! Watch the butterfly!" I said holding my 5 month old nephew on my lap in the outer ballium fields. Charlotte lay in the grass looking up at the clouds. Flynn blinked from under his white bonnet completely unaware of the butterfly in the distance. He studied his small chubby fingers and then placed them in his mouth. His bright blue eyes squinted and then tears filled his eyes and he let out a howl. Charlotte turned her head and raised her eyebrows.

"I think he's hungry Lizzie." She said wincing at his high pitched shrieks.

"He just ate." I yelled over his voice. I grabbed his little hands and looked into his wailing mouth. There were tears rolling down his face. "What happened baby?" I asked and unrolled his little fingers. In the middle of his palm was a squished wasp and a bright red dot in the centre of his palm. "He's been stung!" I said and brushed the dead wasp away and sucked on the dot to get the stinger out.

"What's happened?" Will appeared from the walls and studied us curiously. His voice startled me. His voice was deep and he sounded like a man now. He was a little taller but he still looked the same. I was taken back as he knelt down in front of Flynn.

"He's been stung by a wasp." I explained as I tried to sooth the sobbing baby on my lap. He studied the baby's palm and then looked around at the grass. He pulled a slinky green plant from the ground and squished the liquid from the stem onto the baby's palm. He rubbed it into his hand and within minutes the baby stopped crying to loudly and then it turned into a light whimper. I stared at my friend with wonder.

"What did you do?" Charlotte asked. She rarely spoke to Will but she was starting to become more comfortable with him. He was still shocked that she had a voice.

"It's the aloe plant. It heals burns and stings."

"Is it magic?" I asked studying Flynn's hand. The red dot was still there but he was no longer crying. Flynn laughed and shook his head.

"It's medicine, or so Sadie has told me." He said proudly and I scowled.

"That old witch! You shouldn't listen to her." I scolded.

"Why?" He looked offended. "Because your father is stuck in the old ways and doesn't want to accept that there are new ways of healing people that actually work?" He snapped. I scowled at him. He was becoming very outspoken when it came to my father and majority of the time he was right in what he spoke of. But he still spoke of my father and the only one who was allowed to speak ill of my father was me. I stood up and clutching Flynn tightly to my chest I marched toward the gates.

"Oh come now Lizzie! You know I am right." Will said chasing after me. I scowled at him.

"If you want to head advice from the town fool then that's your business. But don't you go and slander my father and his beliefs. Especially if you are too afraid to say it to his face." I snapped. He turned red with anger and embarrassment. Will was always getting in trouble from papa and being a servant could never speak up. I knew that his silence had nothing to do with bravery and that he was extremely smart to keep his mouth closed. But it got the desired affect and he let Charlotte and I walk back to the castle in peace.

"That was mean!" Charlotte defended and I frowned at her.

"He needs to learn his place!" I said and then cringed. I was starting to sound exactly like my father. "Or at least not to talk about Papa that way." I added to take the harshness away. It was too late. Charlottes cheeks were pink and there was a look of disapproval in her eyes and she avoided my glance.

"Is everything alright?" Jane's voice came from the well as we entered the gates. She was pouring the water from the bucket into a painted vase for the flowers she had picked from the garden. Phil stood in the corner muttering at her "destroyed" garden. I smirked at my sister who was completely oblivious.

You would even know that she had given birth to a baby 5 months ago. She was tiny wasted and her long blonde hair was braided into a low bun that poked out from under her white coif. She wore a pale yellow dress that was tied tightly at the waist and she had rolled at the sleeves. She smiled at her plump son as I placed him in her arms. He gave a pathetic whimper and she cooed at him.

"He was stung by a wasp."

"A wasp?" She looked shocked and then worried as she checked her sons condition.

"He tried to eat it." Charlotte said and i cringed as Jane gave me a disapproving glance.

"You were supposed to be watching him Elizabeth." Momma' disapproving voice came from the courtyard gates. I grounded inwardly.

"I was watching him. I was playing with him. I didn't even see a wasp flying around."

"You were probably too busy talking to young William weren't you?" Jane said with a smirk. I blushed and looked at the ground.

"No she was watching the butterflies." Charlotte said trying to defend my honour but only succeeding in getting me a further lecture from my mother. She stood giving me a ten minute lecture on how irresponsible I was and how was my sister supposed to be comfortable with letting me near her son. Or how would I ever be able to raise children if my attention span was shorter than Flynn's. Before I could stop myself I said: that's what a wet nurse is for, right? She clouted my ear and sent me to my bedchamber. Despite being nobility she still hit me in public. I looked around and the workers had stopped to watch the commotion. My face was red and I felt tears in my eyes.

"Don't you ever speak to me that way." She hissed at me.

"Why? Because you were too weak to take care of us yourself and you don't like it being broadcasted." She stared at me horrified. I don't know what got into me but I was mad and I was on a rampage.

"I hired a wet nurse because I had too, not that it's any of your concern. I still spent hours bringing you into this world!" I felt that pang of anger and defeat. How can you compete with someone who gave you life? You are forever indebted to them. Especially when you wish you weren't.

"Come now Lizzie. Enough of this pettiness. Go wash your face and you'll calm down!" Jane's normally soothing voice was acceptionally annoying and I snapped.

"Agh!" I screamed! "I am so tired with everyone treating me as if I were a child!" I clenched my fists at my side.

"Elizabeth!" Momma said shocked.

"No! Everyone treats me as if I am a child! For God's sake, Flynn gets more respect than I do!"

"LIZZIE!" Jane hissed and I realized people were sniggering at my tantrum.

"Get to your chambers now!" Momma snapped. "When you can act like an adult we will treat you like one." The look on her face made my blood turn cold and a shiver went down my spine. I was lucky that Papa wasn't here or I'd be in a lot more trouble than I was.

As I lay in bed sobbing about the unfairness my family has put me through I thought about Papa. It had been three months since I had seen him. He had been called to the castle to help prepare for the kings wedding and had only returned home one night on his journey to Scotland. He had left the next morning before the sun had awoken.

I lay crying about all the times I had been horrible to him and how I would give anything if we were back in our old small home, without Will or Flynn or any of our servants. A pain shot through my lower stomach and I cringed. Then it happened again and again and again. I sat up and felt nauseous. I raced to my bathing room and threw up in the chamber pot. When I went to lie back down I noticed a spot of blood on my bed where I had been sitting. I studied and felt another pain ripple through my lower stomach. I reached my hand under my dress and when I pulled my hand away my finger tips were coated with blood. I stared at it horrified. I screamed so loud and didn't stop screaming until Momma was holding onto my face and yelling my name.

"Lizzie! Stop now! You're fine!" She wiped the tears from my face and rushed a cold cloth over my face. I became aware that my room was full of faces. Jane, Lydia and Charlotte plus all of our chambermaids we're stating at me with concern. Even Henry was there. Momma held me tightly as she instructed Sissy to run me a bath. She sent everyone away and helped me undress.

She explained to me that everyone girl must go through pain to become a woman and every woman must go through pain to be able to bear her husband children. Women suffer, they always have and they always will. But God is not entirely cruel and only lets us suffer for a few days before we go back to normal. She helped me into a hot bath and rubbed my shoulders as she hummed to me. She dressed me in a soft nightgown, and tied a long rag around my waist and through my legs. The fabric between my legs contained a certain type of moss that momma said was easy to wash out and would absorb all the blood. She tucked me into bed and Betsy gave me a cup of tea that put me to sleep within minutes of finishing. I felt a tear touch my forehead as she sat rocking me, muttering "my poor baby." This was what I had wished for wasn't it? To become an adult?

A week later, as Momma had predicted, the bleeding stopped and the pain was gone. I felt so relieved and happy. Nothing could possibly bother me. But during my week of bleeding I had been so cross with everyone that no one wished to speak to me. I spent most of the days in my chamber crying or complaining about how unfair life was. Lydia almost hit me across the face one day. So today was the day that I made my rounds apologizing. I spotted Will by the stables feeding the pigs and I took a deep breath and marched over to him. I had been the worst to him. He still wasn't talking to me since my comment about Papa. Every time I had tried to apologize it had gone horribly wrong and I had only made it worse.

"I am sorry for being so cruel to you Will." I said to his back. I watched his body tense at the sound of my voice. He turned to look and me and then decided against it. He patted the pig on the head and walked into the barn. I watched eh doorway where he had disappeared and when he didn't return I pouted and turned towards the house.

"What's wrong Lizzie?" Lydia asked. Jane and Lydia were sitting on a blanket in the courtyard gardens watching Flynn struggling to sit. He kept toppling over like his head was too heavy for his body. They smiled as he tilted towards Jane and she caught him.

"I'm just so ashamed of my behaviour this past week." I said joining them on the blanket. I looked back through the doors at the stables. My sisters exchanged glances and smiled.

"He'll forgive you Lizzie." Jane said.

"Why would he want to?"

"Because boys tend to listen to their hearts instead of their heads." She said in her soothing-everything-will-work-out voice.

"Depends on which head you speak of." Lydia snorted and jane shrieked and swatted at her.

"I don't understand. Men don't have two heads...do they?" I asked. Lydia laughed hysterically and the two of them couldn't stop. I sat back curious as to what was so funny.

"What's the cause for all the merriment?" George Wickham appeared beside me and smiled down at my sister. I inched away slightly and a cold shiver ran down my spine as he and Lydia exchanged flirtatious smiles. I turned to Jane but she just smiled down at the baby and gave them "privacy".

"We're just discussing the difference between men and women. Tell us Lord Steward, do men follow their heads or their hearts?" He looked stumped for a second and then gave his eery smile.

"I would say that men follow both, depending on the situation."

"Spoken like a politician." Jane teased and he laughed.

"What I mean is that it's not heard to look at a woman and tell yourself she's not available to your affections. But it is difficult to stop yourself from wanting her and trying to win her affections." He smiled at Lydia and I rolled my eyes.

"What an interesting thought." Lydia said and I gagged.

"Excuse me." I curtsied to Wickham.

"Where are you headed?" Jane asked. Since having Flynn she had inherited the mothers stare. I felt obligated to tell her.

"I'm going to bring up my breakfast if I listen to these two talk anymore." I said with a teasing nature but also with sincerity. Wickham laughed and Lydia turned scarlet red.

"Ah one day, my young lady, you will discover the feelings that adults share for each other." He said and I grimaced.

"I'd sooner die!" I said running off to the sound of his laughter.

I dashed into the house and headed towards the library where I had been reading about King Arthur and Excalibur. I opened the door and bumped into my mother. I curtsied and apologized for not paying attention. She had a note in her hand and smiled at me.

"Fetch your sisters! Our dresses came!"

"Dresses?" I asked curiously trying to see around her.

"For the wedding!" She said with excitement and pure joy. I felt the same feeling of eagerness and raced out to my sisters. I found Charlotte in the gardens with Phil discussing flowers. I told all of them of our new dresses and they, like I, rushed into the house eager to see them.

Each of our dresses were different. Papa had ordered them specially from a famous seamstress in London and had sent our measurements through note. He even bought Jane and Flynn's outfits. Momma, being the duke of Nottinghamshire's wife wore purple. It was a dark purple with a white kettle and there were blackwork vines stitched into the gown and the sleeves.

Jane being the Duchess of York worn green. Her gown had a square cut neckline and there was emeralds that lined the neckline. Her dress was dark green with a lighter green kettle and had white lace Long the long trumpet sleeves. Flynn wore a white gown with a green ribbon tied Around the waste and in his bonnet.

Lydia wore blue. She was at that age where suitors would start to notice her and her chastity was to to be displayed for all available suitors. Her dress was tight at the waste and went off her shoulders. She had white trimmings and white sleeve covers.

As for Charlotte and my dress, they were pink. Charlottes dress was a less expensive version of mine. Both had square necklines with puffed shoulders and tight sleeves to our elbows and then the sleeve opened up to trumpet sleeves. Our dresses were tight to our waist and exposed the pale pink kettle beneath. The dress had pink beads sown into flowers on the front of the bodice and then the kettle had pink thread flowers sown along the bottom of the fabric. I glanced at Charlotte and we both shared the same expression of pure joy. I had never seen anything so beautiful or elegant before. The material was beautiful and felt magnificent to the touch.

"Can I try it on?" I begged and momma smiled.

"Not today Lizzie."

"We leave tomorrow silly." Jane said running her hands over Flynn's gown. I looked at my dress and felt excitement. I was going back to the place I loved, the place I longed to live in, the castle.

The next morning I awoke to the curtains being pulled across my window. I had barely slept due to the fact that I was so excited. "Rise and shine my darlings. You've got a busy day." Charlotte and I exchanged smiles and jumped out of bed. As I pushed the blankets away I noticed an arrow stuck to the secret passage in the wall. I studied it curiously and saw that there was a note with a flower attached to it.

 _A bonny fine maid of a noble degree,_

 _With a hey down down a down down_

 _Maid Marian called by name,_

 _Did live in the North, of excellent worth,_

 _For she was a gallant dame._

 _For favour and face, and beauty most rare,_

 _Queen Hellen she did excel;_

 _For Marian then was praised of all men_

 _That did in the country dwell._

 _'Twas neither Rosamond nor Jane Shore,_

 _Whose beauty was clear and bright,_

 _That could surpass this country lass,_

 _Beloved of lord and knight._

 _The Earl of Huntington, nobly born,_

 _That came of noble blood,_

 _To Marian went, with a good intent,_

 _By the name of Robin Hood._

 _With kisses sweet their red lips meet,_

 _For she and the earl did agree;_

 _In every place, they kindly embrace,_

 _With love and sweet unity._

 _But fortune bearing these lovers a spight,_

 _That soon they were forced to part,_

 _To the merry green wood then went Robin Hood,_

 _With a sad and sorrowful heart._

I read it again and again. A warm fuzzy feeling grew in my stomach and made a smile break out on my face. "Lizzie?" Charlotte called from the dressing room. I quickly folded up the poem and tucked it under my pillow.

"What a beautiful flower. Where did you get it?" Sissy asked with a smile but suspicion on her face.

"From the garden." I said with a shrug.

"We don't grow Gardenia's in the garden." She said studying the white flower. "In fact I don't even think we grow these in England." She gleaned at me curiously. I shrugged again and smiled.

"Can I put it in my hair?"

"Wouldn't you rather put it in a vase so it doesn't die?" I studied the flower from my friend and smiled.

"I want to wear it." She sighed and nodded at me as I dashed into the changing rooms.

After two hours of packing and getting ready we were finally ready to leave. We all gathered in the entrance hall and bid farewell to the staff before following Momma out to the carriage in front. There were two carriages. Or for Momma and jane and the other for Lydia, Charlotte, Flynn and myself. As Lydia complained to mother about riding with us "children" I looked around the courtyard and spotted him standing in the shadow. I smiled slightly and turned to look Charlotte beside me but in reality I was showing Will my flower. When I turned back he raised his hand and smiled.

"Are you having a secret love affair?" Wickham appeared behind me. I jumped and Charlotte headed for the carriage.

"Of course not!" I snapped clutching my white gloved hands together. He smirked at me and I frowned. "wh-why would you think that?"

"The gardenia in your hair. It is often exchanged between secret lovers." He smiled and raised his eyebrows.

"I just thought it was pretty." I said with a shrug and walked away.

"Wickham you must ride with us." Momma called and I stopped, frozen to the ground.

"I shall exchange my seat for Lady Lydia's." He said with a smile and I caught a glimpse of Charlotte nervous face.

"No!" I said louder than needed.

"I beg your pardon?" Momma's cheeks were red with embarrassment.

"I just meant...it might not be a good idea for Charlotte." I said a silent apology to Charlotte and smiled. "Besides we need more room for Flynn and Peggy." I watched his wet nurse frown slightly. She was a rather large woman but the carriage was plenty big enough for all of us. Momma sighed and smiled at Wickham. "Well then that is settled." She nodded at Lydia and Wickham turned to me.

"Behave yourselves." He smiled and touched my cheek. "I wouldn't want to have to your father about your...admirer." I blinked at him and felt my cheeks go red. He smiled and walked away, offering his hand to Lydia as she climbed into the carriage. I turned to Will but he was gone. I took a deep breath and prepared my apologies to my two traveling companions.

"'Ve ne'er been to ve castle b'for." Peggy said cuddling the sleeping baby and watching the fields go by. "Heck! 'Ve ne'er been to a weddin' b'for, neither." Charlotte and I exchanged glances of shock.

"Never?" I asked and she shook her head.

"You're going to love the castle." Charlotte said leaning her arms on the window sill and placing her chin on them.

"It's magnificent!" I added remembering it perfectly.

"And they say the future queen is gorgeous!"

"I 'eard she's a comm'ner like me." Peggy said.

"I heard she's a French princess." Charlotte added I blinked at them.

"Papa said she's the niece of the duke of Cumberland." I said. "No one even knew he had a sibling, let alone a niece."

"So she could be a comm'ner ven." Peggy said proudly.

"The King would never marry a commoner." I said defensively and Peggy scowled.

"The King can't marry a commoner. They royal blood must remain pure royalty."

"Dat's why 'vey marry ver brovas and sisters." She said with disapproval.

"I bet she'll be the most beautiful queen there has ever been." Charlotte said dreamily. I felt a pang of jealousy and frowned.

"I imagine there are pretty women than her." Charlotte smiled at my jealousy and smiled. I frowned and stared out the window. I started thinking about the new queen. Was she truly as beautiful as they say? Was she going to be the most beautiful queen of all time? Would they same those sings if I were to be the queen?

We arrived at the castle and the line took ages. It took two hours to get through town and then up to the castle steps. Peasants and vagabonds were approaching the carriages and begging for money! "My wife is dead and I need to feed my children," yelled one man and when he was given his money he ran off into the pub. I scowled at the filth. I pulled the curtain across and sat back.

"Do the poor bover you m'lady?" Peggy asked with an amused/offend expression.

"They bother me when they spend our money getting drunk. Why don't they go and get jobs like everyone else!" I snapped.

"They got jobs!" Peggy said and I rolled my eyes.

"Clearly!"

"They have jobs but taxes are high this time if year due to the winter coming." I rolled my eyes and let the subject go. People banged on the side and shouted obscenities at us but we ignored then and carried on through the gates. As we reached the steps a ride came racing by.

"The future queen approaches!" He yelled running up the steps. Carriages moved aside allowing the golden carriage came rolling down the Main Street.

"Quickly!" I urged and we jumped out of the castle and raced up the stairs to get a good look. As we raced by Momma a hand reached out and yanked me backwards, almost throwing me to the floor.

"Act like a lady!" Wickham hissed, increasing my feelings towards him from dislike to hatred. I scowled at him.

"Lizzie for heavens sake!" Momma whispered looking around at the people watching. I rolled my eyes and followed them slowly. This led Charlotte and I to be completely blocked by two giant men. I frowned at Charlotte as we heard people say "there she is!" And "isn't she just marvellous." I looked down at the gap between the men's legs and nodded to Charlotte. We sank down onto our bellies and crawled forward. The future queen came into view as she reached the top step. The King beamed with pride as she was shown before his nobels.

She was on fact radiant. She wore a soft pink gown with squared shoulders and a tight bodice. There were small pink flowers made from sown beads along the bodice. Her long raven black hair was in a long braid that hung over her shoulder and she wore a golden hat that held a white feather and was accented with pink jewels. Her cream coloured skin was glowing and her gene eyes were decorated with charcoal making them more intense. She smiled around the room and then glanced something that made hear smile falter. Then she started to shake and she collapsed to the floor.

People gasped, some screamed but most just ran over to see if she was alright, trampling Charlotte and I in the process. We stood up and brushed off our dresses as we watched the doctor swoop in and she was carried off down a hallway. The king looked flustered as he followed her. He stopped to talk to his cousin before continuing on.

"What happened?" I asked my family.

"She fainted." Lydia said annoyed as she was trying to see above the crowd.

"I know that idiot!" I snapped.

"Elizabeth!" Papa's scolding voice came from behind me. I turned with a bright smile and he shook his head with amusement. "I do not like to hear my beautiful daughter use those words." I rapped my arms around him and felt him chuckle. "And I hate to see her in such dirty clothes! What happened to you two?" He said pinching charlottes cheek with affection. She smiled and blushed.

"Well you see Papa..." I searched for a good enough excuse.

"We couldn't see." Charlotte tried to help. He raised his eyebrows with amusement.

"So you laid on the floor?" He asked and we nodded.

"And then people trampled us when the princess collapsed." I admitted. He stared at us and the burst into laughter.

"I would go and put your dinner clothes on before your mother sees." He said, nodding to a boy behind him. "The boy will show you our suite." Papa said and then shooed us away. The boy led us to the east wing, up the grand staircase and to the right. The stones were made of marvellous porcelain and he warned us to be extra careful after they were cleaned for they were mighty slippery. He led us down the hallway and up another set of straits slightly less as extravagant than the grand staircase. The hallways were carpeted and doors lined the walls every 20 feet or so. He stopped at a suite with a swan on e large oak doors. The swan was a shiny golden colour and it was very obvious that this symbol was new compared to the older more faded ones on the doors we had passed. Across the hall was a shamrock and here was where Jane would stay. The boy opened the doors and explained the rules of the bells to us before leaving. We looked around the large sitting room with the small stone fireplace and smiled at each other. We had so much exploring to do.

That night I woke to the unfamiliar sound of Papa snoring in the other room. I groaned and tried to roll over but Lydia was pressed so close to me that I could barely breath. I sighed with frustration and pushed her away. She just rolled back. As I lay there, my arm losing feeling, I decided that now would be the perfect time to explore. I was used to exploring in the dark since Will had started showing me the castle and the city by night. I was positive that the castle was more likely to be safer than the forest.

I pushed the blankets back and grabbed a candle. I closed our bedchamber door and listened to Papa snore as I lit the candle I was carrying. The fire place cracked and I jumped. Sissy lay on a cushioned bench in front of the dying fire. She stirred when I lifted the iron handle and opened the door. I paused as she inhaled deeply and after letting out a loud fart she went back to sleep. I smirked and bit back laughter as I shut the door behind me.

I lifted the candle and tried to see as far down the hallway as possible but that was nearly impossible. So I headed back for the grand staircase. As I reached the top of the staircase a large dog barked at me from the bottom. I froze and stared panicking. He growled and then raced up the steps pinning me to the floor. He barked and snapped in my face. I started to cry. All I could think about was how I was never going to be queen if I were dead. I covered my face and waited for him to bite me. But in the next minute he was pulled off of me and darted down the hallway. A man stood in front of me and I took deep breaths trying to calm myself.

"Are you alright my dear?" He asked in a soothing tone. "Are you hurt?" I shook my head and wiped the tears away. "Well I am glad you are alright. Although it seems you might burn the castle down." Beside me a small fire had started and the red carpet was turning black. The man stomped on it a couple of times and then the hallway went black. "Ah but now we cannot see." He took a flint out of his pocket and lit the candle. The light erupted from the end and his face was clear now. It was the king!

"Your majesty!" I exclaimed more out of surprise than greeting. He smirked at me and I stared blankly. Then I remembered I was supposed to bow and nodded my head. He placed a hand under my chin and smiled.

"Come! We're friends now. Friends don't bow to each other." He smiled as I looked into his eyes. He was even more handsome up close. His blue eyes twinkled with merriment and his smile was perfect. The frogs in my stomach started hopping again. I hadn't felt them since Tad had lived with us. "Why are you out of bed?"

"I couldn't sleep." I admitted. "My sister takes up the whole bed." He laughed.

" I imagined her a very large little girl." He said with a laugh which made me laugh.

"No she just likes to have a lot of room for sleeping." I said and he nodded.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He asked. The dog barked in the distance and he groaned. "That stupid dog! I hate him!"

"Then why did you buy him?" I asked with a laugh.

"He's my betrothed's dog." He muttered. "I should go and catch him." He looked behind as the dog continued to bark. "Will you be alright to find your way back?" I nodded.

"Better go save someone else's life." I laughed and he smiled. He leant over and kissed my cheek.

"Until we meet again." He said and then disappeared down the hall. I sat there for a minute and let the frogs calm down. My heart was racing. He kissed my cheek! I had to tell Charlotte but I know she would never believe me.

As I was about to stand I heard commotion down the lower hallway. The curiosity overpowered my logic and I went down the steps. As I reached the bottom step a door opened and a girl stepped out.

"I'm married to Adam, Jesse. I made a promise to him and to God and I am going keep it. I understand if I never see you again, but I want you to know that no matter what I will always love you." She said to him. I could hear sniffling in the room and she marched down the hallway, long black hair flowing behind her. I slowly crept to the man's room and saw the crying face of the man the king had thought was dead. I looked down the hallway and watched the woman disappear to the other wing. The princess? The man marched towards the door and slammed it shut. She was in love with this man?

The next day I told Charlotte all about it as we were being dressed. I spoke quietly so no one over heard and used code words. For instance: the king would be his hotness and the princess would've been the new one. None of the girls caught on, at least I don't think they did.

As we walked down to the carriages I saved the best part for last. I told her about how the kings dead friend was alive and the princess was in love with him.

"I don't believe you!" Charlotte said with a frown. "She loves the king. Why else would she marry him?"

"Because he's the richest man in England! He's the king for Pete's sake!"

"So you think she's marrying him for his money?" Charlotte shook her head. "No. Maybe you heard it wrong!"

"I promise you I didn't!" I said with frustration. Charlotte shook her head again and I grumbled. "Just because she's beautiful dissent mean she's nice!" Charlotte raised her eyebrows at me and I scowled and climbed in the carriage. Momma and papa smiled at us and complimented us on our dresses but I didn't hear it. I scowled the whole way to Westminster abbey and through the whole ceremony. I didn't look when she made her entrance and I sighed every time someone spoke. When they said their vows I rolled my eyes and muttered that it was all lies. Lydia nudged my side roughly and I sat striaghter and said no more. At one point everyone laughed and then I started paying attention. Due to our high status we had fairly good seats. I studied her beautiful white wedding dress and sighed. She was stunning! It was very easy being jealous of her beautiful skin and her long black hair! When they kissed I found myself smiling and clapping along with everyone else! They looked happy as they strode down the aisle man and wife. Maybe it had been someone else.


End file.
